I loved seeing the excitement on my dog’s face every time we were going out for a walk. Even though my home offered him the comfortable surroundings – safety, food and shelter he needed, still, nothing compared to the freshness and liveliness that he could only get from going out and about in the bush or at the beach.
I don’t classify myself as a homebody. I like to strike a balance between time spent at home and time spent outside. But due to the effects of lockdown, somehow, I’m used to the idea of staying home and keeping away from everyone else. Well, it’s a right thing to do anyway.
Life at home is pretty full-on and productive. Oddly enough, my challenge isn’t boredom, but how to slow down and do less. Many times I found myself burning the midnight oil, just because I was in the zone, doing things I enjoyed – painting, drawing, writing, editing videos, dancing, exercising etc. With no shortage of home stuff to keep me occupied, busy and mentally stimulated, I’m pretty self-sufficient when it comes to entertaining and educating myself.
Having said that, I’m only human. We are all social animals. There’s only so much you can do in your own company. At times when I feel like connecting with family or friends, I either go speaking with my mum on Skype or go online to check friends’ posts on Facebook. I’m home alone but I’m not alone in a sense.
During lockdown, I only go out for two reasons – doing grocery shopping and driving my car around neighbourhood. Lately I’ve noticed I got a minor anxiety one or two days before I started to do these types of things. Not surprisingly, it was driven by fear – fear of going out.
It’s scary to see 1000 plus daily cases in our state NSW in the last two weeks or so. Fortunately, where I live this part of Sydney is very safe – there’s been no reported cases since this wave of pandemic began in June. To say this to someone like me who’s afraid of stepping outside at the moment, it does provide some degree of comfort.
Pleasingly, our state is fast approaching the magic number – 70% of adult population fully vaccinated. It’s estimated we will reach the target in around mid October. Following that, a range of freedoms will be given to fully vaccinated people. I look forward to that.
I don’t know if my fear of going out is only temporary. Perhaps it will go away by itself as soon as Sydney’s Freedom Day arrives on our doorstep. But regardless, I do know there’s only one cure for fear – face it…
Ted Tsai 