We already know the importance of washing and sanitising our hands. But today I am going to talk about the opposite – getting my hands dirty.
As I get older and mature, I thought I should be more grounded and settled, I was wrong. I realised, I still get anxious about some little things. As much as they annoy the hell out of me, most are manageable and bearable mundane inconveniences I have to put up with.
Luckily, I am not only getting older, but also getting wiser. What I’ve got better at is my willingness to get my hands dirty and do the “hard” stuff.
4 days ago, I discovered the front gate of my apartment was broken. I thought, “Great! now I can’t close it, anyone can literally walk in and rob me.” OK, I admit, it was not as catastrophic as what my anxiety was trying to persuade me, still, I had a legit reason for feeling unsafe. I was pissed off.
Haven’t I had enough of misery recently? Well, this time, instead of just getting annoyed and getting stuck, I decided to deal with the problem head on. A good rule of thumb is: When you can’t DIY, leave it to the professional.
Long story short, I got to speak with the strata manager that afternoon, then received a confirmation next day saying the matter will be reported to the committee for urgent instructions. While I haven’t been given an indication about the time frame and the process of how and when it will be repaired, but as far as my part is concerned, I’m done for now at least. Magically, I am no longer feeling anxious about it.
What’s the difference? I just care less, less about the way things should be. If the damn gate decides to stay wide open on its own till eventually someone comes and fixes it, let it be.
Fortunately, where there’s a will there’s a way. I’ve found a way of keeping the gate shut temporarily. Not ideal but I will not be held hostage by it. I’ve come to realise, there’s an unknown force in the universe wanting to get you fired up. Maybe it’s all in my head. It wants you to over-react. In fact, it wants you to self sabotage, to sweat and to lose it.
Don’t look for troubles. Let them find you. More often than not, they will and they will arrive announced. When they come knocking on your door, be hospitable, have “fun” with them.
Yes, anxiety loves playing games. It loves playing dirty. Now, armed with this newfound game plan – getting my hands dirty and doing the “hard” stuff, I will say: Game on! Go ahead and make my day!
Ted Tsai 