Category: Life

Don’t tell me if your life hasn’t been affected by it.

The world has changed. The pandemic has taught us one big lesson in life – uncertainty is the norm, expect the unexpected.

We’ve seen people’s lives turn upside down in a split second. All of sudden, we realise, chasing money is not the be-all and end-all. Family is more important.

A typical 9 to 5 job, with full time hours 5 days a week, plus a two-way commute, constitutes a large portion of our everyday life. We are so stressed out and so time-poor during weekdays that we try to cram many activities into weekends just to make up the missing opportunities, which can cause another stress-induced problem. If you walk into any chemist, the largest displayed items you will see on the shelves or behind the pharmacist counter are probably some pain relief or antidepressant medicine. Surprised?

Increasingly, more and more companies are creating a family-friendly workplace. They encourage their employees to have work-life balance by offering flexible hours or work from home or leave without pay options etc. But overtime is still commonplace. Not getting paid for it is also normal since most pay these days is written as a package which includes all additional hours worked going forward. Very smart!

Instead of relaxing, taking it easy, doing what we love to do in our spare time (if we’re lucky to have one), we take up a treadmill of chores that feels like an obligation. Then it becomes a vicious circle. At the end of the day, we don’t rest long enough. Life is just too busy.

Is it time for a change?

Interestingly, Spain has announced that it will trial a 4 day work week (which equates to 32 hours per week) over 3 years. What about money? Well, it’s good to know that workers’ pay will not be cut under the scheme as the Spanish government will subsidise the difference in salary. Imagine if the project is proved to be successful, it can revolutionise the so-called work life in many countries if they also follow suit.

Is it time to get out of the rat race?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about retirement. The first question that popped up in my head is, Can I afford it? The second question is, Am I too young to retire?

The idea of going back to the corporate world has lost its appeal. The attractiveness of those white-collar types of jobs is waning. After a 3 decade career in various high-profile companies, I’m done. While I will never say never, it’s true that with each passing day, I’m gravitating more and more towards my real calling, which is something I was born to do.

Is it time for action?

It’s quite scary to walk away from the comfort zone and venture into the path that is transformative and life-changing. It sounds exciting but I’m not kidding myself, the road ahead is very much like uncharted territory. Do I need a long answer, a list of reasoning so that I feel safe to dive into the unknown?

Think about it, you only live once. My mind is made up…

Are you doing what you love? If not, why not?

It may sound counter-intuitive, but let’s face it, doing what you love isn’t easy. It’s a lot harder than doing not what you love.

You don’t simply drop everything, switch off and switch on and you are on the way to finding your calling. Sabotage, stereotypes, resistance, expectations, distractions and judgement from self, family, friends, or even strangers, and social media etc, are some of greatest challenges faced by anyone who wishes to do what they love. People will want to have a say in your new venture. Are you going to cave in?

Doing what you love comes at a price, doing not what you love also comes at a price. Which one can you afford?

It doesn’t surprise me that people are more likely to regret for things they haven’t done, than for things they have done wrong. What it’s telling us is plain and simple, loud and clear.

For me, doing what I love is a choice, a conscious choice. It’s a responsible thing to do for my life.

The other day a friend asked me if I’m now a full time YouTuber. I paused, then laughed. The short answer is Yes.

I’m a complete beginner. That’s OK. My newest hobby is far cry from anything I’ve done before. That’s OK. The channel is in its infancy, many light years away from becoming a household name. That’s OK. At least, I’m doing what I love. How long will I do it for? That’s a good question. The answer is until I don’t love it anymore.

But what about job security, financial security, money and all that? No, I don’t get any of those, yet. It’s a price I have to pay for doing what I love. That’s OK.

While I am all in, it doesn’t mean I haven’t psyched myself up or thought about a Plan B or some kind of fallback plan, in case things go pear-shaped down the track.

Dr. Doris Brougham, the founder of a popular English teaching magazine Studio Classroom in 1962 in Taiwan, now in her 90’s is still teaching English on the radio. She’s living proof that do what you love and you will last, as the longevity of her chosen career has shown.

Doing what we love is rewarding in itself but it doesn’t just stop there. What’s more, when we do what we love, we get in the flow, we are in the zone. We feel much happier and more fulfilled. That to me is priceless…

Things happen for a reason. But we don’t always know what it is.

One of the frequently asked questions in a job interview is, Why did you leave your last job? or Why do you want to leave your current employer? The truth of the matter is, if the real reason is not going to serve you well, don’t tell. Instead, give a politically correct, positive-sounding response. It goes to show, when the stakes are high, we tend to gloss over our intention to leave a place.

The same applies to people. Sometimes we will never know why they chose to leave us.

Last year my life was affected by a string of unfortunate events, I was feeling down and low most of the time. We know talking things over can help. A friend of mine and his wife were kind enough to offer to meet up one Sunday afternoon in June.

We spent a few good hours at my favourite beach. I was touched by the warmth of their sympathy and support. I remember when I returned home that night, I sent him a thank you text message and said how much I was grateful for the conversation.

Little did I know that was it, I would never hear from him again.

The whole thing left me feeling confused. I even doubted myself at one point. Did I say something that might’ve upset him that day? I couldn’t think of anything wrong or inappropriate. Two more attempts at contacting him still didn’t get anywhere. At the end, I decided to let it go.

People come and go. Things change. Circumstances evolve, develop and redevelop. We move on, we go our separate ways as a result.

We don’t always know the motive behind their leaving. Some people like to tell it like it is, some prefer to sugarcoat it or give a polite answer, some use the infamous line “It’s not you, it’s me”, some say no words then go quietly. Whether it justifies or not, one thing we can be sure of is, the bond has loosened, the substance has cracked.

Is it that important to know why people leave? Will it ever satisfy us if we do find out why? It’s hard when we are not the ones who call the shots.

The thing that brought us together in the first place doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be something that keeps us together in the long run. Over time, some relationships become meaningful and deep, some become causal and shallow, some simply drift apart.

And? I believe in the chemistry. In the midst of searching high and low for an answer, it really helps me explain why people come and why people go…

Acceptance is hard to do. It feels like admitting defeat, a surrender to control.

Now older and wiser. I’ve learned the hard way.

Acceptance takes many forms depending on the situation you are in. For me, acceptance is about coming to terms with the reality and letting go of things in the category of “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, might’ve”.

Well into the mid life, I’ve reached the point of no return, a stage I see as it’s now or never.

I no longer feel obliged to fulfil other people’s expectations on me. By that I’m saying I’ve decided to do my own thing, once and for all.

Change involves risks, so does staying put, not wanting to change. With this in mind, it won’t be that scary to venture into the unknown.

Over the course of my longstanding career, for two and an half decades, I’ve always been a white collar guy climbing the corporate ladder. After being made redundant in early 2020, an event I later realised a blessing in disguise, I’ve had the opportunity to slow down and explore the next avenues – be my own boss, a free agent.

The idea of working for others has begun to wane. I think I’m done with that. Every time I look at those job ads on Seek or LinkedIn, I get a feeling of distaste. I want to meet the people who wrote them and tell them: Get real!

How does acceptance come into play here? In the pursuit of doing what I was born to do, finding my niche and my calling, I accept:

EVERYTHING

When I accept everything, it’ll come as no surprise whatever I meet with along the way – people, things, events.

When I accept everything, I’m not saying I approve of it, I’m saying I simply acknowledge their existence, like it or not.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I don’t want to accept everything.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I’m not accepted by everything.

Strangely enough, when I accept everything, everything seems to become nothing…

Too much of the same thing, good, bad or ugly, we lose interest very quickly. Even with the best of intentions, the novelty will eventually wear off overtime.

The other day I decided to un-follow those Facebook pages that I once loved. Why? I had enough. The spark was no longer there.

In the very beginning I simply skipped over those boring posts. As they’d become a bit same old, same old to me. At the end, I removed them all, in one stroke. Now my feeds look cleaner and tidier.

Imagine someone keeps telling you the same old story over and over again. If it’s a good news, you may feel happy for them at first. But later, when you hear it long enough, it’ll start to sound like a broken record. Likewise, if it’s something a bad news, you may feel sorry for them at first. But later, when you hear it too often, you will start to feel a bit numb.

When I was working in the city CBD, I noticed most people just couldn’t care less about the homeless people or beggars on the street or outside a mall. Not that they had no sympathy towards them. They got desensitised. It’s sad but true, it’s same bunch of people sitting there day in day out, nothing has changed. We get used to seeing them this way.

Fortunately or unfortunately, our brain is biased. In this day and age, information overload is the norm. When a news repeatedly filters through to our head space during the day, our attention span will only get shorter and shorter. Consequently it will no longer touch us.

It’s no wonder someone like me has become very selective. To make sure my listeners or followers stay engaged, focused and interested, it’s important to keep the stuff I share original. The best cure for boredom is creativity.

And the last word? Repeat after me. Say it once, not twice: We are only humans. We get desensitised…

The pandemic has turned many lives upside down. In the past few months we’ve seen new vaccines start to roll out and are made available to the general public in some parts of the world. But will life return to normal again? That’s everyone’s guess.

Collectively, if the community is safe, we’re all safe. We know how quickly community transmission can spread. Especially those cases with no known source, that’s what makes health authorities nervous.

Fortunately, as I write this, our state NSW has hit a new record – 28 consecutive days of no locally acquired coronavirus cases. That’s a good news. Having said that, we also know there’s no place for complacency at this stage. The results we’ve already seen are the second or third wave of the coronavirus wrecking the previous efforts, causing governments to re-impose more lockdowns, in an attempt to stop a growing number of new cases.

While we’re eager to see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s more important than ever to look after ourselves – physical health and mental health. Be kind, reach out and support the local community. Now is the time to bounce back!

Easier said than done. But where do we begin? That’s where the concept of Love Local comes in. It’s simple: Live locally, shop locally.

Recently I had a chance to explore the neighbourhood and I was amazed to discover some cool places near where I live. Not all of them I knew existed. It was quite a fun experience. A few days later, I decided to go back and make a video out of it. Crazy huh?

If interested, below is the link to the video on my YouTube channel. I’ve literally just posted it. The total length is a little bit over 3 minutes. It’s short and sweet. I hope you enjoy it!

Lastly, wherever you reside in, I encourage you to spend time to get to know your area. You might be surprised to find a hidden gem just around the corner.

Take care.

Ted

Are you ready to fly solo? The idea may scare some people off, but for me, it’s freedom.

I guess it’s to do with my personality. Being an introvert, I feel free, comfortable, alive and energised when I am by myself. When I looked back, It’s no surprise that I got my creative juices flowing when I was in a state of solitude.

For some reason, there seems to be a few misconceptions around about introverts, that they are less likely to take risks compared with people who are more extroverted by nature. I don’t wish to start a fight between introverts and extroverts or anything in between. I think personality may play a part, small or big, but it doesn’t matter who you are, because at the end of the day, it’s really about whether you have the guts to bear the consequences of your own actions.

Without doubt, it takes courage to put your stuff out to the world. Be prepared! Getting zero response at first in normal. As a content creator, later when you start to grow in the creative spaces, getting a mixed bag of responses is all in a day’s work. Sometimes we have to ignore the naysayers. Our job isn’t to shut them up. We can’t anyway. Our job is to keep producing materials that’ll be useful for others.

For now, it’s about getting down to business. Below is a link to my fourth YouTube video. The theme is Be Adventurous.

Every time I come to Balmoral Beach, I tend to stay at the quieter end – less visited by people and away from the crowd. It’s funny, for years I didn’t know it existed until one day I took a bold step to venture into the unfamiliar territory. The results were quite pleasing.

Here, I’ll take you to a few sites where I usually hang out. There’s a personal story to tell in this video but I’ll leave it with the imagination of the viewers. If you watch it till the end, you might see why Balmoral Beach holds a special place in my heart. All in all, I’m just glad to share this video with the audience – wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for watching!

Ted