Tag: Life

Complacency is supposed to give us a peace of mind or some self satisfaction, but often there’re twists and turns behind unfinished business. Life never ceases to surprise us in its mysterious way. You’ll never know what’s around the corner.

It’s not done till it’s done.

Funnily enough, what comes to mind when I think of complacency is basketball games. Skills are important of course, there’s no argument about it. But that thing aside, at the end what separates a winner and a loser in the court is complacency.

Say, when a team is leading by a good margin 5 minutes before the game finishes, if they think it’s in the bag and begin to show sign of complacency. It’s a red flag. It can all go downhill from there. As long as their opponent perseveres unrelentingly till the last second, they can still turn the tables, and come out as a dark horse, a winner.

Lately, we’ve seen a massive second wave of coronavirus outbreak after an easing of pandemic restrictions in many parts of world. In the state of Victoria in Australia, it came as a big blow when a surge of people infected resurfaced in the last two weeks or so. At one point, the number of daily new cases even broke the record.

Evidently, the time we loosened up and acted carelessly, it was also the time when the coronavirus found the opportunity to slip through the cracks and launched a sudden attach. We don’t want our complacency to become a breeding ground for the coronavirus to regrow and wipe out our previous efforts that led to flattening the curve.

It’s safe to say, the worst is not over yet. We’re all in this together for the long haul. There’s really no place for complacency in any shape or form.

We can’t wait for life to return to normal again. When will it happen? It’s a big ask. No experts can tell you exactly. For now, rather than being complacent prematurely, let’s make efforts, every step of the way, till it’s done and dusted, ripe for celebration…

No, I didn’t get the job. I was one of the top 5 but wasn’t “good” enough to be in the top 2 for the final round. That’s life. C’est la vie.

What’s the point of posting this then? To win a sympathy vote from your readers?

I’m posting this because I wanted myself not to forget this experience – my humble beginnings. It may sound odd or silly but in a way I’m glad I didn’t succeed too quickly.

Think about it, failure is a nickname for success, a part of sustainable living! If you’ve failed 10 times, it means you’ve got back up again and again 10 times. Be proud of yourself.

Sure, a winner takes all, but a loser gives all. Yes, it’s about winning but more so, it’s about showing up and giving your 100%, more than once!

What now? It’s time to go back to the drawing board and start from a blank page afresh.

Rest assured, your past efforts aren’t wasted, they’re stored and reserved for improvement.

Make or break? It’s OK if you don’t make it, at least you break it – your own record, your personal best… That’s winning!

2020, let’s face it, the world is a mess.

Haven’t we seen enough of job loss, economic downturn, social instability and political unrest? It doesn’t just stop there. Encompassing everyday struggles and personal issues, no wonder people are stressed out.

When I walk down to the shops in my local area, there’s a strange vibe in the air. The atmosphere is markedly different now. While governments are gradually easing restrictions, returning to normal is still some distance away. These days people are wary and guarded everywhere they go. Hand sanitisers, social distancing and hygiene practice have become the new norm.

We’re all trying to remain sane and safe in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Sure, we’re only human, we can only take so much. We get anxious about the future, our job, our bank account and our health. Some have started to show abnormal reaction or over-reaction overtly or behind closed doors, it’s understandable. But under no circumstances, bad behaviour can be excused.

Why have I just said that?

Friday night. Done with my grocery shopping. As I was returning a shopping trolley to the trolley station near the entrance to the supermarket, all of sudden a guy from behind, pushed a trolley hard against my legs. It was a deliberate act, he did it on purpose. In no way it was an accident. The force was so big that it caused my left ankle to bruise immediately. I was screaming in pain.

Who the hell? I looked back. There he was – That idiot, a middle aged male with a grin on his face, showing zero remorse, giving no apology, acting like as if nothing had happened then walked off.

I was carrying 4 bags of grocery in my arms, feeling tired and hungry. I just wanted to go home. I had a decision to make – Either count myself unlucky, ignore him and leave or deal with it.

One witness who came forward was kind enough to ask if I’m OK. I said, I’m alright, fortunately, it’s not bleeding but it’s bruising. With his encouragement, I decided to pursue the matter further. I wasn’t going to let that idiot get away with it just like that.

Excuse me! I yelled as I was trying to call that idiot out. He noticed I wasn’t giving up, took a look at me and said a few words that I didn’t quite hear exactly but certainly it wasn’t a sorry I was hoping for. By the look of his face and body language, I could tell that he was not apologetic, worse yet, he was still wearing the same grin on his face.

Later, I went to speak to a couple of store staff about this incident. With my persistence, the matter was escalated to the store manager.

As I was explaining to the store manager about the incident, I was at the height of my emotion. I was reasonably calm and polite but very firm in my language. I demanded that idiot to be banned from their store. By then, that idiot was already at one of the self-serve check outs finalising his purchase.

The store manager was one fine gentleman, he exhibited a high degree of empathy towards me, apologised for what had happened, he even apologised on that idiot’s behalf.

I told him that as a store, they’re not responsible for an individual’s erratic behaviour as such but they do have responsibility to ensure safety and security of their shoppers while on the premises. I insisted that idiot should be stopped and spoken to. His wrongdoing, that kind of behaviour will not be accepted in their store and anywhere. The store manager promised he’ll speak with him. For my own safety, I agreed not to be present by his side and just let him deal with that idiot.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt there was still an unfinished business from the night before. So I decided to call the supermarket to find out if that idiot was spoken to. As the store manger was off duty till later in the evening, I ended up speaking with the second in charge – the duty manager. A long story short, he promised that he’ll personally follow up with the store manager, call me and let me know. He’ll also raise a safety issue in their next meeting and discuss about having a signage put up around the store.

Then, around 9:55 PM before the store shut their door at 10 PM, I got a call from the store manager. He assured to me that he did speak with that idiot about the incident. According to the store manager, that idiot had a bad day. He knew what he did was wrong, he was remorseful and apologetic for the harm he’d caused. It will not happen again.

Soon after the call ended, I felt a great sense of relief mixed with gratitude and achievement. Now that idiot took note of my loud-and-clear message: Bad behaviour will not be tolerated. For me, it was time to move on… 

How well do you know your neighbours? Do you say hello when you see them? Or do you look away and pretend they don’t exist?

It’s the third time that I have this kind of conviction. When an emergency arises, who are you going to call? The closest people around aren’t necessarily always your colleagues, friends or family but believe or not – your neighbours.

DIY to save money and the hassle? It depends. It’s so true that some things are best left with the experts. I remember 5 years ago, the electricity in my unit went off completely. The outage occurred not due to some natural cause but a faulty switch which I tried to fix it myself. Silly me!

Relying on the only source of power – my smart phone, I managed to find my way in the dark, called my brother and asked two neighbours of mine for assistance. Before I got the problem resolved, their help in the interim proved to be so invaluable.

Through my brother, I got hold of an electrician named Gregor that night. I’ve known him for years. He’s one of those guys – No problem is too big or too small for him. The fact that he could come over on such a short notice, I was very grateful for that. His 5 star service and humble character impressed me once again. What a life saver! 

What’s next? The more recent case saw me getting into a sticky situation, it was almost embarrassing. Two weeks ago, I locked myself out of my apartment after taking the rubbish out in the garage room near the main road. It was almost midnight, cold and dark. Most people would already be in bed that time of the night. Poor me! I was still outside my door, standing alone with a set of keys in my hand. No matter how hard I tried, the key just wouldn’t turn. To not make the situation worse, I decided to ask for help. But ask who?

For the convenience, I thought of the neighbour on my left. I peeked over the side but couldn’t see anything other than the blinds and the lights in the living room. Well, at least the lights were still on. Should I or shouldn’t I? I had no time to think. I rang the bell hoping someone would come and answer the door. A minute passed, it was quiet with no sign of movement. Just when I thought it was going to be a long night, I heard the sound of footsteps coming towards my way. There he was – my new neighbour! I was half relieved to say the least!

I’m sorry to bother you but… do you think you might have WD-40 lubricant by any chance? The lock on my door is stuck for some reason – I asked politely. Hmm… He paused for a second, the look on his face showed some hopefulness, then I saw him walk back in to check. A minute or two later, he came with a can of lubricant similar to WD-40. Yes! I cheered inside.

Just one spray was all it took. That missing clicking sound I so desperately wanted to hear was back. The next thing I knew, the door was unlocked and re-open in front of me! I was overjoyed.

Home sweet home. I kept thanking him for his help, I even commented he’s saved my life. He responded with a smile and a few nice words, before we each retired to our own places.

What can I say? Certainly not everyone is wired about the idea “love your neighbour as yourself”, but at the very least, let’s be civil and be neighbourly. You can never know, one of your neighbours might become your accidental hero one day…

I don’t normally have visitors. Every time I hear the doorbell, I usually feel a bit unnerving about what’s going to happen. Now with the government public health orders in place during the coronavirus outbreak, I have every reason not to welcome any unannounced visitors.

Around two weeks ago someone knocked on my door. Feeling slightly annoyed, I yelled: Who is this? What do you want? Reluctantly, I opened the door. It was the guy – the new neighbour from upstairs standing there.

As he came a little too close to me, I asked him to step back a bit (you know social distancing). He sort of did. A few seconds later his girl friend and a telecom technician also joined him. They explained to me that they had trouble getting broadband access network connected to their unit. As a matter of courtesy, they asked me if OK they could come in and check the cabling on my side.

That really put me on the spot. Their request had nothing to do with me. A. I don’t use that type of broadband (nbn). B. According to the government enforcement information, no household should have visitors during the pandemic. So, as much as I wanted to help, I said No. But for the following 2 minutes, I started to justify myself. Typical me! A people-pleaser. Luckily, He got the point, apologized then left.

After that, I started to rewind the tape in my head and tried to analyse everything. For a minute or two, I was beating myself up. Fortunately, as soon as I caught myself doing that, I quickly stopped the negative self-talk before it had a chance to spiral out of control.

Perhaps because I’m now older and wiser. I’ve come to realize:

When we say No to one thing, we’re in fact saying Yes to another thing. It’s fair to say that we all say Yes and No at the same time. So, go ahead and say No. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate.

A week later, I ran into the guy (I still don’t know what his name is) in the garage while washing my car. To ease the awkwardness, I casually asked him if he’d got their internet connection sorted. He said Yes. Actually, he’s changed the service provider to the same one as mine. A short and sweet response!

What can I say? Saying No is hard and uncomfortable but when we say it with conviction, more often than not, we’re in fact doing ourselves and others a big favour. Knowing saying No is still helping people in some way, I’ve built enough confidence to say No in no time…

Like many of you, I’m home a lot these days.

As an OCD person, housekeeping helps me stay in control of my anxiety. But I also need to remind myself – Don’t go overboard. I remember my shrink said to me: It’s good to be organised but if the ritual becomes a pest, it can be problematic.

Anyway…

Here in the southern hemisphere, another gorgeous day today in Sydney. So lucky, we’ve been blessed with many beautiful sunny days this autumn. I love the fresh smell of sun dried clothes. No artificial fragrance can beat the power of natural sunlight. It’s free and environmentally friendly, too.

After my dog’s passing 2 months ago, I still keep all his stuff in the house. Everything is “business as usual”. For example, his food is still in the cupboard, his toys are still in the basket. As for his bed, I now place it on my bed instead of the floor. It gives me a great sense of belonging and comfort. At night when I go to sleep, I feel as if he’s very closed to me.

The other day I was sorting my dog’s toys before washing them. Most of them were in a good condition except for his favourite one which had lots of wear and tear. Now he’s gone, everything he had touched holds a sentimental value me. By no means I’d throw it away.

Then, there was one new toy he’d never wanted to play with. I thought: What’s the point of keeping it? So on the spur of the moment, I decided to give it away to charity.

Life goes on. For me, it means there’s something to hold on to, there’s something to let go of.

Yes my dog’s gone but only physically. In many ways he’s very much present in my life. As I’ve been on this spiritual journey, taking a more philosophical approach to life’s ups and downs and unexpected events, I realized, I’m not alone. I’ll carry him with me to the next stage of life wherever it may take us…

Life, to be continued…

Even though I’ve been doing my bit to stay at home during the Coronavirus pandemic, it’s virtually impossible to avoid close contact with other humans. What do you do? Be prepared and stay safe!

A month ago I received a renewal notice for my car registration. By law every car in NSW that is more than 5 years old will need to have a safety check before anything else. Like it or not, it’s mandatory, it’s gotta be done.

To get it out of the way as soon as possible, I booked a car servicing time a week later. I must admit, once the booking was done, I started to feel a little anxious about how they would handle my car.

Thankfully, the technician and the staff in the workshop did an excellent job to ensure that my car is not only safe to drive, but also hygienically clean free from nasty germs and viruses. A plastic protective cover for the driver seat, a protective sheet for the car floor mat, and a disinfectant wipe for the wheel and all that. I was impressed.

Before my car was ready for pick up, I had 3 good hours to myself. It was a beautiful autumn morning, so I thought why not walking down to the nearest Balmoral Beach for some free time.

Surprised and not surprised at the same time, there was no crowd. Just some seniors and a few young families with their kids in the water. As usual I proceeded to the quieter end where my dog Jamie and I used to hang out whenever we came here. Time stood still as those fond memories started to pop up…

We’ve seen how the world has slowed down on many fronts due to the Coronavirus outbreak but it hasn’t stopped by any means, and the hard fact is it won’t pause because of your personal stories, no matter how touching they are. It’s human nature… Over time, people do become desensitised.

Having gone through some of toughest times in my life after losing my job and my dog, I realized, being a good story teller is not enough. I need to be a good change manager, too! But the question is: Where do I start?

A couple of nights ago, I was taking a bath trying to rejuvenate. There you are, in the still of the night, when it’s quiet and calm, when you’re completely naked and alone by yourself. No devices and no noises to distract you, what do you look for?

Oddly enough, those thoughts you struggled to make sense of earlier will start to crystallise one at a time. Right there and then, I asked my dog Jamie a hypothetical question: Had our situations been reversed, what would you do going forward?

Then I heard a voice talking back to me: I would be very sad but I would be very brave, I would lick my wounded heart. I would adjust, I would adapt and I would go on living each day to the best of my ability…

Perhaps it’s a case of having spent too much time at home lately, I’ve come to realisation that I don’t need to have a lot to be happy or feel good enough.

Well, some of you may already know I’m going through really tough times in my life at the moment, after losing my job and my beloved dog Jamie.

The world is a fucking mess right now, perhaps some people out there are doing even tougher than I? I don’t know their faces nor their names, they probably don’t go out in public that much either but it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Washed and ready to go. A week ago, I decided to donate three beautiful Valentino polo shirts to charity. They were given to me as a gift by my cousin when he came to visit my family from Taipei Taiwan many years ago. If I remember correctly, I’d worn one of them once only.

When I take stock of my small humble place, it’s not hard to see some pieces of furniture possibly need a face-lift. Those flaws were from normal wear and tear but some scratch marks on the coffee table, the leather coach and the dinning chairs were caused by guess who? They were a masterpiece of my lovely, naughty Jamie boy of course. Luckily, he’d never shown any interest in my piano.

Gone with the old, in with the new. It says a lot about a materialist like me.

A few years ago, I vowed that one day when Jamie is gone, I’d replace those old pieces of furniture with new ones. Now he’s really gone, it’s funny I have absolutely zero intention to replace them. Instead, I want to keep them all for as long as I live.

The scratch marks, chew marks, bite marks and whatever marks are some of the living memories that I now treasure most. Those so-called flaws in the past today look so beautifully priceless. No one can ever erase them…

Ted

This is one of the reasons why I don’t make plans for the future, not even tomorrow or the weekend.

After only 1 week of employment, I have resigned as Office Manager.

The truth of the matter is I met lots of nice people there. I mean they are really friendly. They made me feel welcome and included. But unfortunately, one toxic person in the team is enough to ruin your day. So, wait no more. I decided it’s time for damage control and to tell them hasta la vista baby, I won’t be back!

Why so soon? Well, I say: Why not! If you can do it right now, why let days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, before it becomes too little too late?

Do you want Money or Sanity? Which one would you choose? Sure, money talks, it may even walk. But only sanity helps you sleep better at night. For me, the answer is clear and simple. I didn’t have to think. I love money but I love sanity even more.

If the worst comes to the worst, one day when I run out of money, I can always sell my stuff, my car, my home but I will never sell my soul.

I left the office around noon yesterday. As I stepped out of the building, I felt free and alive, a weight off my shoulders. Before I got home, I went to spend a few good hours at a local park, just soaking up in the sun and enjoying a free time the first time in a long time. Gee, I really missed being in the sun.

I am a bit over all the anti-bacterial chemical stuff I put on my skin lately. Getting the natural sunshine all over my body works far better for me – the best germ and virus killer.

What now? Crunch time! No doubt some uncertainty, difficulties and challenges ahead of course. But often at a time like this, that’s when my real strengths start to shine through. I am going straight back to job hunting again. I will also continue to do what I love – writing and some creative projects.

Since Jamie passed away on the 6th of March 2020, I have lost about 5 kilos, that’s more than half of his body weight. I also found myself not wanting to smile or smiling less and less. But after I handed in my resignation yesterday, I noticed I have started to smile at least once again…

Ted 🙂

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but it was just one of those spur of the moment decisions. Yesterday morning right before I got out of bed, I decided: I don’t need a lot of stuff to be happy anymore.

So, without too much thinking, I opened the closet and the clothes drawers in my bedroom, selected 10 ties and 7 shirts from a range of many, I thought it was about time to give them away to charity.

Long story short. The clothing bin at Vinnies near my place was full, so I ended up going further to the Salvos instead. It didn’t appear there was any permanent clothing bin outside the church, so I went in to enquiry about it. The lady in the entrance was kind enough to tell me that I could simply leave my to-be-donated clothes on the floor in one of the rooms further down the corridor. So I did.

Just when I was about to go, that same lady came to me and said: Hey, would you like to join us? I said: No thanks. I am not a church goer. She acknowledged it with a smile. I don’t know why I stayed but I told her that I’m very upset, my dog has passed away. She expressed her sorry then asked if I have a picture of my puppy. I said: Yes, but I can’t talk about him at the moment. Next, she asked me if OK to pray for me. I said: OK.

I must say I was quite moved by the words she said. She prayed to God to bring me hope. She even thanked God for bringing me there. At last, she told me don’t throw away Jamie’s toys and don’t be in a hurry to get another dog, when time is right a new dog will come to me.

How would she know? No idea. I am certainly not planing on getting a new dog now and in the future. But it’s just nice to have someone like her in our community, a total stranger who’s wiling to give you some words of comfort and warmth during tough time, even there is nothing in it for them…