Tag: Life

Neighbours. Love them, like them, loathe them or hate them, they aren’t going to disappear into outer space.

Who are they? They can be people living upstairs/downstairs from you, next to you, opposite to you. They can also be your coworkers, fellow passengers or patrons sitting a few metres away from you in a restaurant or a food court. All in all, they can be either people you already know or complete strangers happen to be around you at a given time.

Neighbours. Good if they behave themselves. Bad if they don’t. It’s not an understatement to say they can turn your day into night and your night into a very long night. Sounds too familiar?! I won’t be surprised if you come up with a big list of bad experiences from somewhere.

Remember last time you travelled on a plane to overseas or other state? When you checked in, did you get to choose where you wanted to sit? Yes? Great! And? Did you get to choose who’d be sitting right next to you? No? Tough! That’s life!

We’ve heard time and time again that some idiots behaved erratically on a plane causing nuisance to other passengers. In some serious cases, cabin crew members or even security guards had to intervene to help resolve the issue. Those idiots are every traveller’s worst nightmare. We can only hope that we don’t come across any of them when we board a plane next time.

C’est la vie! You’re stuck with bad neighbours. Well, it doesn’t have to end there. What can you do about it? It really depends on your personal intolerance and the terms of effects and consequences that come along.

If you know it’s going to be a short term, a one off thing, meaning you won’t have to see them again tomorrow and in the future, you may as well save your breath, shrug it off, put on your headset and go about your own business. Or if possible, walk away from the situation and settle into to a quieter space to avoid any close contacts. All these can be easily done and are within your own control.

What if it’s a long term, an on-going thing? That is, neighbours whom you’ll likely see again and again on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s time to show some assertiveness, time to act and time to get your life back!

I remember how a year ago my parents’ quality of life was affected by the last neighbour living next door. The noise from many late night parties and the music instruments played during the day was insane. In fact, not just my parents, other residents on the whole street had also been affected by it. I didn’t know how bad it was till I was there to experience it myself a few times. Unfortunately, after making numerous complaints to the next door neighbour, still no signs of improvement.

Then on one weekend when I went to visit parents, it happened the next door was hosting another party that Saturday. We all rolled our eyes, gave a big sigh of disbelief and said: Here we go again… As time went by, when it passed midnight and even after 1 AM in the morning, the noise got louder and louder. No number of sealed windows and locked doors could’ve done enough to block out the “pollution”. Realised we’d done all we can (within our power) to stop it, that night I decided that’s it! I’m going to call the police and make a complaint.

I did. Some 30 minutes later, I heard one police car pulling over just outside near our garage driveway. Within a few minutes, the noise level from the next door dropped to almost zero. What a relief! We finally got our peace and quiet back.

Ever since, no more troublemakers, no more tensions, no more noise from the next door neighbour. A few months later, they moved out. Sweet! Now the new neighbour in the same dwelling has been so much easier to deal with.

I went to see my parents last week and already I could feel the marked difference in their quality of life. It’s got so much better.

No one wants to be on bad terms with their neighbours. But when some bad behaviours are crossing the line, becoming more like harassment or even bullying, then it’s a red flag. Enough is enough. You’ve exhausted your options within your power, you’ve taken matters into our own hands. Now what? Ask for help, call the number, and watch this space – your personal space…

These days everyone operates their life on social media like an open book. With many eye-catching photos and captivating stories shared on the platforms around the world, our moves are constantly on the spotlight. To keep up with the pace we’re now at, we have to be constantly on the go and update our whereabouts as they happen. It does feel like another full time job sometimes.

The success of some content creators has led more peeps to try to jump on the bandwagon, in a hope that they’ll one day make a name for themselves.

When popularity and fame are up for grabs, who wouldn’t want to present the best version of themselves to the universe? To pursue those images, some go to great lengths to look sharp, sound smart and do cool things. So much so, have we forgotten hey we’re only humans and we have flaws?

There’s a mundane side of life in which we live rarely gets reported. Maybe it’s not flashy or glamorous enough. But is it about time to strike a balance before our curated pictures strike a likable chord with our followers? The thing is we stuff up, we make boo boos, we make mistakes, we slip up, we take a wrong turn, we screw up, we fuck up, we relapse… All these describe one thing – humans make errors, lots! It’s normal. It’s only abnormal when we think it’s not normal to show it.

Want to try it out? What’ll happen if people go and reveal their imperfect self to audience or readers out there? You know, those things that have been airbrushed or kept under the carpet? Shortcomings, vulnerability, weaknesses and things that didn’t go according to plan or something that you tried and failed a couple of times!

Once the “secret” is out, everyone kind of knows. So what’s next? You aren’t seen as someone as perfectly portrayed before. Is it going to be the end of the world? Not quite!

In my case, you have no idea how many times after each posting, I thought: What have I done? What on earth?! Why did I want to tell everyone about that for? I felt silly expressing myself so openly but part of me still went along regardless. Over time, I could feel my skin is getting thicker and thicker. At least, I’ve been true to myself and to my word. The bottom line is simple: My wish is to inspire and to make a difference through “true” story telling.

Then just the other day I was at home watching a documentary film about an organic farmer and his field. Asked why he’s doing it the hard/organic way instead of the conventional/artificial way, he responded: Everyone needs to be a fool at least once in their life time. It’s stuck with me since! I could really understand a profound meaning behind that… Can you?

More more more, big big big. The more the better, the bigger the better. Don’t mind if some say the more you have, the more you have to maintain. Just give me more!

When do you know it’s enough? For me, I didn’t know when till I got my hands and feet dirty.

On this overcast Sunday, we came to this beautiful affluent beach suburb for a walk. Like before I was amazed by many large luxurious houses along the way. Looking at the sizes, I couldn’t help but wondered: Gee! How did they make it? Of course my amazement wasn’t unfounded or baseless. I’ve been paying my home loan for years, I know how hard it is to make ends meet.

Well, perhaps there’s nothing to envy. Didn’t they say: a big house, a big mortgage? But surely it doesn’t apply to everyone. I’m so intrigued. What do they do for living? Are they all doctors? accountants? lawyers or some CEOs of major players in town? Or are they a bunch of lucky people?

The funny thing is, even on a bright sunny day, I noticed most of those big houses had their blinds or curtains completely shut. What’s the point? Juts blocking the sunlight from the windows? Or something deeper is going on? Is it a case of the more you have, the more you feel insecure and the more you’re afraid to lose it?

Of course, we didn’t come here to watch people’s houses. The nearby by bush reserve is what we were after.

The weather changed quite rapidly from a cloudy morning to a rainy afternoon in a matter a few hours. When we were done with our walk, I was wet, full of dirt, sand and mud, so was my dog James. OK I admit I tempted fate but hey no regrets!

Looking at myself in that state, I didn’t really care about living in a big house with huge yards, a large garage, two grand bathrooms, a giant swimming pool etc. I was just happy to be back in my own doggy place, bathed my dog and had a comfy hot shower myself. Best of all, I finished the day with great comfort of knowing my little humble home is good enough (and big enough) for me…

I’m a man of contradictions. Sometimes I can even hold it against myself. Sounds weird huh?

I don’t like any types of confrontation. So uncomfortable that I’d avoid it if I could. However, when a situation warrants it and requires me to act or speak out, I don’t hesitate. I guess this is one of contradictions that I can call upon myself all the time.

This unparalleled courage often just comes through effortlessly. I don’t need to summon it up or make an extra effort to bring it all out. What drives me is my intuition, a natural instinct. I wish I could switch it off just like that. But too bad! I was born with it. I won the genetic lottery. I hit the jackpot. It’s in my DNA. But I came out the womb this way for a reason.

Years ago Dad told me that an unwillingness to disguise my feelings is a major downfall and will seriously hinder my chances of success in life. In retrospect, maybe he got a point. But back then I thought he was too old school, so I never listened to him or bought into his theory, purely out of stubbornness. Admittedly, it was my ego speaking most of time. Now older and wiser, I’m supposed to be that all rounder person right? Haha, far cry from it. I wonder if I’ll ever grow up one day.

I’m still that person who wears his heart on his sleeve. Perhaps it’s not always a smart thing to do – let your feelings show. All emotional intelligence experts would possibly agree and tell you the ability to manage your emotions is your ticket to many good things in life, like gaining a job promotion or building an intimate relationship. I’m convinced!

In politics, they often say: just put up or shut up. For me, I say: stand up! The ability to get back up again after a fall or speak your mind and have your voice heard or write about your journey and share it with the world audience would really be what I call a success in life, in my book that is…

We capture various moments in life through lenses, then curate and edit them to look beautiful and flawless. Bingo! The job is done. A final version is ready. We can’t wait to showcase it to the world.

While we focus on documenting our latest movements in every step of the way, have we forgotten to live it instead? Now distractions are just about everywhere. People affected by it are on the rise. Many experts have said that social media is often to blame. But if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s just a scapegoat, it’s us made it that way.

When was the last time you ever sat down and had a proper meal without bowing to any other stimuli? Can you remember? Or does it feel like a distant memory already?

A couple of days ago I had a business lunch with a group of four associates in a nearby 5-star hotel. It was organised a month beforehand by the hotel’s Director of Sales and Marketing to show appreciation for my on-going support. Being invited to an event like this, I was very much looking forward to it.

We met up in the lobby first, then were taken to one of the reserved tables in the restaurant upstairs. When we got there, they kindly offered me to sit at the head of the table. I gratefully accepted it.

The waiter who came to serve us was gentle and polite. He pulled my chair out and let me sit comfortably. From that moment on, I felt like I was treated like a VIP. You don’t call it a 5 star hotel for nothing.

After we all sat down, I put my phone down on one side of the table roughly one elbow away from my eyesight. I think I was the only guy who had the phone in sight. All others had their phones tucked away somewhere.

At all times we were totally engaged in the conversation. None of us were distracted by other things around us except when the bright sunlight was streaming through the windows, hurting one of the guests’ eyes, only then we had to stop and ask the waiter to adjust the blinds to bring them down. Other than that, we were 100% present in our interaction.

Later when the waiter brought me the entrée and the main course I’d ordered, I was so impressed with the presentation. They looked too good to eat! No, wasn’t me. I’m not one of those Facebook users who’d be quick to reach for their phone and take a few photos. None of us was tempted. We just left our phones alone and carried on our talks and simply enjoyed the food. Must say it tasted very delicious. Just what I needed.

It was amazing how nearly 2 hours of lunch went by just like that. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun. Needless to say, I loved every minute of it, didn’t want it to stop. But hey some of us had to go back to work…

Do you must know? Do you must have the answers to those questions, right here right now?

It’s a big ask, isn’t it?

Let’s face it. It’s not the future’s fault. It’s just doing its job – to be unknown. Stop bothering the future, leave it alone, leave it where it is. Take a small step one second, one minute, one hour and one day at a time, instead.

There you go. You get your hands dirty, you plant the crops to the best of your ability. You time well, you give your 100%, you do whatever humanly can. You have a wealth of knowledge and skills in the field. Still, there’s no guarantee. The rest is up to Mother Nature or Father Nature or whatever greater than you. You’re at her/his mercy in all sorts of conditions. You remain optimistic under any circumstances, hope for a bumper harvest in the coming season but you have NO say, NO control over the final outcome.

What on earth am I mentioning about growing crops here?

I still remember those job seeking days. When I was very unsure, farmers/growers are the group of people whom I drew inspirations from for dealing with my own uncertainty and insecurity. You just get up, live through the unknown, find a better way and try again. It was this mindset that helped me get through those tough times.

That was then in early 2013. I was at the career crossroads and in the midst of midlife crisis. The only thing that was known to me when I woke up every morning was nothing but the unknown. Then later I realised whatever I want to know about tomorrow, time will tell in a matter of 24 hours. It’s today that takes us there into tomorrow, the future. Isn’t it about time to give credit to today it so well deserves?

No matter what the future holds, I already have this experience under my belt. That’s all I know and that’s enough for me to know…