Tag: Life

Acceptance is hard to do. It feels like admitting defeat, a surrender to control.

Now older and wiser. I’ve learned the hard way.

Acceptance takes many forms depending on the situation you are in. For me, acceptance is about coming to terms with the reality and letting go of things in the category of “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, might’ve”.

Well into the mid life, I’ve reached the point of no return, a stage I see as it’s now or never.

I no longer feel obliged to fulfil other people’s expectations on me. By that I’m saying I’ve decided to do my own thing, once and for all.

Change involves risks, so does staying put, not wanting to change. With this in mind, it won’t be that scary to venture into the unknown.

Over the course of my longstanding career, for two and an half decades, I’ve always been a white collar guy climbing the corporate ladder. After being made redundant in early 2020, an event I later realised a blessing in disguise, I’ve had the opportunity to slow down and explore the next avenues – be my own boss, a free agent.

The idea of working for others has begun to wane. I think I’m done with that. Every time I look at those job ads on Seek or LinkedIn, I get a feeling of distaste. I want to meet the people who wrote them and tell them: Get real!

How does acceptance come into play here? In the pursuit of doing what I was born to do, finding my niche and my calling, I accept:

EVERYTHING

When I accept everything, it’ll come as no surprise whatever I meet with along the way – people, things, events.

When I accept everything, I’m not saying I approve of it, I’m saying I simply acknowledge their existence, like it or not.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I don’t want to accept everything.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I’m not accepted by everything.

Strangely enough, when I accept everything, everything seems to become nothing…

Too much of the same thing, good, bad or ugly, we lose interest very quickly. Even with the best of intentions, the novelty will eventually wear off overtime.

The other day I decided to un-follow those Facebook pages that I once loved. Why? I had enough. The spark was no longer there.

In the very beginning I simply skipped over those boring posts. As they’d become a bit same old, same old to me. At the end, I removed them all, in one stroke. Now my feeds look cleaner and tidier.

Imagine someone keeps telling you the same old story over and over again. If it’s a good news, you may feel happy for them at first. But later, when you hear it long enough, it’ll start to sound like a broken record. Likewise, if it’s something a bad news, you may feel sorry for them at first. But later, when you hear it too often, you will start to feel a bit numb.

When I was working in the city CBD, I noticed most people just couldn’t care less about the homeless people or beggars on the street or outside a mall. Not that they had no sympathy towards them. They got desensitised. It’s sad but true, it’s same bunch of people sitting there day in day out, nothing has changed. We get used to seeing them this way.

Fortunately or unfortunately, our brain is biased. In this day and age, information overload is the norm. When a news repeatedly filters through to our head space during the day, our attention span will only get shorter and shorter. Consequently it will no longer touch us.

It’s no wonder someone like me has become very selective. To make sure my listeners or followers stay engaged, focused and interested, it’s important to keep the stuff I share original. The best cure for boredom is creativity.

And the last word? Repeat after me. Say it once, not twice: We are only humans. We get desensitised…

The pandemic has turned many lives upside down. In the past few months we’ve seen new vaccines start to roll out and are made available to the general public in some parts of the world. But will life return to normal again? That’s everyone’s guess.

Collectively, if the community is safe, we’re all safe. We know how quickly community transmission can spread. Especially those cases with no known source, that’s what makes health authorities nervous.

Fortunately, as I write this, our state NSW has hit a new record – 28 consecutive days of no locally acquired coronavirus cases. That’s a good news. Having said that, we also know there’s no place for complacency at this stage. The results we’ve already seen are the second or third wave of the coronavirus wrecking the previous efforts, causing governments to re-impose more lockdowns, in an attempt to stop a growing number of new cases.

While we’re eager to see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s more important than ever to look after ourselves – physical health and mental health. Be kind, reach out and support the local community. Now is the time to bounce back!

Easier said than done. But where do we begin? That’s where the concept of Love Local comes in. It’s simple: Live locally, shop locally.

Recently I had a chance to explore the neighbourhood and I was amazed to discover some cool places near where I live. Not all of them I knew existed. It was quite a fun experience. A few days later, I decided to go back and make a video out of it. Crazy huh?

If interested, below is the link to the video on my YouTube channel. I’ve literally just posted it. The total length is a little bit over 3 minutes. It’s short and sweet. I hope you enjoy it!

Lastly, wherever you reside in, I encourage you to spend time to get to know your area. You might be surprised to find a hidden gem just around the corner.

Take care.

Ted

Are you ready to fly solo? The idea may scare some people off, but for me, it’s freedom.

I guess it’s to do with my personality. Being an introvert, I feel free, comfortable, alive and energised when I am by myself. When I looked back, It’s no surprise that I got my creative juices flowing when I was in a state of solitude.

For some reason, there seems to be a few misconceptions around about introverts, that they are less likely to take risks compared with people who are more extroverted by nature. I don’t wish to start a fight between introverts and extroverts or anything in between. I think personality may play a part, small or big, but it doesn’t matter who you are, because at the end of the day, it’s really about whether you have the guts to bear the consequences of your own actions.

Without doubt, it takes courage to put your stuff out to the world. Be prepared! Getting zero response at first in normal. As a content creator, later when you start to grow in the creative spaces, getting a mixed bag of responses is all in a day’s work. Sometimes we have to ignore the naysayers. Our job isn’t to shut them up. We can’t anyway. Our job is to keep producing materials that’ll be useful for others.

For now, it’s about getting down to business. Below is a link to my fourth YouTube video. The theme is Be Adventurous.

Every time I come to Balmoral Beach, I tend to stay at the quieter end – less visited by people and away from the crowd. It’s funny, for years I didn’t know it existed until one day I took a bold step to venture into the unfamiliar territory. The results were quite pleasing.

Here, I’ll take you to a few sites where I usually hang out. There’s a personal story to tell in this video but I’ll leave it with the imagination of the viewers. If you watch it till the end, you might see why Balmoral Beach holds a special place in my heart. All in all, I’m just glad to share this video with the audience – wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for watching!

Ted

Building on the success of my first YouTube video, I expected myself to get off to a good start in my second YouTube video. But in real life there’re always some forms of dramas waiting to happen.

The good news is I found myself to be more effective and efficient in film editing. It was an absolute bliss to see the content I’d created being put together nicely. The bad news is then the last minute, one wrong click away, I accidentally removed everything including the first video. A long story short, I ended up spending all night without rest to re-create and replicate the video files I lost. One important lesson learned – always back up your files! While it was a relief to see them again, the next day I felt like shit because of the lack of sleep.

Now I’ve got the drama out of way, let’s talk about the soul of my second YouTube video.

The title is Follow Your Instincts: Discover Headland Park Mosman Sydney.

Years ago I stumbled across Headland Park Mosman while walking my dog in the neighbourhood. I’ve always been a spontaneous, action-oriented, play-it-by-ear person. I guess in some way I can be seen as slightly eccentric. Because of it, I tend to take the road less traveled. For me, having an inquiring mind and staying curious often leads to the discovery of many beautiful gems. This video is a good example of it. But if you aren’t into something too deep or philosophical, it showcases the beautiful scenery everyone can enjoy.

Most of us prefer to play it safe. But in life there are situations where we don’t always have the luxury – a road map or a rulebook to tell us how to go from point A to point B. Our gut feeling exists for a reason, it’s an innate quality we were born with. If it tells you that something is a bit fishy, too good to be true, chances are it’s got a valid point somewhere. But If it tells you that something is worth taking a risk, then there’s a good chance it may be right.

So, I invite you to watch my second YouTube video. The link is below. I hope you like it. And if you haven’t already, please also check out my first YouTube video while you’re there.

Till next time… Watch this space.

Ted

A couple of months ago I got an urge to make a video on YouTube. I thought why not! I have nothing to lose. So, the first thing I did was to create a YouTube channel and write a description of what it’s all about. Well, not long after that, the novelty started to wear off, I left the account sit idle for a week or two.

When my earlier enthusiasm returned, I still wasn’t sure about:

• What kinds of content should I put out to the world?

• How should I present myself to the global audience?

I was also worrying about being disliked, judged or commented.

In the process, I went through a period of self-searching, self-doubts and all that. I was struggling to find my unique voice, style and branding. While technically, I needed to learn how to make a YouTube video from scratch myself.

It’s easy to see why people tune into YouTube. In short, there’re two reasons:

• To be educated. They want to learn new skills, gain new knowledge/information, find quick and effective ways of fixing things.

• To be entertained. They want to be amused, stimulated or just have a good laugh.

I fantasied a few ideas here and there but deep down I knew I was just a jack-of-all-trades, master of none, no one would be interested in my stuff. This type of self-defeating voice was constantly playing in my head.

After diving into this subject a bit further and hearing other people’s similar experiences and stories, I realised, there’s no magic bullet. The saying “practice makes perfect” sums it up. Those who’ve made a name for themselves as popular, talented YouTubers, they look so natural and confident in front of camera. But that’s because they’ve practiced again and again. If you go back to watch their first few videos on YouTube, you’ll see why they’ve come a long way!

While I’m the new kid on the block on the YouTube scene, I believe I can become a pro as long as keep on practicing. For now though, I’m happy that I’ve found a new hobby – filmmaking.

From concept to completion, from start to finish, it took around 2 months. So, without further ado. Here it is the final cut. Check it out. Hope you guys like it.

Ted

What you see is what you get?

In hindsight, things begin to reveal their true selves and only then do we see the bigger picture better.

What is it supposed to mean? There’s more to a situation than meets the eye!

Since the early December, I’ve written two posts about the unlucky events that happened to me around that time.

If you haven’t read them yet, here’s a quick recap:

Back luck number 1. I got a flat tyre while driving my way to The Northern Beaches. As a result, I didn’t end up going.

Back luck number 2. A few days later, my car hit the front gate of the tyre store while I was bringing it to the service area. As a result, I couldn’t go again.

Both incidents have left a bad taste in my mouth. They ruined my Sunday plans. Not only my time was wasted, my money also went out the window.

Well, that was then, What about now? I count myself lucky. It turns out they were in fact a blessing in disguise. I wouldn’t have known in the first place.

Due to a cluster of coronavirus cases in The Norther Beaches, the government has declared it to be a high-risk area and imposed a lockdown there since last weekend. The health authority says that anyone who was in around the area in the past 3 weeks, should go and do a swab test and self isolate at home for 14 days.

Lucky me!

I won’t bore you with all other details here. But I guess the moral of the story is: We sometimes describe something as terrible, bad or negative, but later when new developments start to come out, they completely rewrite history. Vice versa.

If anything that’s bothering, annoying or upsetting you at the present time, hold your breath. Don’t write it off just yet. You may be surprised that in the ensuing days, weeks or even months, you no longer see it the same way as it was a while ago.

Time will tell. As life evolves, so do you. You’ll gain new knowledge, new perspectives and new understanding of what went on. Perhaps by then, you may see it was a blessing in disguise…

Bad luck. The bad news is: It happens to everyone. It’s part of life. The good news is: It has an expiry date. It doesn’t last.

I recently had a talk with my mentor Steve about a string of unfortunate events that’d happened to me. I attributed them all to one thing: Bad luck. Instead of going along with it, he simply said: No, I don’t think it’s bad luck, that’s life!

It got it.

Generally we describe bad luck as something happens in a wrong place at a wrong time. For the sake of argument, any place can be a wrong place and any time can be a wrong time. Bad luck is so random that no one can say conclusively it follows a particular format or formula.

Some say everything happens for a reason. But more often than not we have doubts about what constitutes a good reason. Even we have a good reason to believe it, it doesn’t necessarily take away or lessen the pain.

2020 it sucks, big time. As the year draws to a close, let’s hope we all finish on a good note. The other day I felt a bit hopeless when I was having flashbacks to those sagas in my life. You can’t help but wonder: OK, bad luck comes in threes, now one out of way, what’s next?

Perhaps it’s not all the doom and gloom. Everyone has that fighting spirit they can call on. The moment I started to feel hopeful is when I faced up to the reality and did something about it. Actually, there’s a bunch of people who will lend you a helping hand if you ask. I must also stress: Don’t use shortcuts to solve your problem. Do it properly. Even if it means going the extra mile, you do it once and for all. You’ll thank yourself for it later.

Friends and family can give us a sympathetic ear in our hour of need, but they can only take so much. For matters that are trickier or more technical, it’s better if we consult with professionals for their expertise and pay them for their services.

Bad luck isn’t the be-all and end-all. When you take the bad with the good and when you take a bold step to deal with a mess it leaves behind, you’ll discover strengths and patience that you didn’t know you had. And that’s your secret weapon…

Your voice may have a far-reaching effect than you realize.

Should I or shouldn’t I? When we can’t make up our minds, we normally turn to our family or friends for advice. Sometimes they express their views based on own preferences or biases, which may not serve our best interest. Other times they’re just like us, have no clue themselves. Wat do you do in this instance? Where would you seek a second opinion? Well, that’s when Google search engine comes in.

One day last week I woke up having this compulsion. I felt an overwhelming urge to buy one of those Samsung new tablets on the market. I’d done my research, I’d watched those product reviews on YouTube, I’d been thinking about it for days and I could afford it. What am I waiting for? Well, I only had one last hurdle to cross – To convince myself that I really need one.

Before I got too carried away, I thought I’d better check on Google to see if anyone had written anything about it. So, on the search box I typed in a sentence: Do I need to buy a tablet? Within seconds, a whole range of related sites popped up in front of me. As I was scrolling, I found a post written in 2018 to be very helpful.

Even though it was published a while ago, the information in the article is still relevant to today. The writer presented both sides of the argument for and against with the bold headings: Reasons to buy and Reasons not to buy.

After reading through some key points, I decided: I don’t need one, I’m not going to buy one.

The writer of this post is what I call a real influencer. I bet he wouldn’t have thought of that.

Let’s face it, what we’ve written on social media or in our blogs are short-lived. Because it comes and goes, it’s easy to think that it may not have an impact on others in any way, shape or form. Think again! Two weeks or two months or two years from now, some random readers out there may come across your writing and find it super useful and valuable.

Want to become a real influencer? A real influencer is here for the long-haul. The curve will certainly go up and down but you never know how far your writing will travel to and how many lives it’ll touch…

A couple of recent incidents got me thinking about The Law of Attraction.

While we all want to attract good fortunes to our lives, sometimes we inadvertently “invite” opposites to ourselves, too.

To write a post about this topic while I’m still living through the aftermath of the events is not easy. But as I found out many times in the past, writing is healing. So, I’m going to hold on one more time.

How did it all begin? Let me set the scene first. Last Sunday was a scorching hot day reaching 40 degrees ℃. On top of that, the wild gusty winds only intensified and made it worse.

It’d be no fun to engage in any outdoor activities under these conditions. Given the soaring heat might do some damage to the wheels of my car, I decided to postpone my beach day till Tuesday when the forecast said it was going to be mild.

When Tuesday came, I did exactly that – driving to a beach! After only 5 minutes on the road, I noticed a driver in the next lane wanting to tell me something. I opened the window and heard him saying: You’ve got a flat tyre at the back. At first, I thought he was joking as I hadn’t felt any difference. But later I started to feel a bit funny, so I decided to turn back and check what was going on. And? Yes, he was right. I’ve got a flat tyre! The last thing I needed. First things first, I quickly called roadside assistance for help.

OK, it was bad luck. But I should also factor in another thing – I took a different route, instead of an usual route to avoid a traffic jam.

The whole thing led me to think: Do we attract to what we try to avoid?

The incident ruined my plan, it was inconvenient and annoying. But later that day I asked myself this question: Can I take the bad with the good?

Yes, I was grateful for the driver in the next lane, I almost ignored him. If not for him, I could’ve been in a worse situation – a car accident or something. I was also thankful for the guy from roadside assistance who came to my aid. He changed the flat tyre and replaced it with a spare tyre I had in the back of my car. While waiting for him to do the job, there was a raging storm happening. I remember he said at least we are inside the car park, not outside getting wet!

I finished the day on a positive note.

Just when I thought I’d got my fair share of bad luck, another incident soon followed two days later. It was spooky but a long story short. To comply with a scheduled clean of the garage area, I needed to remove my car from the parking lot and leave it on the street unattended. I thought I was already out, why not stopping by a tyre shop to get the flat tyre repaired.

For the sake of easy parking and some better Google reviews, I picked this tyre shop in a less busier street, instead of the one next to the highway.

While there, I was told to park my car in the designated service area. To do that, I’d have to reverse a little and then make a left turn towards it. Within seconds, I heard a big bang. My heart sank when I realized my car had hit their front gate.

It was way more than I’d bargained for. I was meant to go there to solve a small problem – a flat tyre, now I got myself a bigger problem – a smashed car. More money will go out the window. I was in disbelief.

What can I say? Or more importantly, what can I learn from these? Don’t tempt fate? Don’t try to get things done in a rush or at your convenience? Don’t open the floodgates to mishaps? Better leave nothing to chance?

Things I tried to avoid, ended up happening in succession. Perhaps avoidance is another form of reinforcement.

I’m still upset over the latest episode. Part of me wants to figure everything out, but another part me wants to let it go. At the end of the day, it’s only a car. As time goes by, I feel I’m leaning more towards to forgiving myself. And I will not try to avoid it this time…