Tag: Life

Huh? Yes, you’ve heard it right.

Revenge is a dish best not served…

Hungry for the payback time? Perhaps someone somewhere is using tactics to lure you into over-reacting or some wrongdoing, then when least expected, they’ll catch you in the act! Backstabbing, calculated sabotage, how worse could it get?

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. Not that I don’t want to spread the message of love here, but on my journey to building life skills, I’ve been for many times confronted with the dark side of human nature. It’d defeat the purpose of creating this website, if I didn’t allow myself to explore every facet of human DNA and the complexity of characters we later developed throughout various stages of our lives – the good, the beautiful, the bad and the ugly. When it comes to human nature, I simply can’t go passed one that I love to hate and hate to love – revenge.

If you have a tit for tat on your plate, chances are you already put yourself in a victim category. The thing is when people try anything they can to get even, odds are stacked against them. It may sound like it’s a play on words here, but history and experiences have shown us AND taught us that revenge in any shape or form if not done “rightfully” tends to backfire and inflict more pains on ourselves.

There’s a clear distinction between revenge and seeking justice. Revenge is about returning the same level of harm to an offender. It’s done normally through (but not limited to) “taking the matters into your own hands” or “the back door”, whereas seeking justice is about bringing fairness and appropriate punishments to an offender. It’s achieved normally through law or other “public” channels. Each to their own.

We often associate revenge with war. Look around, the world has no shortage of wars. War inevitably causes severe casualties and hardship for any countries involved. What’s more, the side effects continue to haunt the people and economy even in the aftermath of war. We certainly don’t need another war if we can avoid it altogether. More peaceful means like economic/trade sanctions that don’t require the use of arms and deployment of troops are just as effective.

In June, just last month, the world could’ve seen a new war between US and Iran following the incidence when an US surveillance drone was shot down by Iran over the Strait of Hormuz. To retaliate, an air strike was ordered by US President Mr Trump but was only cancelled at the last 10 minutes before the strike was due to be carried out. His change of mind came when he learned that the number of Iranians killed could hit 150.

On a much smaller scale and on a personal level, none of us is a complete angle. If we’re honest to ourselves, we all own a few vices. For me, because of my competitive nature, I’m this stubborn person who’d fight the hardest to have the last word in any argument or debate, especially when I believe that I’m right about it. If I get my own way, sweet! I’d feel like a winner, if I don’t get my own way, bitter! I’d feel like a loser. In such a case, I’d seek out the next opportunities to reclaim the lead. Childish me! But writing this post has been quite a self-discovery roller coaster, it’s led me to see – it’s just my ego talking. Ego gets in the way.

My love-hate relationship with revenge shines through in this blog post. It’s contradictory, perhaps controversial even. I admit, in some cases, I’m totally against revenge, but in other cases, I’m 100% for it. Bitter or sweet, in my book, revenge is a double-edged sword, there’s no one way or the other whichever way I look at it. Given the circumstances, at the end of the day, I’d rather win life than merely win a moment. With this in mind, it’ll help me pick my battles more carefully. For now, revenge is a dish best not served…

No matter how cynical I am about the modern phenomena and dilemma – information overload, short attention span and time poor, I can’t seem to deny (nor ignore) the fact that they are fast dominating almost all corners of the world. Nevertheless, I believe the ultimate power lies within self – our ability to switch off!

These days the concept of “less is more” serves me reasonably well. Too much talking or attention seeking can be exhausting. Still managed to spare a few hours on this Sunday afternoon to hit the outdoors. Of course, in the company of my fury kid Jamie. We two are like inseparable unity, living in each other’s pockets. Often our language doesn’t require words. Sometimes it’s non-verbal cues that speak loudest.

This walk from Clovelly Beach in Sydney’s eastern suburbs, provided me with a temporary escape from the hustle and bustle of the city life. It was picturesque. After reaching Dunningham Reserve nearby, already there was a good number of people sitting on the grass as if they were waiting for a music festival or some concert to kick off but none of them was even talking.

Interestingly, in unison, they were all showing a sign of peace, contentment and appreciation on their faces – a total contrast to the opposite side Coogee beach. It was strangely powerful. I am not a people watching person but was so intrigued by it that I went to check what was going on. Then I realized they were all in the moment, totally in sync with the surrounds – the sea breeze, sunshine, waves, blue skies etc. It was infectious… Time stood still I didn’t know for how long until Jamie gave me a light twitch, as if he was saying: Hey boss, Enough! it’s time to keep moving. Yes, I got your message Jamie! Let’s go! We walked further up and up, completed the round trip then went home. Simple and good!

The most resilient people I’ve come across, they don’t even have time to talk about resilience. What do they do? They smile, they keep their heads down, they work, they get on with life. It’s in their lifestyle, in their daily habit. Sometimes they stay that way because it’s the only way.

Where does resilience come from? Call it coping mechanism if you like. Where is it when you need it most? Does it live in La La land? Perhaps it’s tricking you, leading you on, playing hide and seek with you. Overall, they say resilience is within you. Sure! Very convenient! Always easier said than done. If you’ve come this far and you’re already yawning or rolling your eyes, I don’t blame you. Resilience sounds like a buzzword but is it just another cliché to bore you to sleep?

If you buy into what resilience has to offer, then brace yourself for some good news and bad news. The good news is resilience is something you already have. You don’t need to rely on others to give it to you. The bad news is we often look externally. Only later (rather than sooner), do we realize it wasn’t out there in the first place. Sometimes we just have to learn the hard way.

So, after a rejection, after a failure, after a defeat, after a setback, after a mishap, or after a bad luck, how do you bounce back, regroup yourself and rebuild your life, your relationship, your business, your career, your health or whatever you hold dear?

In September 2006, my former partner and I went travelling to a small town called Khao Lak in Thailand. The first half of the trip was for business – attending an HR conference, hosted by Cisco, the company he worked for then. The second half was for pleasure – touring around Phuket and surrounds.

Unlike Bangkok or Phuket, Khao Lak wasn’t as touristy and crowded. With my limited knowledge, I didn’t really know what to expect before I arrived there. A bit flashback: Khao Lak was one of the areas hit hard by tsunami back in December 2004. Before the trip began, I told myself I’m going to a small village in a developing country, don’t expect too much. It won’t be like living a life on a fast lane that kind of thing.

In case you’re wondering, part of the reason why Khoa Lak (as opposed to other more popular places) was chosen as the conference venue was to inject much-needed capital to the local economy. Because of this idea that we were doing it for a good cause and with good intentions, it’d make the whole trip extra special and meaningful, right? Not exactly! A few individuals weren’t so enthusiastic. I overheard that they felt either reluctant or compelled to stay in a place that was recently devastated by a natural disaster. I guess it is understandable. We’re only humans. After all, the area was declared as a disaster zone. Only less than two years ago, the powerful tsunami came so fast and without warning, it literally wiped out the coastal town within minutes. The catastrophe sadly resulted in thousands of lives lost including the locals and the tourists.

Fears aside. The journey began…

As soon as I set foot in the land, the air, the humidity felt and smelt different. That’s when you realise Wow you’re in a foreign country!

It was a monsoon season I remember clearly and on the day we arrived, there was a heavy rainfall down where we were heading. The wet weather could’ve been a big turn off, but it did nothing to dampen my excitement to be there. I was on a holiday mode! I got plenty of time!

Le Meridien Resort, our conference venue, was more remote and further away than I’d anticipated. From where we got picked up at Phuket International Airport to the resort was about a 2-3 hour trip by car.

Some might’ve thought the transport was such a drag and decided to have a quick nap whereas I quite enjoyed the views along the way. They reminded me very much of the Southern part of Taiwan in the early 70’s, where I spent my childhood on. It was this instant connection that kept me engaged, entertained and wanting more.

It was sightseeing to remember. I saw a woman riding a motorbike in the next lane. She was wearing a helmet and a big yellow raincoat enough to cover herself and her fellow passenger, a little kid sitting in the backseat. With the gusty wind coming from all directions at a 45-degree angle, they got wet all over. But they still carried on as if it was business as usual. I felt very fortunate to be in the comfort of this air-conditioned coach.

Also driving passed us by were a couple of utes with people sitting in the tray uncovered. The rain continued to fall, it soaked through their clothing but there was no sign of Hey, look at me, I’m suffering on their faces. They just held on. To them, it was all in a day’s work.

Upon our arrival at the resort, the hotel staff were very attentive to our needs and enquiries. I’ll never forget the welcoming refreshments served in the lobby. The Thai style drink was my first experience. It was so refreshing that I even requested a re-fill immediately after I’d finished the first glass. I was very impressed with everything. I couldn’t have asked for a better reception – the hospitality of the resort staff, front and back, the meticulous presentation of the resort rooms, facilities and resturants was the first class. Who would’ve guessed that it was nearly ruined by the tsunami less than 2 years ago?

During my one week stay there, I got a chance to speak with a few resort staff about the impacts of the tsunami on their lives. At first, I wasn’t sure if I’d make them uncomfortable, but I wasn’t quite surprised that they weren’t shy away from talking about it. One guy even pointed out to me where the sea water flowed and how high the it went right where we were in the hall.

If what they’d gone through isn’t enough to raise a few eyebrows, then read this. Well into our second week, in the national capital there was a military coup aimed at bringing down the then Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra and the cabinet. The army successfully controlled the government and ordered to shut down the national TV network. I remember that day when we turned on the television, it was all fuzzy, there was no pictures on the screen. The event sent shock wave across the globe and all of sudden we felt like we were cut from the outside world. It didn’t take long before our friends and families learned about the situation we were facing here. Khao Lak, however, far away from where the coup took place, the life was still as peaceful as ever. While we were busy reporting back to our loved ones and say we’re OK, the locals, took it quite casually. They treated it like just another day. To them, the coup wasn’t the first time and certainly won’t be the last. Not everyone copes with stress the same way. For people who have never experienced political unrest or aren’t used to this kind of thing, it can be hard. I know one teammate suffered a mental break down. It was so bad that he had to cut the business trip short and fly back home the next day to be with his family.

Resilience, resilience, resilience. Sounds like a good mantra to have. Where do we start? Or should I say where do we stop? The story of our Khao Lak trip provides a great example – There’s something we can learn about how the locals dealt with the aftermath.

What is it?

Stop the victim mentality! But how? Time to rewind and unwind. The answer lies in the question of: How did you start the victim mentality in the first place? Unpack it, undo it from there. Be more than a survivor, be a re-builder of your life…

Bon voyage!

When asked if you were an animal, what would you rather be? Madonna said she’d rather be a dog. Just to be 100% precise, I think she meant to say a bitch. If the same question in reverse goes to my dog Jamie, I believe he’d most likely say: a comedian.

So, I’ve been on this writing journey for 19 months now. You’ve seen me talk fondly about building life skills and all that. To my amazement, I’ve covered quite a range of serious topics. Have I bored you to tears already? In case I have, well, now to your amusement, I thought I’d change gears and write a different type of blog post this time – a joke, a real one. It’ll serve as a reminder for me that laughter is also an essential part of building life skills.

Telling a joke here is kind of outside my genre I’ve been known for, but hey I’ve also been known for being unpredictable. To be a creative person, the only rule is there’s no rulebook to follow.

I picked the title “Can’t See The Bright Side? Try To See The Light Side!” for a reason. Let’s face it, when shit happens and when you’re in the thick of it, one of the hardest things to do is to stay positive. True? Fair enough, if it’s not possible to see the bright side, why not try to see the light side instead? Laugh at life! Laugh at your problems, laugh at your misfortunes, laugh at your imperfections, even better laugh at yourself!

Speaking of laughter, it’s funny, remember those so-called miracle cream and anti-aging skin care products you see everywhere on the shelves at a super market or some cosmetic counters in a department store? Read the instructions on the package. They all promise to give you a flawless complexion in days or weeks. Use me and I’ll reduce your frown lines, wrinkles, and crow’s feet. But, have you ever noticed that none of them claims to reduce your laugh lines? Very smart indeed. They must’ve had a team of cool copy writers working tirelessly behind the scenes. Most people don’t mind having a bit laugh lines I would say. They are like traces of happy times on the face. Why would we want to get rid of them? If their products were marketed in that direction, it’d seriously turn people off. From miracle cream to miserable cream, why would we want to use something like that?

Enough said, are you ready for the joke? Here it is:

A few years ago, an ex-colleague of mine complained to me about her new smart phone. It kept her up all night as it just couldn’t stop vibrating for no apparent reason. She’d already tried to change the settings herself several times but without success so she came to me for help. “Ted, can you please fix it for me?” She asked. I paused for a few seconds before my cheeky side started to take over. Hmmm… I held it eventually. I didn’t say a word till the next day: Are you sure it was your smart phone?

Funny or not, I hope you had a good laugh and embraced the subtle art of not giving a bark like my dog does. For now, my job is done. I’m moving on. Till next time… Keep on laughing!

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to live a better life, have a better job, a better income, a better partner, a better house? Perhaps they just have a better luck or even a better problem! Better this and better that, whatever takes your fancy, you may begin to ask yourself: What do they have that I don’t have? Scrolling through pages of posts published on social media, we can easily see evidence of “We live in a result-driven, an outcome-obsessed society.” It’s all about the end product. We only get to see people cross the finishing line, but not the hard work that goes into it, which is often done behind the scenes. Nevertheless, we believe what we see on the outside is what we get from the inside. After all, seeing is believing. What’s wrong with it? Let’s dive in…

Perhaps you’re in a middle of doing housework, feeling a bit tired and bored, you decide to give yourself a break. You go to your smartphone, open the Facebook or Instagram app, there you are, before you know it, you’re already bombarded by friends’ posts and updates – travel photos taken from an exotic tropical island in the Pacific, some historical places in Europe or those bustling streets in East Asia. How do you feel? You may give it a like or a heart then move on? You may leave a nice comment and carry on your day to day stuff. You may get a little jealous or envious of them, then start to wonder: Why am I doing here at home in my PJ while they’re there living it up and having a great time? The adage: A picture is worth a thousand words is true in many cases. We can all agree on that. However, I’d argue a picture isn’t always representing a full picture. Don’t be surprise if there’s more to it than meets the eye. When people share their happy holiday photos on line, it’s all about the highlight. Rarely do they mention the lowlight. For example, would they tell the world that their flight got delayed for hours or they sat next to an annoying passenger or in front of a noisy jerk on a plane for 9 hours? Would they rant and rave about having a bad customer experience at a store, or having some awful food in a restaurant or having an upset stomach or diarrhea only one day after arriving at the resort? Those unexpected mishaps and dramas are kept to themselves, in private. We all like showcasing our best parts of everything to everyone. It’s only human nature. But if we as viewers are led to believe that’s all there to it, we are missing out on “a whole picture”. The feeling of inadequacy will soon find a chance to creep into our mind.

How do we gain more perspectives so that we don’t get sucked into that feeling of inadequacy? I understand if you have the urge to fill that hole or an empty space inside of you with stimuli. I’ve been there. Many times. Countless times. To counter that, I’ve come up with a good strategy to keep myself in check (like writing this blog post). We all can avoid the danger of taking something only at face value and missing the point. Try to deconstruct the myth layer by layer. In my case, as a reasonably newcomer to the blogging scene, I’m still like a new kid on the block. It’d be easy for me to feel inadequate compared with those popular bloggers out there, who have long established themselves as badass writers in their chosen fields. On the outside, fame, successes, hundreds and thousands of followers and likes etc are filling up their public domain. There’s no shortage of “good fortune”. But they got to where they’re today for a reason. It comes at a cost. It’s not free. it’s not all glam. On the inside, they’ve done the work to get them there and they continue to do the work to keep them there.

Then, just the other day, a friend of mine revealed to me that her marriage was on the rocks until she talked her husband into getting a counselling. I wouldn’t have thought that. A side of her that I didn’t know existed. It was nowhere near a portrait of her happy life on Facebook I’d seen –  enough to make her friends envious or jealous. What’s the matter? It’s not that people live a double-life, it’s just there’s a different life behind a curated library of photos we are yet to see. What I’ve learnt from this is: Not too quick to judge what I see in an instant.

Whether it’s people’s success or happiness that makes you feel inadequate, or the high life they constantly brag about gets on your nerves, stop and look out for the flip side – there’s an untold story waiting to be discovered. To complete this post, I’ll leave it with an advice I received from an ex colleague of mine at Fairfax Media. Those three wonderful little words: Work at it…

A mother was heartbroken.

There she was talking explicitly about her pain and anguish in front of the TV reporters. As a way of protecting her privacy, she wore a white surgical mask to hide her identity. Even so, the cameras were able to zoom in on her and capture the sadness in her eyes. It was written all over her face.

What’d happened? Why was she so upset? It’s a call no parents will ever want to receive. An episode no parents will ever want to go through in their life. In an apparent suicide attempt, her teenage son was seen jump out of the school building to kill himself. Fortunately, he didn’t die at the scene. But he was seriously injured to the lower part of his body as later announced by hospital.

School did all they could – called an ambulance. He was quickly taken to a hospital emergency department for an urgent treatment. His mother rushed to the ward to be by his bed side, watch him fighting for his life. The hospital setting, the medical staff running around, No, it wasn’t one of prime-time soap operas, it was a real news on TV last week in Taiwan.

Believe or not, his self-harm didn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Why not? He’d been known for being a victim of bullying both on line and on the school yard for a while. In that, his school has been criticized for not acting early enough to prevent this preventable tragedy.

To add insult to injury, his mother was suggested by school to file the case as an accident as opposed to a suicide attempt, so that it’d give the case a valid reason for the insurance claim. Then on the get-well card sent to him following the incident, there was an insensitive message coming from his teacher calling his act as stupid. Also, on that there were a couple of anonymous short messages believed to be written by the bullies. Those three little words “Get well soon” were a bit cold comfort. That’s all they have to say. They didn’t sound sincere nor genuine. Perhaps driven by fear, pressure or public outcry, they didn’t even have the decency to put their names down.

From this, we can see words hurt, sometimes words can kill. This is a case got reported by the media and brought to light. No one would argue it’s an isolated one. But imagine how many cases are out there that haven’t been uncovered? We just don’t know. But one thing for sure, the number won’t be zero.

So, how did he become an easy, soft target for bullying among his peers? Why did he get picked on? When I heard of the reason, I was dismayed and appalled. The types of bullying he had to endure were staggering. He was subjected to names calling (sissy) that followed him everywhere, systematic intimidating, teasing and harassing taking place in the school’s change room. His gentle soul and persona got him into trouble. The trouble lies in the fact he didn’t fit the stereotypes of dominant men which are deeply ingrained in our world – something that’s been passed down generation after generation and to this day, there’re still signs of reinforcing it. I don’t see anything wrong with portraying men as a strong character, but it needs to have a balance. Strength comes in many shapes and forms. If you look around, chances are the strongest people you’ve ever come across aren’t those who appear to be the loudest, but the calmest.

Relatively, weeks ago a news feed on my Facebook posted by SBS (Special Broadcasting Services) Australia, got me thinking long and hard on the subject. It was about a small school boy called Mitchell who went to the TV studio – a debate forum “Insight” telling the host and a group of audience about how he stood up to a bully and told this kid to stop being mean to his friend. Mitchell’s bravery and courage won him much admiration and applause from many viewers, but it shouldn’t just end there. Our schools, our workplaces and every corners of our society need more friends like Mitchell. We all can be the next Mitchell in our own tiny way. Remember 3 S’s to eradicate the bullying – See something, say something, stop something. That’s all it takes. Interestingly, what Mitchell discovered about the bully and shared it on the show was: the bully felt threatened when being confronted by him. Deep down bullies are weak, once their bad behaviours are interrupted, they lose power and the edge over other people.

Why do I feel so strongly about this topic? Because I’m no stranger to bulling. Growing up, I used to be that little boy got bullied a lot at school. Back then, the term for bullying didn’t even exist. That Taiwanese teenager’s ordeal resonated with me on a personal level which prompted me to write this post. I survived, a long time ago. Many people did as well. But some did not. They went to extremes to end their own lives to end the pain they could no longer bear. Bullying is like bacteria. If the environment is “right” for them, it’ll become a breeding ground for them to proliferate, they will do just that – spread. If we foster the environment that’s supportive and inclusive, bullies will have no place to cling on to.

Last, as this post draws to a close, I thought I’d ask: What advice would you give to the teenage self? For me, I’d tell myself: Strive to be the best version of yourself, embrace your differences and stay weird!

At just 16, Greta Thunberg is already out there sending the message of climate change to the world. I can foresee it’ll be her life’s work for a long time.

So, where were you at the age of 16 or 26 or 36? If you open a time capsule buried in the past, can you see what you were trying to achieve or already achieved back then? What about now? What are your career aspirations? Are you still searching for that something that’ll get you out of bed every morning? Something you’ll do again and again and never get sick and tired of, nor give up on. Then, there comes the roadblocks, self-doubts, uncertainties. What does it take to find your niche in life? Doing what you love doesn’t necessarily mean getting paid for it. If money isn’t in the cards, will you continue the same level of enthusiasm as if it was a paid job? When the only reward is nothing financial but something that gives you a sense of achievement and satisfaction, will you still be there till the end?

Before my family immigrated into Australia, my life in Taiwan from the day I was born was all about being competitive and passing all school exams. As a student, I was told to study hard and get good grades at school. It was the common sentiment shared among many parents. Who wouldn’t want their children to have a head-start, a well-paved career path and a higher socioeconomic status in the future? Though I was rarely one of those top students excelled at all subjects, it didn’t bother me to the slightest that I was just an “average” student.

I remember in our writing class, we were asked to write about “What do you want to do when you grow up?”, I think I said I want to be a teacher, a musician, a pianist. When I got a bit older, around my teenage years or something, I changed it to a journalist, a news reader, an actor, or a TV personality etc. As time went by, I didn’t end up pursuing interests or hobbies in those areas. Instead, I switched to one subject that I loved most – English. To be good at it, I spent the bulk of my time studying it, going to evening English classes, listening to English language programs on radio. I even hired American tutors to perfect my conversational skills. When I got better at it, Taiwan, a tiny island about the same size of Netherlands in Europe, was too small to my increasing appetite for success. I told my parents, I want to go to study in America. The West.

They took us to Australia in 1990. Over the course of two decades, I went following what was thought to be popular and mainstream – going to university, getting a corporate job and buying a property. I was lucky enough to achieve all that – graduating with a Bachelor degree from one of top universities in Australia, working for those well-known big companies and living the Great Australian dream in one of the most livable cities in the world. What more could I ask for? On paper, it looks alright. But behind the scenes, there were tones of torments. For example, I was jobless and living my life without any source of income in 2012 and 2013, while paying home mortgage and other bills. Gratefully, they were a thing of the past and I’m now in a better place mentally and physically, but that’s not to say I’m 100% done.

The notion of “Do what you were born to do” got me thinking recently. I first heard of it from a mutual friend of mine a few years ago. After she left a broken marriage, she decided to relocate to Singapore. Two years later she quite her 6-figure salary job altogether. Then she became this person on a mission to find her purpose in life. At that time, it all sounded too New Age to me, something I wasn’t too fond of nor interested in. So, I went through the motions without paying too much attention. But lately the idea has re-surfaced. Perhaps it’s because I’m at a different stage of life. “Do what you were born to do” has come to me with a fresh meaning. I’m crystal clear about what I was brought to this world for – to be the voice of minorities and to break down stereotypes.

Minorities? What minorities? One way or the other, everyone will become part of minorities at least once in their life time. How so? Permanently or temporarily, we all have this identity or self-image that is seen as an outsider or even outcast by the society at large. For example, people in the LGBT community, a single parent, a divorcée or divorcé, people who have been bullied or abused, people who have been laid off etc. All can be classified as minorities. When a crisis arises, a large proportion of people in these groups tends to experience some form of mental illness – depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.

Admittedly, I have my fair share of shit moments, but I didn’t go through those rough patches for nothing. Have been a minority on many fronts, though once was too painful to bear, it’s given me the ability to empathize and relate to people’s struggles similar to mine. I’ll continue to use this platform as the voice of minorities and help whoever reads it build life skills from there…

Climate change. Who cares? I know Greta Thunberg does. Who is she? The 16 year old Swedish school girl, a climate activist, a Ted Talks speaker, now a nominees for The Nobel Peace Prize 2019, made world headlines for her “school strike for climate” protest. Started out as one person herself in August 2018, it’s since attracted more than a million of students around the globe to do just that. How could the power of one grow to a gigantic size and become a world phenomenon in such a short space of time?

Not surprisingly, the news coverage and social media all played a part. They helped spread her word but did people buy it? It’s interesting to see how the event unfolded. In the very beginning, she was literally an unknown teenager. When she first learned about climate change, she was appalled by a lack of action from the government. Her frustration got to the point where she decided to skip classes and stand outside the Swedish Parliament protesting. On day one, she was there alone with the sign saying “Skolstrejk för klimatet”. The next day, more people noticed her and started to join in. Her movement captured the worldwide attention. Teens from over a hundred countries were so inspired by her, they went following in her footsteps. In that, we’ve seen groups of young students around the globe carry the same message demanding their government to act against climate change.

What does this tell us? To be honest, at first, I thought she was just a kid hating school. Protesting was a convenient excuse for not turning up classes. Am I the only person thought that way? Surely not. But my wrong assumption of her highly publicized motive quickly dissipated as I learned more about her. I began to see her larger than life character in 2 ways.

• She turned her belief in “doing the right thing” for our planet into action even it meant going on her own.
• She’s the epitome of the power of one.

What about you? What quality have you got in you that can make people want to stop and listen to you or follow you? If you’ve got what it takes, bring it out! Risk it! We can all start small, can’t we? We can all start alone, can’t we? Are you willing to embark on a solo journey, be an unsung hero in your own right, even when no one knows you exist?

When it comes to the environment, everyone can do something about it no matter how insignificant it may sound. My recent experiences related to this subject were a mixed bag. A few months ago while I was bush walking with my dog in a local reserve, I happened to see something annoying – a big re-usable plastic bag dumped on the shore. Because it was right near where my favourite spot was, I took it very personally. Seeing the area being littered like this, my immediate reaction was: Who’s the bastard? I kept mumbling why would anyone do such a thing to trash our environment. It bothered me so much that I decided to walk all the way back and put it in the nearest bin roughly some 800 metres away, not to mention I had to put up with the bad smell/rotten seafood coming out of the bag. Two weeks later, when I returned, I saw an envio bag hanging up on a tree with a few words written in block letters “IF YOU CARE PLEASE TAKE A BAG HELP CLEAN UP THANK YOU” (pictured). This time I was moved by it. Someone out there who was also caring and smart enough to know that if one day our Earth is too sick to survive, we’re all going to suffer. No amount of success or money can compensate for it. Agree?

Finally, before this post draws to a close, I thought I’d mention the common real estate mantra location location location. We say it repeatedly to highlight the importance of the location and how it can dictate the value of a home. But the location itself only reveals half of the truth. It’s the environment that makes or breaks business at the end. If the environment can shape who we are as a person, it certainly has the same capability to determine our destiny. The good news is it’s in our hands. The bad news is it’s also in our hands…

Complaining is part of life. We complain just about everything from traffic, money, weather, waiting in a queue, bad customer service, work, to our partner, family, sometimes even ourselves. You name it. There’re times when complaining is essential. There’re also times when complaining is a complete waste of time and energy. We know complaining can serve us well when we have a strong case and we’re looking to improve a situation. We also know complaining can produce no good results when we just want to vent. Ironically, people on the receiving end often put up with our ranting without complaining. Most of time we don’t even realize it till we see the big picture. What? The big picture? Read on and you’ll see why.

In February/March 2016, all our Sydney staff were sent to Melbourne for a 3-day conference. I was both excited and nervous as I’d never been to Melbourne. Only the night before I was due to fly, then I started to pack my personal belongings. My goal was to travel as light as possible. On the day I arrived at the airport, I was a little bit late. So, I was in a mad rush to get my check-in done. Luckily, my checked baggage was sorted within minutes thanks to the fast Self Service Check-in facilities. As I proceeded to a security screening point, I realized I had a piece of nail scissors in my carry-on baggage. Damn! I should’ve put it in my checked baggage but there was no turning back. No surprise, it was confiscated and dumped into a bin. The customs officer who caught it and threw it away, looked at me as if I was a terrorist. I wasn’t happy, but time was running out, I’d better hurry up or I’d miss my flight. A few minutes later, I saw my colleagues still standing at the gate and waiting. None of them had boarded the plane. It gave me a peace of mind. Great! It wasn’t too bad after all. Feeling hugely relived, I thought finally I can pace myself and take it easy. I went up to them to join their conversation. While there soon I found myself starting to complain about my bad experience just then. Interestingly, at that point, a colleague next to me was scrolling through pages and pages of his photo albums on the phone. I happened to see a picture of him – a shaved head with stitches around his skull. It looked like someone had cut it open with a knife or scissors then put staples back on to close it again. It was quite scary to watch. Right there and then, I stopped. I realised my complaint was nothing compared to the image I’d just seen. I felt a bit embarrassed, almost ashamed. But out of curiosity, I went to ask him what was that all about. He said he was diagnosed with a brain tumour a few years ago. Following that he underwent a brain operation to have it removed. It was a success. Then, he was treated with a chemotherapy to ensure the monster never return again. That picture of him was taken not long after the surgery was done. Who would’ve known that years later it turned out to be the big picture for me to see what really matters at the end of the day.

What if you’re the one who receives complaints? One of my friends who was in a managerial position had a smart way of handling chronic complaints from her staff. She’d listen to them patiently, then hit back with the big question like: So, what do you suggest doing to change it? This would put them in problem-solving mode as opposed to just sitting there and whinging about it.

Next time, when you catch yourself or someone complaining about something that’s clearly not worth your time and attention. You know those types of complaints – just whining and whining. Whether it’s done in person, on the phone or in social media, think big!

The big picture: Does it matter at the end of the day?

The big question: What do you suggest doing to change it?