Tag: Life

I’ve been a try-hard. That’s the thing. After a long shot, you come to realise that you’ve barked up the wrong tree or the timing just wasn’t right, it was working against you.

What else do you do? Keep trying? What about letting your hair down a bit and doing something different?

This is when the power of walk comes in.

I started taking bush walks and coastal walks around 10 years ago. I’ve literally done hundreds of them since. It’s a great way to rejuvenate and recharge batteries when life sucks.

In the very beginning, I used it as a therapy to heal my heartache from the breakdown of my last relationship. Over time it became my weekend ritual. It automatically ingrained in my sub conscience, without effort – I don’t have to plan, I don’t have to think. Sundays, when housework is done. I’m out and about.

Manly beach, one of the most famous beaches in Sydney, was my top choice that Sunday afternoon. The sea breeze provided an instant comfort while we were walking on the way to Shelley beach –  a smaller, quieter beach.

Once got there, I was so drawn to the catchy music near by. I went a little further to find out what was going on.

There I was, at a park adjacent to the beach, I saw a young female DJ. I decided to walk up to her.

“Hey, nice music, makes me wanna dance” I said. “Thank you, this is my kinda music, come and join us if you like” she responded. I hesitated… then I saw a couple of guys in their group waving at me, I thought why not so I went over. Straight away I sensed a good vibe around them – friendly & welcoming.

DJ, new friends, sun, beach, music and dance all in one place, this is definitely my kinda thing…

There’ll come a time when giving your 100% won’t necessarily mean you’ll receive 100% back. Count yourself lucky if you get any. For me, walking away from “trying too hard” and going back to basics before going back to civilization is a good way to finding clarity. This is something I often have to remind myself of…

I remember a fantastic episode of a science program Catalyst on ABC five years ago. It was one of those well-made TV documentaries – entertaining and educational, once you watch it, it’ll stick with you for a long time.

According to the report’s findings, the number of friends we have is determined by our DNA…

What?! Wait! DNA?! Really?! Seriously?!

Well, no joke. Since it was born out of scientific studies, not some kind of fiction or opinion, I had no reasons for doubting it.

On reflection, my own SMALL circle of friends. What can I say? It hasn’t changed much if anything at all in the last five years or so. Should I try a bit harder? Perhaps not. Am I comfortable with the number of friends I have? Absolutely.

Let’s face it, in this date and age, having more friends equates more fame and more popularity. Who wouldn’t want more of them? The fact is, friends come friends go, whether we like it or not.

Two weeks ago, it was one of those days I felt the need to spring clean my life. Again, easier said than done. Where should I start?

To get the ball rolling, I went to check the stuff in my closet, hesitated. Just give it a break – I mumbled. I already gave away a few clothes to charity the other day. I wasn’t too keen on doing more of it. Then somewhere along the line, on the spur of the moment, I don’t know where I got it from but I heard a voice in my head saying: What about tidying up the friend list on my Facebook account?

Part of me protested. No, I need them there to make my numbers look good. No, they don’t bother me. No, what would they think if I removed them?

Just do it! Sweet Heart. Just freaking do it. Dear.

I did. I took ten friends off the list.

Then there came the infamous break up line: It’s not you, it’s me. Whether it’s that or the other way around. It doesn’t matter. No one cares. Even if they do, they’ll move on very quickly.

After saying sayonara, ciao, bye bye and adios to those friends whom I no longer connect with, there’s been zero impact on my life, at least on the social media front.

If you also buy into the idea of “the number of friends we have is determined by our DNA”, then you’ll find easy to let go of:

• The need to be liked or accepted by someone
• The need to please people

Most importantly, you’ll be totally OK with:

• Being who you are

Time to crunch the numbers: friends, old friends, new friends, no more, no less…

They say: Fight fire with fire. Well, try to apply it to negative people, it may fuel them even more and backfire. The point is? Don’t feed the monster!

A friend of mine once said to me: Negative people are like bad smell, better stay away from them fast. I laughed in agreement.

Since then I have been paying close attention to what’s around me – the environment, the people, even the words I say, to ensure I don’t become a minus. The point is? Negativity is contagious.

Not surprisingly, this has led me to discover something interesting about human nature – the loudest is often the weakest. One important thing to note here is eyes never lie…

So, don’t believe those things they say about a sensitive person. We aren’t all nothing but a drama queen. The truth is: When putting our sensitivity to good use, we can easily detect all kinds of smell AND be the first to exercise the power of walking away!

The point is? Sniff sniff before they make you sneeze sneeze…

Taking a dog out means sometimes we’re restricted to several public places. No hard feelings, I understand.

On a very rare occasion both Jamie (my dog) and I were allowed in an audience area, but we were at popular dog friendly Manly (Sydney) beach anyway.

We enjoyed watching Cheerleading Championships with family on Sunday afternoon exactly 3 years ago. These young people were truly amazing. To push the body beyond its limits like that, they must’ve done lots of hard work behind scenes.

What struck me most is a good mix of male and female competitors among the groups. It was a refreshing change. After all, cheerleading had been one of the female dominated sports for as long as I could remember. Of course, to this day, it’s still the case.

Wait! Before I go on any further, have I just heard someone say cheerleading isn’t a sport?

Well, my position is anything that’ll help break male stereotypes, count me in!

It’s funny, way before we were born, we had already been conditioned to and moulded into some certain types by our carers. They included the colours of clothing chosen by our parents, the kinds of toys we were given to play with and the roles we were expected to grow into in the family, at school, at work and in the society in later years.

Generation after generation, stereotypes about people were formed and passed down. Ideas about gender were generalised and portrayed in the media, in our head and in all corners of the world.

Under this framework, spoken or unspoken, written or unwritten, if you are someone who fits in with a particular group, you are welcome as part of the tribe, but if you are someone who doesn’t fit in with the group, you are seen as a black sheep at best or at worst as an outcast. Whichever happens, it can be a very lonely place to be.

The question is, how do you to break stereotypes and free yourself from it?

To bring the under-represented self to the table, my take is: It’s your niche, keep on doing what you’ve been doing.

If you’re someone who loves cooking and you want to be a master chief instead of a doctor as perceived by others, go and put on your favourite apron, keep on polishing your signature dishes and learning new skills required to be a top cook like no others.

If you’re someone who loves playing a musical instrument and you want to be a music producer instead of an engineer as perceived by others, go and practice, practice and practice necessary skills required to be at the helm and write as many musical notes as possible to shout out the noises, gossips and critics from the outside world.

Others can form as many stereotypes about you as they like, but realistically you don’t have time to break them all. So, don’t waste your time on that.

Conversely, do not stereotype stereotypes. It may sound a bit abstract, but I think you get the idea. Fight fire with fire may backfire. When a stereotype is created out of the norm, it’s an indication we simply don’t know any better at a given time.

One last thing to note, breaking stereotypes is about proving yourself right, not about proving others wrong. Now, that’s my type…

What comes to your mind when you hear the word mediocre?

Average? Below average? Not too good? Not too bad? So so? Just OK? 50 50?

All in all, there’s a negative connotation attached to it. That’s no surprise. Why? If you look it up in an English dictionary, you’ll see why.

In terms of word origin, derives from French via the Latin, mediocre literally means halfway up the mountain.

For the sake of argument, if you reached the midpoint of the world highest mountain Himalaya, would you call yourself an average achiever? That’s whopping over 4000 km above sea level! Mediocre in this context, in any language is no average at all. In fact, for that kind of height, it’s considered to be a peak in many countries no matter what yardsticks you use.

Let’s face it, whatever goals we set out to achieve, big or small, the size doesn’t matter, we’ll always feel a mountain of work in front of us anyway. If the first step is hard enough, let alone finish midway.

Funny we often celebrate for having taken the very first step, but we disapprove of ourselves for getting there halfway? Shouldn’t we even have a bigger celebration to mark the effort?

Mediocrity, whichever angle we look at it from, it’s an accomplishment in itself. It may not be something you want to rave about, but at the “core” of it, lies in your ability to get to the top. You’re already halfway! Congrats!

Next time I hear the word mediocre again? I’ll take it as a compliment…

Words hurt. Words heal. Words can limit you. Words can also un-limit you.

The importance of word choice has been so widely discussed that it needs no further explanations or elaborations. I’ll save my breath here.

Asking questions is another art form of words. It’s also one of surefire ways to gain some clarity about things we’re curious about.

A change in word order or “question order” however opens up a new set of opportunities for seeing things or yourself in a different light, only for better.

When asked: How is life treating you? We accept it’s a fair, ordinary, everyday type of question. But if you shift around and rearrange it to: How are you treating life? And? How do you feel? Now you’re in charge of your life…

This tranquil setting within a little-known reserve provides a temporary escape from a busy life outside. We came here on Sunday afternoon to enjoy the peace & quiet.

It’s a secret haven for me. A place where I can recharge batteries after a flat out crazy week in a corporate world.

Right here, you can’t help but want to slow down. When it comes to meditation, I’m not good at focusing on breath in and breath out that kind of thing. My mind wanders like a dog off a leash. Somehow, having a free will doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll set you free.

Interestingly enough though, at a bush site like this, I rarely think about the past nor the future. Living in the moment is a must. Meaning you have to watch your step. If you don’t, you are bound to hit your toes or trip over…

The less obvious, the more intriguing.

Curiosity led me to discover this track to a secret Lagoon. Yes, I got lost in the middle but that was part of fun.

I love exploring the unknown because the novelty that comes along with it just never wears off. Again, I shared this moment with my little one Jamie…

Now, I’m sharing it with my readers. What are you curious about?

More often than not, I’m let down by own expectations. But when it comes to curiosity, I’m more likely to be surprised than disappointed.

There’s something about curiosity I can’t quite resist. Looking back at those so called hidden treasures I stumbled across, it wasn’t a map or a GPS or a guidebook, but curiosity that helped find my way…

Google chose their APAC headquarters to be based in Singapore rather than in Taiwan and elsewhere in Asia. Why do you think that is?

To be successful on the global stage, you must have a great command of English. If you don’t, you can forget about it. In that, Singapore outperforms the rest of Asia.

If you’ve ever studied a foreign language, then you probably already know the challenges and frustration that come with it.

So, what does it take to get your message across in a different tongue? Why do some countries do so well while others don’t?

In reference to English as a second language, today I learned that Taiwan, my birth country, ranked poorly (scored “low”) on the English Proficiency Index (EPI) 2018 released by English First (EF). Standing uncomfortably at the 48th place worldwide out of 89 non-English-speaking countries, this disappointing result was Taiwan’s worst over the last 8 years, dropped from the 40^th place in 2017, the 2^nd worst record in history.

With the next index due to be released on 05 November 2019, I’m very keen to find out how much worse it can get!

So, what needs to be done to increase the level of literacy and overall linguistic skills in English for Taiwan? Not that there’s a lack of focus or support from Taiwanese authorities, schools and parents. In fact, there’s plenty. But relying solely on an existing curriculum or external support network will not help students go far enough, because they have their own limitations, and this is true for any countries.

From a personal experience, it was the extra time and effort invested outside the school hours that helped me make a difference. Back in the day, I used to listen to the English broadcast on the radio to improve my listening and speaking skills. I also hired personal tutors (who were native English speakers) and went to private English classes in the evening.

I remember how I usually sat in a front row of the classroom acting like a top student. I just grabbed any opportunities I could to practice my English and ask a lot of questions.

Having a bit thick skin allowed me to keep my fears under control. Some common fears such as fear of being laughed at, fear of being called a show-off and fear of making mistakes weren’t simply in my vocabulary! To this day, I’m still the same person who loves learning new words and phrases.

With the convenience of internet everywhere, there’s really no shortage of external learning resources. So, to thrive, it all boils down to “inside job”. What? Inside job? Don’t freak out. By that I mean working on it internally to acquire language skills or any skills for that matter.

Lastly, confidence doesn’t come from self-talk, it comes from self-practice. It may not be as easy as ABC in the beginning but with practice, practice and practice, the results will soon speak for themselves…

You think you’re safe just because you don’t look for trouble? Think again! The trouble is… trouble will find you.

Yes, people stuff up, systems break down. Just another form of drama you don’t need but it pops up anyway. That’s life! Yes, shit happens. It stinks. It happens faster than you think. It happens faster than you can prepare for.

The setting: After a week long break, Sunday night it was me sitting in the bathtub trying to fix a broken tap.

A few hours passed, there was still no sign of progress. It became quite clear that it was going to be a long night. The thought of it just added more pressure to what already a stressful situation.

What about tomorrow? I had to go to work. My heart sunk as I started to feel more agitated and tense. Then came the infamous line: Why did it even happen? Why now? Why me?! – I lamented as I watch the clock ticking.

Well into the evening, out of desperation I called my brother for assistance. I also rang my electrician to see if he knows any good plumbers around. In between, I also did a bit Google Search trying to learn some quick DIY tips. Lastly, I called my boss and told him that I can’t make it tomorrow.

3 AM in the morning, I was still awake, still dealing with the same problem. I sat on the floor looking at the mess, I thought: Why should I feel grateful even when shit happens?

My Sunday night was ruined. I had to take a day off work. I still had to figure out what to do. There was no guarantee the situation would improve the next day.

I closed my eyes, took a step back and allowed myself to sink in a bit. A sense of gratitude started to emerge out of nowhere…

• Who was there to open the door to see me at mid night – my brother.
• Who was there to answer my call outside trading hours on Sunday evening – my electrician.
• Who was there to tell me it’s OK, not to worry if I can’t come to work tomorrow – my boss.
• Who was there to sit quietly and let me work on the issue alone – my dog.

Why should I be grateful even when shit happens? I’ve pretty much answered my own question…