In the past few days I had an uneasy feeling, a mild form of anxiety. Why? My dentist appointment is coming up, my car registration will be due in a month or so and I still have no idea of what my job prospects would look like. Anyway, all sorts of things.
Then the other day, I went back to review those long posts I wrote on Facebook in 2020. It reminded me how shitty the year it was for my life. Compared with now, I must say what I’m anxious about is nothing.
Everyone is a marketer of their public faces. We all try to make ourselves look good on social media. But only when you’re honest with yourself, will those candid words of yours save the day. That’s the power of authentic writing.
In recent months I’ve devoted the bulk of my time to filmmaking. I see it as an extension of my writing journey. It’s addictive. Mind you, it’s not all fun and games.
Some of you probably know I like spending time around nature – beaches and bushes. So it should come as no surprise that the content I’ve created is centred on these settings.
First thing I’ve learned from the filmmaking process is: Nature has its own set of timing. You only get one shot at it. You can’t ask nature to do it again or rehearse each scene over and over. If you missed out the sunset, c’est la vie. Come back next time. Still no guarantee it’ll be smooth sailing going forward.
The second thing I’ve learned is: Unpredictability. No matter how much you’ve prepared and practiced in advance, you can never predict what’s going to happen next. For example, I was in the middle of introduction on the set, then a few seconds later, before I was about to wrap up, a plane was flying over affecting the sound quality. What can you do? Do it again. That’s life!
The third thing I’ve learned is: Bloopers are bound to happen. Unplanned and uncensored. No worries! Have a laugh. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Forget about perfection. Often, in the end it’s those unexpected, unscripted, spontaneous, out-of-nowhere funny moments that become legendary and memorable.
After being my own therapist for a day, what can I say? In a few words, writing and filmmaking have saved me. They are an antidote to my anxiety. Best of all, all natural remedy, repeat as necessary, no prescription required…
Ted Tsai 