Ted Tsai

Things happen for a reason. But we don’t always know what it is.

One of the frequently asked questions in a job interview is, Why did you leave your last job? or Why do you want to leave your current employer? The truth of the matter is, if the real reason is not going to serve you well, don’t tell. Instead, give a politically correct, positive-sounding response. It goes to show, when the stakes are high, we tend to gloss over our intention to leave a place.

The same applies to people. Sometimes we will never know why they chose to leave us.

Last year my life was affected by a string of unfortunate events, I was feeling down and low most of the time. We know talking things over can help. A friend of mine and his wife were kind enough to offer to meet up one Sunday afternoon in June.

We spent a few good hours at my favourite beach. I was touched by the warmth of their sympathy and support. I remember when I returned home that night, I sent him a thank you text message and said how much I was grateful for the conversation.

Little did I know that was it, I would never hear from him again.

The whole thing left me feeling confused. I even doubted myself at one point. Did I say something that might’ve upset him that day? I couldn’t think of anything wrong or inappropriate. Two more attempts at contacting him still didn’t get anywhere. At the end, I decided to let it go.

People come and go. Things change. Circumstances evolve, develop and redevelop. We move on, we go our separate ways as a result.

We don’t always know the motive behind their leaving. Some people like to tell it like it is, some prefer to sugarcoat it or give a polite answer, some use the infamous line “It’s not you, it’s me”, some say no words then go quietly. Whether it justifies or not, one thing we can be sure of is, the bond has loosened, the substance has cracked.

Is it that important to know why people leave? Will it ever satisfy us if we do find out why? It’s hard when we are not the ones who call the shots.

The thing that brought us together in the first place doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be something that keeps us together in the long run. Over time, some relationships become meaningful and deep, some become causal and shallow, some simply drift apart.

And? I believe in the chemistry. In the midst of searching high and low for an answer, it really helps me explain why people come and why people go…

Acceptance is hard to do. It feels like admitting defeat, a surrender to control.

Now older and wiser. I’ve learned the hard way.

Acceptance takes many forms depending on the situation you are in. For me, acceptance is about coming to terms with the reality and letting go of things in the category of “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, might’ve”.

Well into the mid life, I’ve reached the point of no return, a stage I see as it’s now or never.

I no longer feel obliged to fulfil other people’s expectations on me. By that I’m saying I’ve decided to do my own thing, once and for all.

Change involves risks, so does staying put, not wanting to change. With this in mind, it won’t be that scary to venture into the unknown.

Over the course of my longstanding career, for two and an half decades, I’ve always been a white collar guy climbing the corporate ladder. After being made redundant in early 2020, an event I later realised a blessing in disguise, I’ve had the opportunity to slow down and explore the next avenues – be my own boss, a free agent.

The idea of working for others has begun to wane. I think I’m done with that. Every time I look at those job ads on Seek or LinkedIn, I get a feeling of distaste. I want to meet the people who wrote them and tell them: Get real!

How does acceptance come into play here? In the pursuit of doing what I was born to do, finding my niche and my calling, I accept:

EVERYTHING

When I accept everything, it’ll come as no surprise whatever I meet with along the way – people, things, events.

When I accept everything, I’m not saying I approve of it, I’m saying I simply acknowledge their existence, like it or not.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I don’t want to accept everything.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I’m not accepted by everything.

Strangely enough, when I accept everything, everything seems to become nothing…

Too much of the same thing, good, bad or ugly, we lose interest very quickly. Even with the best of intentions, the novelty will eventually wear off overtime.

The other day I decided to un-follow those Facebook pages that I once loved. Why? I had enough. The spark was no longer there.

In the very beginning I simply skipped over those boring posts. As they’d become a bit same old, same old to me. At the end, I removed them all, in one stroke. Now my feeds look cleaner and tidier.

Imagine someone keeps telling you the same old story over and over again. If it’s a good news, you may feel happy for them at first. But later, when you hear it long enough, it’ll start to sound like a broken record. Likewise, if it’s something a bad news, you may feel sorry for them at first. But later, when you hear it too often, you will start to feel a bit numb.

When I was working in the city CBD, I noticed most people just couldn’t care less about the homeless people or beggars on the street or outside a mall. Not that they had no sympathy towards them. They got desensitised. It’s sad but true, it’s same bunch of people sitting there day in day out, nothing has changed. We get used to seeing them this way.

Fortunately or unfortunately, our brain is biased. In this day and age, information overload is the norm. When a news repeatedly filters through to our head space during the day, our attention span will only get shorter and shorter. Consequently it will no longer touch us.

It’s no wonder someone like me has become very selective. To make sure my listeners or followers stay engaged, focused and interested, it’s important to keep the stuff I share original. The best cure for boredom is creativity.

And the last word? Repeat after me. Say it once, not twice: We are only humans. We get desensitised…

The pandemic has turned many lives upside down. In the past few months we’ve seen new vaccines start to roll out and are made available to the general public in some parts of the world. But will life return to normal again? That’s everyone’s guess.

Collectively, if the community is safe, we’re all safe. We know how quickly community transmission can spread. Especially those cases with no known source, that’s what makes health authorities nervous.

Fortunately, as I write this, our state NSW has hit a new record – 28 consecutive days of no locally acquired coronavirus cases. That’s a good news. Having said that, we also know there’s no place for complacency at this stage. The results we’ve already seen are the second or third wave of the coronavirus wrecking the previous efforts, causing governments to re-impose more lockdowns, in an attempt to stop a growing number of new cases.

While we’re eager to see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s more important than ever to look after ourselves – physical health and mental health. Be kind, reach out and support the local community. Now is the time to bounce back!

Easier said than done. But where do we begin? That’s where the concept of Love Local comes in. It’s simple: Live locally, shop locally.

Recently I had a chance to explore the neighbourhood and I was amazed to discover some cool places near where I live. Not all of them I knew existed. It was quite a fun experience. A few days later, I decided to go back and make a video out of it. Crazy huh?

If interested, below is the link to the video on my YouTube channel. I’ve literally just posted it. The total length is a little bit over 3 minutes. It’s short and sweet. I hope you enjoy it!

Lastly, wherever you reside in, I encourage you to spend time to get to know your area. You might be surprised to find a hidden gem just around the corner.

Take care.

Ted

Are you ready to fly solo? The idea may scare some people off, but for me, it’s freedom.

I guess it’s to do with my personality. Being an introvert, I feel free, comfortable, alive and energised when I am by myself. When I looked back, It’s no surprise that I got my creative juices flowing when I was in a state of solitude.

For some reason, there seems to be a few misconceptions around about introverts, that they are less likely to take risks compared with people who are more extroverted by nature. I don’t wish to start a fight between introverts and extroverts or anything in between. I think personality may play a part, small or big, but it doesn’t matter who you are, because at the end of the day, it’s really about whether you have the guts to bear the consequences of your own actions.

Without doubt, it takes courage to put your stuff out to the world. Be prepared! Getting zero response at first in normal. As a content creator, later when you start to grow in the creative spaces, getting a mixed bag of responses is all in a day’s work. Sometimes we have to ignore the naysayers. Our job isn’t to shut them up. We can’t anyway. Our job is to keep producing materials that’ll be useful for others.

For now, it’s about getting down to business. Below is a link to my fourth YouTube video. The theme is Be Adventurous.

Every time I come to Balmoral Beach, I tend to stay at the quieter end – less visited by people and away from the crowd. It’s funny, for years I didn’t know it existed until one day I took a bold step to venture into the unfamiliar territory. The results were quite pleasing.

Here, I’ll take you to a few sites where I usually hang out. There’s a personal story to tell in this video but I’ll leave it with the imagination of the viewers. If you watch it till the end, you might see why Balmoral Beach holds a special place in my heart. All in all, I’m just glad to share this video with the audience – wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for watching!

Ted

Building on the success of my first YouTube video, I expected myself to get off to a good start in my second YouTube video. But in real life there’re always some forms of dramas waiting to happen.

The good news is I found myself to be more effective and efficient in film editing. It was an absolute bliss to see the content I’d created being put together nicely. The bad news is then the last minute, one wrong click away, I accidentally removed everything including the first video. A long story short, I ended up spending all night without rest to re-create and replicate the video files I lost. One important lesson learned – always back up your files! While it was a relief to see them again, the next day I felt like shit because of the lack of sleep.

Now I’ve got the drama out of way, let’s talk about the soul of my second YouTube video.

The title is Follow Your Instincts: Discover Headland Park Mosman Sydney.

Years ago I stumbled across Headland Park Mosman while walking my dog in the neighbourhood. I’ve always been a spontaneous, action-oriented, play-it-by-ear person. I guess in some way I can be seen as slightly eccentric. Because of it, I tend to take the road less traveled. For me, having an inquiring mind and staying curious often leads to the discovery of many beautiful gems. This video is a good example of it. But if you aren’t into something too deep or philosophical, it showcases the beautiful scenery everyone can enjoy.

Most of us prefer to play it safe. But in life there are situations where we don’t always have the luxury – a road map or a rulebook to tell us how to go from point A to point B. Our gut feeling exists for a reason, it’s an innate quality we were born with. If it tells you that something is a bit fishy, too good to be true, chances are it’s got a valid point somewhere. But If it tells you that something is worth taking a risk, then there’s a good chance it may be right.

So, I invite you to watch my second YouTube video. The link is below. I hope you like it. And if you haven’t already, please also check out my first YouTube video while you’re there.

Till next time… Watch this space.

Ted

A couple of months ago I got an urge to make a video on YouTube. I thought why not! I have nothing to lose. So, the first thing I did was to create a YouTube channel and write a description of what it’s all about. Well, not long after that, the novelty started to wear off, I left the account sit idle for a week or two.

When my earlier enthusiasm returned, I still wasn’t sure about:

• What kinds of content should I put out to the world?

• How should I present myself to the global audience?

I was also worrying about being disliked, judged or commented.

In the process, I went through a period of self-searching, self-doubts and all that. I was struggling to find my unique voice, style and branding. While technically, I needed to learn how to make a YouTube video from scratch myself.

It’s easy to see why people tune into YouTube. In short, there’re two reasons:

• To be educated. They want to learn new skills, gain new knowledge/information, find quick and effective ways of fixing things.

• To be entertained. They want to be amused, stimulated or just have a good laugh.

I fantasied a few ideas here and there but deep down I knew I was just a jack-of-all-trades, master of none, no one would be interested in my stuff. This type of self-defeating voice was constantly playing in my head.

After diving into this subject a bit further and hearing other people’s similar experiences and stories, I realised, there’s no magic bullet. The saying “practice makes perfect” sums it up. Those who’ve made a name for themselves as popular, talented YouTubers, they look so natural and confident in front of camera. But that’s because they’ve practiced again and again. If you go back to watch their first few videos on YouTube, you’ll see why they’ve come a long way!

While I’m the new kid on the block on the YouTube scene, I believe I can become a pro as long as keep on practicing. For now though, I’m happy that I’ve found a new hobby – filmmaking.

From concept to completion, from start to finish, it took around 2 months. So, without further ado. Here it is the final cut. Check it out. Hope you guys like it.

Ted

What you see is what you get?

In hindsight, things begin to reveal their true selves and only then do we see the bigger picture better.

What is it supposed to mean? There’s more to a situation than meets the eye!

Since the early December, I’ve written two posts about the unlucky events that happened to me around that time.

If you haven’t read them yet, here’s a quick recap:

Back luck number 1. I got a flat tyre while driving my way to The Northern Beaches. As a result, I didn’t end up going.

Back luck number 2. A few days later, my car hit the front gate of the tyre store while I was bringing it to the service area. As a result, I couldn’t go again.

Both incidents have left a bad taste in my mouth. They ruined my Sunday plans. Not only my time was wasted, my money also went out the window.

Well, that was then, What about now? I count myself lucky. It turns out they were in fact a blessing in disguise. I wouldn’t have known in the first place.

Due to a cluster of coronavirus cases in The Norther Beaches, the government has declared it to be a high-risk area and imposed a lockdown there since last weekend. The health authority says that anyone who was in around the area in the past 3 weeks, should go and do a swab test and self isolate at home for 14 days.

Lucky me!

I won’t bore you with all other details here. But I guess the moral of the story is: We sometimes describe something as terrible, bad or negative, but later when new developments start to come out, they completely rewrite history. Vice versa.

If anything that’s bothering, annoying or upsetting you at the present time, hold your breath. Don’t write it off just yet. You may be surprised that in the ensuing days, weeks or even months, you no longer see it the same way as it was a while ago.

Time will tell. As life evolves, so do you. You’ll gain new knowledge, new perspectives and new understanding of what went on. Perhaps by then, you may see it was a blessing in disguise…