The week has gone by both quickly and slowly in several aspects. It has been 9 days since Jamie passed away, 3 days since I started my new job.
When Lynda, my former colleague said to me that being made redundant is one of the best things that has ever happened to her, I was not totally convinced. I did try to adopt this philosophical approach to my own situation but only in hindsight was I able to see the profound meaning behind it.
A few days ago, I started to practice gratitude and apply it to my life. Now I realise redundancy was a blessing in disguise. Since losing my job, I had entire 5 weeks, day and night to spend with Jamie. Then, unexpectedly this thing happened, I had a choice to make. Letting him go is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. I would rather bear the pain of losing him for the rest of my life than seeing him in pain for another 24 hours.
On Wednesday night, I went to pick up Jamie’s ashes from the vet. While there, I also got everything I wanted to clarify clarified. At last, he is home again. No one can ever take him away from me. How lucky I was to have had Jamie in my life. From the day when I took this 2 month old puppy home till the day when I let him go at 13. This tiny, fluffy fellow gave his whole life to me. I am grateful for that.
Looking at this shape I am in, I can not imagine if I was still siting in front of my computer preparing for job applications. I am grateful for the fact I have a job to go to when I wake up in the morning.
The love and support from my friends and family has been amazing. Especially my mum, she came to visit me last Sunday night to make sure I was OK. On Tuesday we then went bush walking together. I was meant to take Jamie there that day he passed away but never had the chance again. So she came to complete the walk on Jamie’s behalf. What can I say? I am the luckiest number 1 son in the world…
Ted Tsai 