Ted Tsai

One is not a lonely number.

Some people are uncomfortable with solitude, fearing that if they have spent too much on their own, they will be predisposed to the feeling of loneliness.

Solitude is not about losing touch with someone or something on purpose or being disconnected from the outside world or the mainstream because of circumstances.

Solitude is a lifestyle choice. It is a practice of observing own body, mind and soul, and our relationship with nature around us, in a setting that is free of judgement and force.

Three things that I have learned from being in a state of solitude are:

1. Life evolves. I don’t need to be more or less than what I already am to go with it.
2. Sun rises, sun sets. The universe has always its own set of course and timing.
3. Mother nature is bigger than you. Show some respect.

I have also found that after a period of solitude, I have more new things to talk about and share with family and friends when I am back in civilization. Overall, it makes me an interesting guy to be around.

Remember, solitude doesn’t choose you, you choose solitude. And yes, I hear solitude loud and clear every time: One is not a lonely number. One is a lovely number…

If I have to name only one benefit coming out of this pandemic, then it would be this is the first time on a global scale that we have been forced to slow down – the opportunity to reflect on our lives.

What are things that mattered to you then but don’t really matter to you now?

Recently I’ve spent more time with my parents. To coincide with their physical levels, I intentionally chose the areas that require less strenuous efforts but are still stimulating enough for them to get up and keep active.

We took a walk across the bridge, then came back sat near the water, soaked up the sun and watched the day go by. What’s more, we had this cute goose family to keep us company. The simple pleasures…

Sometimes life’s a bitch. Yes, sometimes…

Much of how I plan my day is at the mercy of weather. After all, you want to be in tune with Mother Nature. If you don’t watch her temperaments carefully, she will turn your day into night, and your night into a very long night. Just don’t mess with her.

We saw gusty winds rampage through Sydney in the last few days. Coupled with the high level of pollen count, it would’ve aggravated my hay fever and made my nose sneeze and run like a tap.

Tempting weather is like tempting fate. Not the smartest idea. I told myself I’d better stay at home and be a good boy. So yes, I was a homebody. Well, it wasn’t all that bad.

In some parts of the world, staying home is not an option, it’s a law, it’s an order. 2020, to have become this way? Who would’ve thought? At least, I have a choice. There’s something to be grateful about every day.

A relief came on Sunday as winds finally died down, it was a golden opportunity to go out and about and soak up the sun.

I headed to my favourite beach to have some me time. Accompanied by sun, ocean and sand, I thought I had necessary ingredients to feeling on top of the world. Strong sea breeze felt particularly chilly on this side of the cliff where I was standing, soon I lost my enthusiasm for this spot. It was gone with the wind!

No doubt spring is in the air in the southern hemisphere but don’t get too excited yet. Never underestimate the tail of winter – it still lingers. What can I say? Be good to Mother Nature, always expect the unexpected.

Before I came up with a Plan B and went somewhere else, a short distance away, I saw two grey haired women in about their 60’s, sitting up straight, in a comfortable position, facing each other. The postures suggested they were doing some form of meditation. Noticeably undeterred by what was happening outside, a look of simple contentment and clam nature was written all over their faces – a direct contrast to the wild wild world out there.

The thing is, you don’t get to negotiate with Mother Nature, you don’t argue with her, you just respect that sometimes she has her moments, too.

Chances are we don’t often have a say in our circumstances, it is what it is. I guess my life is like a camera lens, I get what I focus on. Sometimes life’s a bitch, at the moment life’s a beach (as I’m writing)…

No touch, use hand sanitiser, social distancing, wearing a mask… We may be physically safe from harm, but let’s not forget, mentally, we need to stay engaged even when we are by ourselves.

Here is my favourite part of the beach – quiet and peaceful. This hidden gem has been my weekend escape for several years. But in recent months, I have seen an influx of people coming here to do some “touristy” things. How annoying!

Two weekends ago I was here again. As soon as I arrived, I was turned off by the crowd and their noises. After staying for around ten minutes, I lost interest. Before I was about to leave for somewhere else, I don’t know what it was, maybe some unknown force, I turned and took one last look.

There he was, a lone figure, sitting on the top of the cliff, I couldn’t take my eyes off this guy. He had what I call a cool rugged look – the man bun hairstyle, the stubble, sunglasses.

He was playing a guitar. With nature providing the beautiful backdrop – the sun, the blue sky, the ocean, the sea breeze and the bush, minus people – a sharp contrast of the irritating crowded scene earlier. I found myself gravitating towards his sole presence and the zen like serenity around him, I decided to climb up there and get a bit closer to him.

To ensure that I would not distract him and his music, I waited for a short while before plucking up the courage to approach him and say hi.

His name is Francesco from Argentina. I remember I asked him these ice breaker questions “Are you an artist? Were you playing a song that you wrote yourself?”. He smiled back and said: No, I was just practising some tunes from internet.

As he called it: Nature brought us together. We hit it off very quickly and found ourselves enjoying various topics such as life, nature, Tibetan Buddhism, meditation, my dog, a book entitled Four Agreements which he recommended, and the tattoos on his wrists – One was Surf, the other was Freedom.

He called himself a loner and he said it with full conviction. It struck me. I responded, I guess I am a loner, too but I don’t like the word loner and I don’t call myself a loner, there are too many negative connotations attached to it, I would rather call myself individual. I then added that my dog was a loner, too, that’s why we got along.

As the sun started to set and the temperature began to drop, it was nature’s way of hinting that it was time for us to go separate ways.

That night when I got home, I could not stop thinking about those words he said. Very inspiring!

The next day when I woke up in the morning, I decided outright, to be true to myself and call myself a loner…