Tag: Writing

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Give Bullies A Boo

A mother was heartbroken.

There she was talking explicitly about her pain and anguish in front of the TV reporters. As a way of protecting her privacy, she wore a white surgical mask to hide her identity. Even so, the cameras were able to zoom in on her and capture the sadness in her eyes. It was written all over her face.

What’d happened? Why was she so upset? It’s a call no parents will ever want to receive. An episode no parents will ever want to go through in their life. In an apparent suicide attempt, her teenage son was seen jump out of the school building to kill himself. Fortunately, he didn’t die at the scene. But he was seriously injured to the lower part of his body as later announced by hospital.

School did all they could – called an ambulance. He was quickly taken to a hospital emergency department for an urgent treatment. His mother rushed to the ward to be by his bed side, watch him fighting for his life. The hospital setting, the medical staff running around, No, it wasn’t one of prime-time soap operas, it was a real news on TV last week in Taiwan.

Believe or not, his self-harm didn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Why not? He’d been known for being a victim of bullying both on line and on the school yard for a while. In that, his school has been criticized for not acting early enough to prevent this preventable tragedy.

To add insult to injury, his mother was suggested by school to file the case as an accident as opposed to a suicide attempt, so that it’d give the case a valid reason for the insurance claim. Then on the get-well card sent to him following the incident, there was an insensitive message coming from his teacher calling his act as stupid. Also, on that there were a couple of anonymous short messages believed to be written by the bullies. Those three little words “Get well soon” were a bit cold comfort. That’s all they have to say. They didn’t sound sincere nor genuine. Perhaps driven by fear, pressure or public outcry, they didn’t even have the decency to put their names down.

From this, we can see words hurt, sometimes words can kill. This is a case got reported by the media and brought to light. No one would argue it’s an isolated one. But imagine how many cases are out there that haven’t been uncovered? We just don’t know. But one thing for sure, the number won’t be zero.

So, how did he become an easy, soft target for bullying among his peers? Why did he get picked on? When I heard of the reason, I was dismayed and appalled. The types of bullying he had to endure were staggering. He was subjected to names calling (sissy) that followed him everywhere, systematic intimidating, teasing and harassing taking place in the school’s change room. His gentle soul and persona got him into trouble. The trouble lies in the fact he didn’t fit the stereotypes of dominant men which are deeply ingrained in our world – something that’s been passed down generation after generation and to this day, there’re still signs of reinforcing it. I don’t see anything wrong with portraying men as a strong character, but it needs to have a balance. Strength comes in many shapes and forms. If you look around, chances are the strongest people you’ve ever come across aren’t those who appear to be the loudest, but the calmest.

Relatively, weeks ago a news feed on my Facebook posted by SBS (Special Broadcasting Services) Australia, got me thinking long and hard on the subject. It was about a small school boy called Mitchell who went to the TV studio – a debate forum “Insight” telling the host and a group of audience about how he stood up to a bully and told this kid to stop being mean to his friend. Mitchell’s bravery and courage won him much admiration and applause from many viewers, but it shouldn’t just end there. Our schools, our workplaces and every corners of our society need more friends like Mitchell. We all can be the next Mitchell in our own tiny way. Remember 3 S’s to eradicate the bullying – See something, say something, stop something. That’s all it takes. Interestingly, what Mitchell discovered about the bully and shared it on the show was: the bully felt threatened when being confronted by him. Deep down bullies are weak, once their bad behaviours are interrupted, they lose power and the edge over other people.

Why do I feel so strongly about this topic? Because I’m no stranger to bulling. Growing up, I used to be that little boy got bullied a lot at school. Back then, the term for bullying didn’t even exist. That Taiwanese teenager’s ordeal resonated with me on a personal level which prompted me to write this post. I survived, a long time ago. Many people did as well. But some did not. They went to extremes to end their own lives to end the pain they could no longer bear. Bullying is like bacteria. If the environment is “right” for them, it’ll become a breeding ground for them to proliferate, they will do just that – spread. If we foster the environment that’s supportive and inclusive, bullies will have no place to cling on to.

Last, as this post draws to a close, I thought I’d ask: What advice would you give to the teenage self? For me, I’d tell myself: Strive to be the best version of yourself, embrace your differences and stay weird!

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Do What You Were Born To Do

At just 16, Greta Thunberg is already out there sending the message of climate change to the world. I can foresee it’ll be her life’s work for a long time.

So, where were you at the age of 16 or 26 or 36? If you open a time capsule buried in the past, can you see what you were trying to achieve or already achieved back then? What about now? What are your career aspirations? Are you still searching for that something that’ll get you out of bed every morning? Something you’ll do again and again and never get sick and tired of, nor give up on. Then, there comes the roadblocks, self-doubts, uncertainties. What does it take to find your niche in life? Doing what you love doesn’t necessarily mean getting paid for it. If money isn’t in the cards, will you continue the same level of enthusiasm as if it was a paid job? When the only reward is nothing financial but something that gives you a sense of achievement and satisfaction, will you still be there till the end?

Before my family immigrated into Australia, my life in Taiwan from the day I was born was all about being competitive and passing all school exams. As a student, I was told to study hard and get good grades at school. It was the common sentiment shared among many parents. Who wouldn’t want their children to have a head-start, a well-paved career path and a higher socioeconomic status in the future? Though I was rarely one of those top students excelled at all subjects, it didn’t bother me to the slightest that I was just an “average” student.

I remember in our writing class, we were asked to write about “What do you want to do when you grow up?”, I think I said I want to be a teacher, a musician, a pianist. When I got a bit older, around my teenage years or something, I changed it to a journalist, a news reader, an actor, or a TV personality etc. As time went by, I didn’t end up pursuing interests or hobbies in those areas. Instead, I switched to one subject that I loved most – English. To be good at it, I spent the bulk of my time studying it, going to evening English classes, listening to English language programs on radio. I even hired American tutors to perfect my conversational skills. When I got better at it, Taiwan, a tiny island about the same size of Netherlands in Europe, was too small to my increasing appetite for success. I told my parents, I want to go to study in America. The West.

They took us to Australia in 1990. Over the course of two decades, I went following what was thought to be popular and mainstream – going to university, getting a corporate job and buying a property. I was lucky enough to achieve all that – graduating with a Bachelor degree from one of top universities in Australia, working for those well-known big companies and living the Great Australian dream in one of the most livable cities in the world. What more could I ask for? On paper, it looks alright. But behind the scenes, there were tones of torments. For example, I was jobless and living my life without any source of income in 2012 and 2013, while paying home mortgage and other bills. Gratefully, they were a thing of the past and I’m now in a better place mentally and physically, but that’s not to say I’m 100% done.

The notion of “Do what you were born to do” got me thinking recently. I first heard of it from a mutual friend of mine a few years ago. After she left a broken marriage, she decided to relocate to Singapore. Two years later she quite her 6-figure salary job altogether. Then she became this person on a mission to find her purpose in life. At that time, it all sounded too New Age to me, something I wasn’t too fond of nor interested in. So, I went through the motions without paying too much attention. But lately the idea has re-surfaced. Perhaps it’s because I’m at a different stage of life. “Do what you were born to do” has come to me with a fresh meaning. I’m crystal clear about what I was brought to this world for – to be the voice of minorities and to break down stereotypes.

Minorities? What minorities? One way or the other, everyone will become part of minorities at least once in their life time. How so? Permanently or temporarily, we all have this identity or self-image that is seen as an outsider or even outcast by the society at large. For example, people in the LGBT community, a single parent, a divorcée or divorcé, people who have been bullied or abused, people who have been laid off etc. All can be classified as minorities. When a crisis arises, a large proportion of people in these groups tends to experience some form of mental illness – depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.

Admittedly, I have my fair share of shit moments, but I didn’t go through those rough patches for nothing. Have been a minority on many fronts, though once was too painful to bear, it’s given me the ability to empathize and relate to people’s struggles similar to mine. I’ll continue to use this platform as the voice of minorities and help whoever reads it build life skills from there…

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The Change We Don’t Want To Keep

Climate change. Who cares? I know Greta Thunberg does. Who is she? The 16 year old Swedish school girl, a climate activist, a Ted Talks speaker, now a nominees for The Nobel Peace Prize 2019, made world headlines for her “school strike for climate” protest. Started out as one person herself in August 2018, it’s since attracted more than a million of students around the globe to do just that. How could the power of one grow to a gigantic size and become a world phenomenon in such a short space of time?

Not surprisingly, the news coverage and social media all played a part. They helped spread her word but did people buy it? It’s interesting to see how the event unfolded. In the very beginning, she was literally an unknown teenager. When she first learned about climate change, she was appalled by a lack of action from the government. Her frustration got to the point where she decided to skip classes and stand outside the Swedish Parliament protesting. On day one, she was there alone with the sign saying “Skolstrejk för klimatet”. The next day, more people noticed her and started to join in. Her movement captured the worldwide attention. Teens from over a hundred countries were so inspired by her, they went following in her footsteps. In that, we’ve seen groups of young students around the globe carry the same message demanding their government to act against climate change.

What does this tell us? To be honest, at first, I thought she was just a kid hating school. Protesting was a convenient excuse for not turning up classes. Am I the only person thought that way? Surely not. But my wrong assumption of her highly publicized motive quickly dissipated as I learned more about her. I began to see her larger than life character in 2 ways.

  • She turned her belief in “doing the right thing” for our planet into action even it meant going on her own.
  • She’s the epitome of the power of one.

What about you? What quality have you got in you that can make people want to stop and listen to you or follow you? If you’ve got what it takes, bring it out! Risk it! We can all start small, can’t we? We can all start alone, can’t we? Are you willing to embark on a solo journey, be an unsung hero in your own right, even when no one knows you exist?

When it comes to the environment, everyone can do something about it no matter how insignificant it may sound. My recent experiences related to this subject were a mixed bag. A few months ago while I was bush walking with my dog in a local reserve, I happened to see something annoying – a big re-usable plastic bag dumped on the shore. Because it was right near where my favourite spot was, I took it very personally. Seeing the area being littered like this, my immediate reaction was: Who’s the bastard? I kept mumbling why would anyone do such a thing to trash our environment. It bothered me so much that I decided to walk all the way back and put it in the nearest bin roughly some 800 metres away, not to mention I had to put up with the bad smell/rotten seafood coming out of the bag. Two weeks later, when I returned, I saw an envio bag hanging up on a tree with a few words written in block letters “IF YOU CARE PLEASE TAKE A BAG HELP CLEAN UP THANK YOU” (pictured). This time I was moved by it. Someone out there who was also caring and smart enough to know that if one day our Earth is too sick to survive, we’re all going to suffer. No amount of success or money can compensate for it. Agree?

Finally, before this post draws to a close, I thought I’d mention the common real estate mantra location location location. We say it repeatedly to highlight the importance of the location and how it can dictate the value of a home. But the location itself only reveals half of the truth. It’s the environment that makes or breaks business at the end. If the environment can shape who we are as a person, it certainly has the same capability to determine our destiny. The good news is it’s in our hands. The bad news is it’s also in our hands…

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Five Life Lessons I’ve Learned From My Dog

The common phrase dogs are man’s best friend is probably an understatement. To me, they’re also man’s best teacher. In some circumstances, they’re even man’s life saver. Imagine a world without dogs, how sad and lonely would that be?

Of course, our furry kids don’t come for free. They have needs too. In fact, they need us more than we need them. But ironically, they understand us more than we understand them. Dogs aren’t cheap. Arguably, there’s a high cost associated with having a dog. For example, dog food, dog treats, dog medicine, dog grooming and dog health care etc. They’re all much dearer than human’s. Surprised? Money aside, dogs are also famous/infamous for being high maintenance animals. They require someone to do the clean-up, play with them and give them enough attention. It’s a lifelong commitment and a huge responsibility to bear. But in spite of all these, many dog owners never regret having a dog. Why? Because the trust and unconditional love we receive from them is unmatched by any other kinds of creatures including humans.

I’ve had my dog Jamie since he was only a 3 month old puppy. Time flies! He’s now a 12 year old senior dog. I admit sometimes I get tired of looking after him. I’m juggling and struggling with a work-life balance at the same time. I wish I had more time for myself: To rest, to read, to write, to do all those creativity projects, to go out night-clubbing and to have a vibrant social life. But every time I spend time with my dog, by that I mean going out and about on the beach or around the bush as opposed to doing a retail therapy or having a nightlife, he has this magic power to make me see what I don’t always see – wants aren’t necessarily needs. My need to seek external validation is one of misconceptions I have about what makes me happy. He’s helped me step back and stay away from that. This fellow has changed my life completely and unreservedly… for better. He’s taught me to appreciate the moment, to live in the present I’m in. Most of all, he’s shown me love is a verb, not a noun. In that, these are 5 life lessons I’ve learned from him.

1. Chase toys, not troubles: Do we forget that sometimes life is a bit fun and games? Fair enough, we don’t always win but we don’t have to lose our sense of humour as a result. Have we taken life too seriously? If we can’t see the bright side, can we at least try to see the light side? Yes, life is hard, but instead of echoing the sentiment, can we approach it and do the opposite – laugh at it? My dog doesn’t temp fate, he deals with practicality, what’s in front of him. When life throws him a lemon, he chases it, plays with it and perhaps even chews it. If he doesn’t like it, he spits it out. He’s inspired me to be a comedian, not a complete drama queen in the life stages. You either laugh or cry, which role would you choose to play?

2. There’s a such thing as a free meal if you are good to your parent(s): My dog totally relies on me. I’m fine with it. He knows who’s boss in this household. All he has to do is be a good son. He’s enough. He doesn’t need to kiss my ass or try to be a different breed to get all freebies in the house. He’s a constant reminder that there’s always a breadwinner/boss above us, whether it’s in life or in career. No matter what position we’re in, none of us got to where we are alone. Be thankful and respectful to people who helped us along the way.

3. Forgive (and forget sometimes): This is by far the biggest lesson. Somehow I think all major wars and conflicts still happening in the world today is because we human beings haven’t learnt one thing – forgiveness. Dogs forgive. Period. They even forget sometimes. It’s not because they have a shorter memory, it’s because they know life goes on and it’s shown in their capability to move on. To me, that’s the true spirit of forgiveness. Are you (still) waiting for someone to show some remorse so that you’ll consider forgiving him? What if he never does, are you going to sit there and wait forever? Who’s really being punished here? As a matter of fact, we define what forgiveness is, not the offender or the enemy.

4. Love without an asterisk. If we want to know what love is, just go and watch how a dog shows affection to his/her owner. If we treat love like an investment, expect a bigger return later, most of us will go bankrupt very quickly. Some say Love is blind. I disagree. I think only people are too blind to see what love is. Can we love someone without terms and conditions? The fine print? Love is love, full stop.

5. Certain things aren’t for human consumption…: What the heck is this? Well, I deliberately won’t elaborate it. Use some imagination! Bring out your creativity! Give me your short and sweet answer.

So, where do we go from here? or should I say what has Jamie done today? He’s slept in his bed, daydreamed a bit, checked me out a few times, eaten dinner, gone to toilet. It’s a good life, isn’t it? Now he’s lying on the floor behind my chair as I write this. If I could just add another point to make the 6th life lesson I’ve learnt from him, it’d be Let sleeping dogs lie…

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Freedom Of Speech Leaves Some Of Us Speechless

You can never know who is on the other side reading your on-line comments.

Social media has created a giant cyber space that allows us to speak or write as freely as we like while at the same time remain anonymous if we choose to. Its raising popularity continues to threaten the longevity of traditional media like newspaper and TV. We’ve seen some media companies suffer a major blow, land in deep water and lose ground in recent years. Some reacted quickly and transformed themselves into more digital-friendly entities. Some unfortunately were too slow to respond and went out of business.

Nowadays, social media platforms are readily available at our fingertips. With a few clicks we can set one up in minutes and get the ball rolling in no time. Anyone who broadcasts or publishes their work on internet can pretty much call themselves the media. In there, the old debate over Freedom of Speech seems to have re-surfaced. The line between acceptable language and unacceptable language couldn’t be more blurred.

The old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” isn’t child’s play. Behind a brave face, is a fragile heart we don’t always get to see. The thing is we’re all prone to negative remarks. One bad comment circulating on the face of social media, can be seen by many people, friends, family and strangers. It’s enough to ruin someone’s day. What about some fake news we’ve heard time and time again? It’s going around, spreading like wildfire everywhere in the world.

Has Freedom of Speech gone too far? Living in a democratic society, we’re entitled to exercise our rights of freedom of speech. “The deal” is we’re free to express our opinions openly but only in a non-violent way. Yet, we can take it all for granted. Some use it and abuse it. To put things in perspective, in some parts of the world, Freedom of Speech is an unattainable commodity. Their fights continue while we sleep…

To dive in to the notion of Freedom of Speech, it’s all about the freedom to make our voices heard. One way to do that is through election. If you’re an overseas reader, in case you didn’t know, voting in Australia is mandatory. By law every eligible citizen is required to cast their vote during election or they’ll face a fine. Here on the election day, outside each polling station you’ll likely see an army of supporters and an array of volunteers for their candidates. They smile at you, hand out the how-to-vote sheets and if you don’t mind stopping for a minute or two, they’ll explain to you why you should vote for their favourite politicians. Generally, I don’t classify myself as a swing voter, my mind is pretty much made up before I do the ballot papers thing.

In the state of NSW, we just finished State Election 2 weeks ago. The night before the election was held, my commuter train got delayed. As a result, I was stuck inside a compartment for over half of an hour on Friday evening. This incident left a bad taste in my mouth that I vowed not to support my sitting member for the first time. Next day, when I went to vote, just 30 minutes before it closed, I met this interesting lady outside the polling place. She was there to support an independent candidate. I asked her why she’s doing it, she said in a strong tone: We need a different voice in this community, someone who can focus on the local issues…etc. I guess I was a bit swayed by her. Anyway, when I was done with the voting, I went out and still saw her there till the end. I was impressed by her dedication. I stopped again for a chat. This time I got to know her a little better. I learned she was a flight attendant working for Qantas. The next day she was due to fly to that city in that country. I commented how lucky she’s living the jet set lifestyle. She smiled and said: After a while, the novelty does wear off… Then she rolled her eyes and lamented in a joking way: Once I land in there tomorrow, I’ll be shut off from the outside world because I won’t have access to Facebook and Google… I laughed in agreement. Right at that moment, I also realized how lucky we are to live in a free country with unrestricted access to the Web. Our Freedom of Speech is assured and given to us “free of charge”. Importantly, the same goes for respect for the rights of others.

The fact that I can write pages and pages of posts expressing my opinions without fears, I’m thankful for it. But when do we go from here? When all is said and done, sometimes we still can’t shut up the noises and bigotry out there. When respect is not being respected, when someone still pushes our buttons, remember: The power is in your hands. Stay calm and keep your grace. Just push one of these buttons back – OFF or DELETE.

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You Will Not Get The Business Unless You Ask For It

What does it take to utter those words, to say what you want? What gets in your way? Do you sometimes expect others to read your mind or reciprocate your feelings? Are you playing a waiting game or just sitting there to see what happens? Are you hoping that one day someone will discover that special gift in you and take your career or business to the next level? And? If none of your old tricks has worked, are you open to new tricks even though they may make you uncomfortable at first?

Back in the March 2014 conference, when our MD was presenting, he was talking about what he’s learnt during his time with the company which he created 2 decades ago. Out of 10 points he raised, one struck me like an electricity shock. He said it point-blank: “You will not get the business unless you ask for it”. This message was so profound that has stuck with me since. To find truth in it, I didn’t have to look too far. My sister is a classic example. The steps she took to get a promotion to the position of Financial Controller in a well-known recruitment firm, Japan, were astonishing. It wasn’t just one-shot thing but multiple attempts for 2 years to get where she is today. The hurdles she overcame, the office politics she endured, at the end she got it. Undeniably it was an amazing achievement for a foreigner, a woman and a minority living in such a homogeneous society. I can visualise the glass ceiling being smashed, leaving shards of glass all over the floor! The notion of the sky is the limit no longer applies to today’s world. It is a cliché but the only limit we have is the limits we set for ourselves.

Contrary to my sister, I’ve been this old-school guy. I prefer to work hard, earn my credit, get noticed and wait for people to promote me, one day. Yes, one day… It sounds like a good virtue but deep down it’s driven by fears. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of losing face. That said, in a do-or-die situation, we often become bigger than fears for the sake of survival.

During my job seeking days, those rules I had about getting ahead were thrown out the window. Why? Because I knew when stakes are high, when competition is fierce, there’s no place for humbleness. Best save all the humanity for the winner speech later. Through trial and error, I learned to adopt a self-promotion approach to get myself shortlisted way before I could even get a foot in the door.

Now back to basics. If I want people to read my mind, I need to be an open-book myself. If I want people to reciprocate my feelings, I need to let my guard down, articulate and express my feelings clearly. If I want more readership, I need to give readers ideas they can relate to or useful to them. If I want more business, I need to show up and tell them what I can offer first. Self-promotion is not about bragging about yourself or promoting your own self-interest, it’s about bringing out the best in you. It’s not a big ask, is it?

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Want To Stop Complaining Instantly? Think Big!

Complaining is part of life. We complain just about everything from traffic, money, weather, waiting in a queue, bad customer service, work, to our partner, family, sometimes even ourselves. You name it.

There’re times when complaining is essential. There’re also times when complaining is a complete waste of time and energy. We know complaining can serve us well when we have a strong case and we’re looking to improve a situation. We also know complaining can produce no good results when we just want to vent. Ironically, people on the receiving end often put up with our ranting without complaining. Most of time we don’t even realize it till we see the big picture. What? The big picture? Read on and you’ll see why.

In February/March 2016, all our Sydney staff were sent to Melbourne for a 3-day conference. I was both excited and nervous as I’d never been to Melbourne. Only the night before I was due to fly, then I started to pack my personal belongings. My goal was to travel as light as possible. On the day I arrived at the airport, I was a little bit late. So, I was in a mad rush to get my check-in done. Luckily, my checked baggage was sorted within minutes thanks to the fast Self Service Check-in facilities. As I proceeded to a security screening point, I realized I had a piece of nail scissors in my carry-on baggage. Damn! I should’ve put it in my checked baggage but there was no turning back. No surprise, it was confiscated and dumped into a bin. The customs officer who caught it and threw it away, looked at me as if I was a terrorist. I wasn’t happy, but time was running out, I’d better hurry up or I’d miss my flight.

A few minutes later, I saw my colleagues still standing at the gate and waiting. None of them had boarded the plane. It gave me a peace of mind. Great! It wasn’t too bad after all. Feeling hugely relived, I thought finally I can pace myself and take it easy. I went up to them to join their conversation. While there soon I found myself starting to complain about my bad experience just then. Interestingly, at that point, a colleague next to me was scrolling through pages and pages of his photo albums on the phone. I happened to see a picture of him – a shaved head with stitches around his skull. It looked like someone had cut it open with a knife or scissors then put staples back on to close it again. It was quite scary to watch. Right there and then, I stopped. I realised my complaint was nothing compared to the image I’d just seen. I felt a bit embarrassed, almost ashamed. But out of curiosity, I went to ask him what was that all about. He said he was diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago. Following that he underwent a brain operation to have it removed. It was a success. Then, he was treated with a chemotherapy to ensure the monster never return again. That picture of him was taken not long after the surgery was done. Who would’ve known that years later it turned out to be the big picture for me to see what really matters at the end of the day.

What if you’re the one who receives complaints? One of my friends who was in a managerial position had a smart way of handling chronic complaints from her staff. She’d listen to them patiently, then hit back with the big question like: So, what do you suggest doing to change it? This would put them in problem-solving mode as opposed to just sitting there and whinging about it.

Next time, when you catch yourself or someone complaining about something that’s clearly not worth your time and attention. You know those types of complaints – just whining and whining. Whether it’s done in person, on the phone or in social media, think big!

The big picture: Does it matter at the end of the day?

The big question: What do you suggest doing to change it?

 

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Down But Not Making You Down

Confidence, we all want it but not everyone gets it.

Where does confidence come from after all? What makes one more confident than the other? Does confidence mean you need to be a loud and bossy type or appear superior in front of other people? Do you have to be a certain breed to exude a high level of confidence? If you haven’t got it, can you just fake it to make it? So many questions here but the answer might be just one only. Mel Robbins says: Confidence is a skill, not a personality trait. It is the willingness to try. Do you agree? Read the following story, it may change the way you believe what confidence is.

So, I was on the train one Friday night after work. As usual, I proceeded to the middle carriage and stood in a quiet spot. There was nothing else to do except starring at my phone and scrolling through pages and pages of Facebook feeds. This commute was no difference from any other days. But it all started to change when this 30-year-old-ish lady got on the train. She came sitting down next to two female passengers – Presumably a mother and a daughter. They had two big suitcases standing side by side against their knees. With check-in bag tags still hanging, it looked like they’d just got out of the airport or something. Right there and then, this young lady just burst out and started to ask them a few questions like where they’d travelled from etc. Up to that point, I was reading some stuff on my phone, but my attention started to drift a bit. I was drawn by the energy she brought into this confined space. It was delightful to watch her personality shine through like a social butterfly. A great deal of charisma, confidence and a good sense of humour came right out of her – she even joked about her grey hair. Surly she didn’t mind people around having a laugh about it. Soon I found myself smiling and I noticed other passengers were smiling, too. It was infectious. What can I say? She added much fun to this tedious train ride. When we got off at the next station, everyone still carried the side-effect and wore a little grin on the face. I wondered what the incoming passengers might’ve thought. Well, she made our night that’s why. What was so special about this young lady you might ask? Well, do I have to mention that she appeared to be someone who had Down syndrome? I was glad that we had someone like her in our society!

If you are a quiet person, you can be confident in a quiet way. You don’t have to change yourself to be a mouthy human being. If you are an introvert, you can be confident in an introverted way. You don’t have to change yourself to look like an extrovert or act in such a way that’s totally opposite to your true character. To me, when it comes to confidence, it’s all about confide in your identity. How so? Let’s look at the word “confident” and unpack it piece by piece. You’ll see what I mean. I’m not a linguistic expert but I love exploring words in my unique way and make it my own.

All in all, if you buy what I’m selling here which is the idea of personal experiences, then you’ll know that at the end of the day, it’s our personal experiences that form part of our identities, something that no one can ever take away from us. Knowing that it’s already within us, we can work on bringing out the best in us and the rest? Just smile or have a laugh. That comes with confidence…

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One War That’s Always Worth Fighting For

As I write this, I ask myself: How many wars are going on in the world at this moment, right now? Look what’s been dominating the news headlines everywhere – a trade war between US and China is heating up. We see both sides blowing hot and cold about their moves while trying to resolve their differences diplomatically. As to what’s going to happen next is anyone’s guess. Things may well unfold further and further but no one can say decisively who’s going to win and who’s going to lose. Meanwhile, there’re civil wars, cold wars and wars with no name happening in other parts of the globe that we probably don’t know about. Big or small, the number is countless. It’s sad but true. So, what are people fighting for or against and in the name of what? Justice? Freedom? Power? Fairness? Ideology? Religion? Retaliation? All wars bear some heavy consequences and incur human causalities whether it’s physical, mental or financial. There’s a price to pay. Even if one side comes out of it winning the war but may still end up losing the battle. No wonder they say you need to pick your battles wisely.

What do I know about war? Back in the day when I was doing International Relation as part of my Political Science major at The University of New South Wales (UNSW), I learned that war is not evitable and often the last resort to resolving conflict between countries or military groups etc. That’s what you do when all other means have been exhausted and failed to produce desired outcomes. Well, then it raises an important question: What makes going to war worth a while? Sadly, we don’t get an answer till war is over. It’s such a complicated issue that sometimes we’d better let history be the judge.

Looking at something closer to home. February, the last month of summer here in Sydney Australia. After weeks of soaring heat and high humidity, I’m really looking forward to colder months ahead. But what’s coming along isn’t so welcoming – a flu season. The flu virus comes in 3 different types A, B and C. Depending on the regions, flu can strike either in winter months or all year round. The trickiest part of the flu virus is it’s always changing. The flu vaccine available out there is by far our best defense but every year we’re only playing catch-up. Why? Next year, there’ll be a new strain coming out hence a new type of vaccine needs to be developed to tackle it. Have heard enough of the flu virus? What about the word we all dread to hear – Cancer. How many people and their families and friends have been affected by it? Stomach cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer, skin cancer etc. Aren’t they scary?! Fortunately, cancer is no longer a death sentence as long as it’s detected at an early stage and treated accordingly. That’s just a common sense. Overall, these bad guys – the flu virus, deadly bacteria and cancerous cells don’t really discriminate against your race, your religion, your identity or your status. All they care about is to find a crack in your immune system, sneak in, launch an attack on your cells and watch you falling apart.

So, the title here is: One war that’s always worth fighting for? What is it then? By now, you would’ve got a good idea. That’s right! What I’m advocating here is forget our ideological differences, drop the stupid prejudice, spend more time and energy on what matters and what will make a difference to humanity – fighting against our real common enemies – all types of flu, all types of cancer, and all the diseases that have plagued our communities, families and friends…