A grieving process is about learning to love someone all over again, except this time it’s in their absence… Ted Tsai
Exactly five months have passed. I’m still grieving for my dog Jamie. I miss him.
There’s a certain part of the day or night I found a bit difficult to get through. It may sound ultra-silly but I actually don’t want my sadness to go away.
Why not? Because when I feel the pain is also when I feel closest to him.
I have many regrets. I should’ve taken him out more often, I should’ve paid him more attention, I should’ve spent more time with him, I should’ve done more of this and more of that. I feel like a hypocrite. I often lectured myself and sometimes others on the idea of not taking anything for granted. Now looking back on it, I actually took my dog for granted when he was there.
Yesterday when I was checking the Memories section on my Facebook, I saw this old post of mine pop up. It instantly warmed my heart like no others. It was a message I wrote five years ago, about how much my dog meant to me. I read it again and again until I fully absorbed it. Right at the moment, the weight on my shoulders started to come off.
Without a formal qualification, no fancy psychology/psychiatry degree, all he does is eat, play, sleep and shit. But this fellow has changed my life completely and unreservedly… for better. I don’t need to wait till your birthday or any special days to tell you how much you mean to me. With you, every day is like a present. Most of all, you show me love is a verb, not a noun… lick lick xx
I continued to read the old comments beneath posted by my friends. Those words started to click suddenly. How come it’d taken me this long to get it? I must’ve been living on another planet!
I realised, since my dog’s passing, I’ve grown to relate to others on a deeper emotional level. It’s a gift!
Dogs teach us so much that no others can match. They’re still teaching us even when they’re gone…
Years ago before I had Jamie, I was a material boy. I used to hang around shopping centres every weekend, trying to feed my never-ending desire with reckless spending… Then I had him, on the very first day I took him home, my priorities changed, my care factor also changed. It’s continued to this date. Now, it’s nature that feeds me, my creativity and my spirituality.
Dogs have a very short life span compared to humans. On the eve of the 5 month anniversary of Jamie’s passing, I know one thing for sure: Here or not, their love will never expire…
Ted Tsai 