Tag: Writing

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Let’s Spread Kindness

Two weeks ago I had a need to go to the city CBD. It was the first time since I left my job in March. I was there for a potential employment opportunity so it was hard to say No.

A few days before taking the trip, I was at home feeling quite anxious and worried. I didn’t know what to expect. The once familiar bus commute now comes with a new twist – social distancing and wearing a mask.

Normally I would say hello to a bus driver as soon as I get on, but that day this guy on duty seemed indifferent and not interested so I said no words instead. I must stress I am not complaining here. Imagine a day in the life of a bus driver during the pandemic. Let’s try to put ourselves in their shoes and show some understanding and empathy.

Carefully I looked around, there were a few people at the back but none of them was too close to me. I guess I just wanted to make sure my own safety along the way.

A few stops later, the bus started to have more passengers coming in, those empty seats nearby were then quickly taken. As the bus was getting close to its allowable capacity, I could feel my stress level going up. The fear of contamination caused my body to react, in a subtle way – my posture became a bit rigid and stiff while my whole body began to tense up. When the short 20 minute trip was finished, a sense of relief was written all over my face. When I got off, it was “a breath of fresh air” the 2020 edition.

What can I say? All aboard, welcome to the new world order today!

While some cities or countries are still on lockdown, banning their residents from going out, I won’t be surprised if many people in our community simply choose not to go out themselves. Mental health has taken a hit. We all need to be kinder and more patient to ourselves and towards others.

By now we are all used to the new hygiene practice against the spread of coronavirus – social distancing, use hand sanitiser, check body temperature, wear a mask upon entering a store. Just the other day when I was doing grocery shopping at a local supermarket, I noticed something interesting but a slightly outrageous scene – a female shopper carrying a trolley full of items, all were wrapped in individual plastic bags.

Being an OCD person, I could understand why she was doing what she was doing – to protect and prevent contamination of germs and viruses. But even to me it was a bit overkill.

Part of me wanted to wear a badge of environmentalist and tell her off, hey you should not be using so many plastic bags unnecessarily. But I gave up the idea. Why? I didn’t know her. I didn’t know her life. I didn’t know what was going through her mind.

Everyone reacts differently to this pandemic. Different age groups have different risk factors and concerns associated with it. Some people’s coping mechanisms may look rather odd, weird, out of ordinary or over the top. But let’s not be too quick to judge others. Cut them some slack.

No doubt coronavirus is highly contagious and spreading fast across the globe, but so can we make kindness…

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Buy Back Attention

I was planning on writing this post 3 days ago but I kept getting distracted. When facing a blank page, you soon realise just how much work you need to do before thoughts can be put into words.

Sure, it’s much easier to browse through some social media feeds, reading other people’s posts or watching their YouTube videos, than spend time to create your own work. Honestly, if I don’t produce another post, the world will still go around, no one would care.

But I do care, I simply can’t quieten that voice on the back of my mind.

Why attention? The other day I was driving my brother and my parents to a beach, I noticed my brother kept commenting on the scenes outside while we were talking about something else. Not that he meant to interrupt our conversation or wanted to change the subject but he simply got distracted by each passing traffic. And? My way to stopping him from being distracted was to continue talking about the topics we were on before.

A typical type of so-in-your-face distraction is ads. Look around, they are just about everywhere. Of course, they exist for a reason, love it or hate it, the bottom line is they want to find ways to getting into your head, so you don’t forget.

Let’s say you are watching one of your favourite YouTube clips, then out of blue, a couple of ads pop up one after another, you feel annoyed so decide to click a skip ad button. But if the same ads repeat often enough, they will be stuck in your head in no time. Any tricks? Lately, I’ve started to let those ads run freely but while pressing the mute on the speakers.

Remember the phrase “selective hearing”? I admire those people who have such an ability. They can focus on only what they want to hear and block out all other noises. Whether it’s your thing or not, in this day and age, we can’t literally take all in, being selective is really the way to go. How we treat our attention should be in the same way we treat our most valuable commodity – time.

They say it’s all in your head. I agree. But more precisely, I think it’s all in your attention. What we pay attention to has consequences. It will pretty much set the course of your day. In my case, I ended up procrastinating and postponing this post for 3 days.

It may sound ironic but perhaps distraction is a homework I had to do, a warm-up session I had to take part in before qualifying myself to write about attention. In the process, I’ve learned that attention is really a choice, a decision. It’s a split second thing you do, but the outcome can make a world of difference. How I bought my attention back, is by obeying and bowing to that nagging voice in my head – paying attention to writing.

Now this post is done, it’s time to cut myself some slack…

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An Ordinary Day

Looking at the title of this post, if you say you are going to yawn, I won’t blame you.

Our day out at the beach was such a low-key affair that there is probably not much I can write about it.

Somehow, a narrative I keep coming up with is more or less along the lines of “simplicity”. I think it will be a good starting point to begin this post.

It’s easy to dismiss an ordinary day outright and believe there is nothing worth raving about. If something is too small to get noticed, we probably think it’s too trivial and insignificant, right? Think about fine print. Arguably, it’s small, hidden, tricky and not obvious to our eyes but when we read it, we discover something important in it.

I took my parents and my brother to this quiet beach for a reason – to get some fresh air, get our bodies moving, relax, and enjoy the view. This affluent seaside suburb surely lived up to its reputation allowing us to do just that.

With no crowd in sight on this day, just a few people scattered over the shore, it was indeed a safe haven from the outside world. No loud music, no big cheers, no large gatherings, just the sunshine, the sea breeze, the sand and the calm waves. Everyone simply “behaved themselves” and went about their own businesses – having a dip, building sand castles, going for a stroll or sunbathing. It’s simplicity that makes an ordinary day extraordinary.

Often it takes a significant event like the coronavirus pandemic to make us realize how precious an ordinary life is. While other parts of the world are still battling with a second wave of the outbreak, Sydney, our city continues to make good progress. We have seen daily new cases consistently stay in the low two-digit or single-digit range since July. As such, the government decided to ease restrictions and give residents a high degree of freedom. Counting our blessings, people can lead their lives and run their businesses as “normal” as possible.

How do we embrace our ordinary day and see something extraordinary in it?

For me, it requires slowing down, taking a step back and reviewing it from that angle and perspective. By writing this post, I suddenly realise, those so-called small things in life aren’t that small after all. They reason why they look small is because we haven’t given them enough our attention…

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Let’s Talk About Solitude

One is not a lonely number.

Some people are uncomfortable with solitude, fearing that if they have spent too much on their own, they will be predisposed to the feeling of loneliness.

Solitude is not about losing touch with someone or something on purpose or being disconnected from the outside world or the mainstream because of circumstances.

Solitude is a lifestyle choice. It is a practice of observing own body, mind and soul, and our relationship with nature around us, in a setting that is free of judgement and force.

Three things that I have learned from being in a state of solitude are:

  1. Life evolves. I don’t need to be more or less than what I already am to go with it.
  2. Sun rises, sun sets. The universe has always its own set of course and timing.
  3. Mother nature is bigger than you. Show some respect.

I have also found that after a period of solitude, I have more new things to talk about and share with family and friends when I am back in civilization. Overall, it makes me an interesting guy to be around.

Remember, solitude doesn’t choose you, you choose solitude. And yes, I hear solitude loud and clear every time: One is not a lonely number. One is a lovely number…

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Time To Live Life On The Slow Lane

If I have to name only one benefit coming out of this pandemic, then it would be this is the first time on a global scale that we have been forced to slow down – the opportunity to reflect on our lives.

What are things that mattered to you then but don’t really matter to you now?

Recently I’ve spent more time with my parents. To coincide with their physical levels, I intentionally chose the areas that require less strenuous efforts but are still stimulating enough for them to get up and keep active.

We took a walk across the bridge, then came back sat near the water, soaked up the sun and watched the day go by. What’s more, we had this cute goose family to keep us company. The simple pleasures…

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Life’s A Bitch, Sometimes

Sometimes life’s a bitch. Yes, sometimes…

Much of how I plan my day is at the mercy of weather. After all, you want to be in tune with Mother Nature. If you don’t watch her temperaments carefully, she will turn your day into night, and your night into a very long night. Just don’t mess with her.

We saw gusty winds rampage through Sydney in the last few days. Coupled with the high level of pollen count, it would’ve aggravated my hay fever and made my nose sneeze and run like a tap.

Tempting weather is like tempting fate. Not the smartest idea. I told myself I’d better stay at home and be a good boy. So yes, I was a homebody. Well, it wasn’t all that bad.

In some parts of the world, staying home is not an option, it’s a law, it’s an order. 2020, to have become this way? Who would’ve thought? At least, I have a choice. There’s something to be grateful about every day.

A relief came on Sunday as winds finally died down, it was a golden opportunity to go out and about and soak up the sun.

I headed to my favourite beach to have some me time. Accompanied by sun, ocean and sand, I thought I had necessary ingredients to feeling on top of the world. Strong sea breeze felt particularly chilly on this side of the cliff where I was standing, soon I lost my enthusiasm for this spot. It was gone with the wind!

No doubt spring is in the air in the southern hemisphere but don’t get too excited yet. Never underestimate the tail of winter – it still lingers. What can I say? Be good to Mother Nature, always expect the unexpected.

Before I came up with a Plan B and went somewhere else, a short distance away, I saw two grey haired women in about their 60’s, sitting up straight, in a comfortable position, facing each other. The postures suggested they were doing some form of meditation. Noticeably undeterred by what was happening outside, a look of simple contentment and clam nature was written all over their faces – a direct contrast to the wild wild world out there.

The thing is, you don’t get to negotiate with Mother Nature, you don’t argue with her, you just respect that sometimes she has her moments, too.

Chances are we don’t often have a say in our circumstances, it is what it is. I guess my life is like a camera lens, I get what I focus on. Sometimes life’s a bitch, at the moment life’s a beach (as I’m writing)…

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Are You Looking Forward To A New Day?

Freedom can be your ally, freedom can also be your enemy. How are you going to use your freedom, it’s up to you.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is stretching. The aim is to relax stiff muscles from a night of sleep. The next thing I do is to think of a word or two associated with my dog Jamie. Then it’s time to spring out of the bed and start a new day.

As soon as I get up, my brain is on the lookout for some stimuli – something to make me feel good, engaged and occupied. The first hour or two of my day generally consists of some house chores, even though things are already clean and tidy from the day before when I performed the same tasks, I still do it out of habit.

What about social media? I know how addictive it can be, so I don’t allow myself to reach for the phone until the housework is done. 9 times out of 10, I am able to stick to my morning routine and the reward system. It makes browsing my Facebook feeds less guilty because I feel like I have earned it.

Nowadays, with some much time on my hands, I could easily fall victim to productivity hacks. The truth is, no one really stands behind me monitoring every task on my daily agenda, whether I skip it, disregard it or do nothing at all, and whether I fail or succeed, no one will know anyway. But I can never lie to myself when facing output of my day.

How do you measure your productivity these days? Are you measuring up to your expectations? Are you being too hard on yourself?

I hate the feeling of lagging behind. But who am I competing against? I am competing against myself, I am also competing against time. Just remember, time will always win when you compete against it. I have come to realise, in effect, time has no interest in competing against you. Time only does its job – it just flies and waits for no one. This alone is enough to make time an all-time winner.

As my situation has evolved and changed since early this year, it’s important for me to re-define the meaning of productivity and go along with it. For example:

When it comes to exercise, it’s not about how long, it’s about whether I do exercise when I say I will.

When it comes to reading, it’s not about how many pages, it’s about whether I do pick a book and read it when I say I will.

When it comes to writing, it’s not about how many words, it’s about whether I do sit down and write when I say I will.

I have learned the hard way and realised I am not a factory. My productivity is not about output, but instead, it’s about how meaningful, how well my time is spent.

When I look back on the last 24 hours, one area of productivity I am very much proud of is taking my parents out for a fun afternoon.

I drove them around, we stopped by those hidden treasures that I stumbled across years ago. I watched mum and dad holding hands, walking in nature, relaxing on the benches, soaking up the sun. For 3 hours we spent together, I didn’t think about my anxiety, the future, the pandemic, the job, the unknown etc. Yes, I did think about the past, but only our sweet memories – how I used to take my dog Jamie here exploring those hidden tracks…

Today is a new day, another day to stare at a blank page. As I am about to wrap up this post, it’s worth noting that I didn’t simply sit my ass down and start writing. Way before I began, I had gone through a series of resistance – self-sabotage and negative self-talks. Against the odds, each word I write, it takes me a bit closer to a flow state.

What can I say? Freedom is a buzzword. Use it or lose it? When no allies come to your aid, perhaps it’s time to use the enemies…

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A Loner, So What?!

No touch, use hand sanitiser, social distancing, wearing a mask… We may be physically safe from harm, but let’s not forget, mentally, we need to stay engaged even when we are by ourselves.

Here is my favourite part of the beach – quiet and peaceful. This hidden gem has been my weekend escape for several years. But in recent months, I have seen an influx of people coming here to do some “touristy” things. How annoying!

Two weekends ago I was here again. As soon as I arrived, I was turned off by the crowd and their noises. After staying for around ten minutes, I lost interest. Before I was about to leave for somewhere else, I don’t know what it was, maybe some unknown force, I turned and took one last look.

There he was, a lone figure, sitting on the top of the cliff, I couldn’t take my eyes off this guy. He had what I call a cool rugged look – the man bun hairstyle, the stubble, sunglasses.

He was playing a guitar. With nature providing the beautiful backdrop – the sun, the blue sky, the ocean, the sea breeze and the bush, minus people – a sharp contrast of the irritating crowded scene earlier. I found myself gravitating towards his sole presence and the zen like serenity around him, I decided to climb up there and get a bit closer to him.

To ensure that I would not distract him and his music, I waited for a short while before plucking up the courage to approach him and say hi.

His name is Francesco from Argentina. I remember I asked him these ice breaker questions “Are you an artist? Were you playing a song that you wrote yourself?”. He smiled back and said: No, I was just practising some tunes from internet.

As he called it: Nature brought us together. We hit it off very quickly and found ourselves enjoying various topics such as life, nature, Tibetan Buddhism, meditation, my dog, a book entitled Four Agreements which he recommended, and the tattoos on his wrists – One was Surf, the other was Freedom.

He called himself a loner and he said it with full conviction. It struck me. I responded, I guess I am a loner, too but I don’t like the word loner and I don’t call myself a loner, there are too many negative connotations attached to it, I would rather call myself individual. I then added that my dog was a loner, too, that’s why we got along.

As the sun started to set and the temperature began to drop, it was nature’s way of hinting that it was time for us to go separate ways.

That night when I got home, I could not stop thinking about those words he said. Very inspiring!

The next day when I woke up in the morning, I decided outright, to be true to myself and call myself a loner…

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Ted’s Photography 7

So breathtaking, beautiful and spectacular, yet so dangerous.

Location: The Gap at Watsons Bay in Sydney.

I took this photograph from afar a couple of weeks ago. The gusty wind was very strong that day. I zipped my coat up while holding the camera as tightly as I could. If not careful, I might drop it to the deep ocean down below.

When you have a chance to come visiting here, you cannot help but notice the fence along the edge of the cliff – It is tall and fixed with permanent signs everywhere: Lifeline and security cameras.

While I was taking the stairs towards the top of the cliff, the wind continued to blow out of hand. A few bunches of flowers wired to the fence remained undeterred. It looked like they had been there for days if not weeks. In one spot, there was a set of two candles in jars adding a bit peaceful feel to it.

I learned a long time ago not to judge people who chose that path to ending their lives. No one should. We don’t know what they had gone through that led them to commit such self harm that ended in tragedy.

Those that are left behind… They continue to grieve for as long as the pain persists…

Ted Tsai