Why Do People Come And Go?

Things happen for a reason. But we don’t always know what it is.

One of the frequently asked questions in a job interview is, Why did you leave your last job? or Why do you want to leave your current employer? The truth of the matter is, if the real reason is not going to serve you well, don’t tell. Instead, give a politically correct, positive-sounding response. It goes to show, when the stakes are high, we tend to gloss over our intention to leave a place.

The same applies to people. Sometimes we will never know why they chose to leave us.

Last year my life was affected by a string of unfortunate events, I was feeling down and low most of the time. We know talking things over can help. A friend of mine and his wife were kind enough to offer to meet up one Sunday afternoon in June.

We spent a few good hours at my favourite beach. I was touched by the warmth of their sympathy and support. I remember when I returned home that night, I sent him a thank you text message and said how much I was grateful for the conversation.

Little did I know that was it, I would never hear from him again.

The whole thing left me feeling confused. I even doubted myself at one point. Did I say something that might’ve upset him that day? I couldn’t think of anything wrong or inappropriate. Two more attempts at contacting him still didn’t get anywhere. At the end, I decided to let it go.

People come and go. Things change. Circumstances evolve, develop and redevelop. We move on, we go our separate ways as a result.

We don’t always know the motive behind their leaving. Some people like to tell it like it is, some prefer to sugarcoat it or give a polite answer, some use the infamous line “It’s not you, it’s me”, some say no words then go quietly. Whether it justifies or not, one thing we can be sure of is, the bond has loosened, the substance has cracked.

Is it that important to know why people leave? Will it ever satisfy us if we do find out why? It’s hard when we are not the ones who call the shots.

The thing that brought us together in the first place doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be something that keeps us together in the long run. Over time, some relationships become meaningful and deep, some become causal and shallow, some simply drift apart.

And? I believe in the chemistry. In the midst of searching high and low for an answer, it really helps me explain why people come and why people go…