Month: April 2021

Are you doing what you love? If not, why not?

It may sound counter-intuitive, but let’s face it, doing what you love isn’t easy. It’s a lot harder than doing not what you love.

You don’t simply drop everything, switch off and switch on and you are on the way to finding your calling. Sabotage, stereotypes, resistance, expectations, distractions and judgement from self, family, friends, or even strangers, and social media etc, are some of greatest challenges faced by anyone who wishes to do what they love. People will want to have a say in your new venture. Are you going to cave in?

Doing what you love comes at a price, doing not what you love also comes at a price. Which one can you afford?

It doesn’t surprise me that people are more likely to regret for things they haven’t done, than for things they have done wrong. What it’s telling us is plain and simple, loud and clear.

For me, doing what I love is a choice, a conscious choice. It’s a responsible thing to do for my life.

The other day a friend asked me if I’m now a full time YouTuber. I paused, then laughed. The short answer is Yes.

I’m a complete beginner. That’s OK. My newest hobby is far cry from anything I’ve done before. That’s OK. The channel is in its infancy, many light years away from becoming a household name. That’s OK. At least, I’m doing what I love. How long will I do it for? That’s a good question. The answer is until I don’t love it anymore.

But what about job security, financial security, money and all that? No, I don’t get any of those, yet. It’s a price I have to pay for doing what I love. That’s OK.

While I am all in, it doesn’t mean I haven’t psyched myself up or thought about a Plan B or some kind of fallback plan, in case things go pear-shaped down the track.

Dr. Doris Brougham, the founder of a popular English teaching magazine Studio Classroom in 1962 in Taiwan, now in her 90’s is still teaching English on the radio. She’s living proof that do what you love and you will last, as the longevity of her chosen career has shown.

Doing what we love is rewarding in itself but it doesn’t just stop there. What’s more, when we do what we love, we get in the flow, we are in the zone. We feel much happier and more fulfilled. That to me is priceless…

Things happen for a reason. But we don’t always know what it is.

One of the frequently asked questions in a job interview is, Why did you leave your last job? or Why do you want to leave your current employer? The truth of the matter is, if the real reason is not going to serve you well, don’t tell. Instead, give a politically correct, positive-sounding response. It goes to show, when the stakes are high, we tend to gloss over our intention to leave a place.

The same applies to people. Sometimes we will never know why they chose to leave us.

Last year my life was affected by a string of unfortunate events, I was feeling down and low most of the time. We know talking things over can help. A friend of mine and his wife were kind enough to offer to meet up one Sunday afternoon in June.

We spent a few good hours at my favourite beach. I was touched by the warmth of their sympathy and support. I remember when I returned home that night, I sent him a thank you text message and said how much I was grateful for the conversation.

Little did I know that was it, I would never hear from him again.

The whole thing left me feeling confused. I even doubted myself at one point. Did I say something that might’ve upset him that day? I couldn’t think of anything wrong or inappropriate. Two more attempts at contacting him still didn’t get anywhere. At the end, I decided to let it go.

People come and go. Things change. Circumstances evolve, develop and redevelop. We move on, we go our separate ways as a result.

We don’t always know the motive behind their leaving. Some people like to tell it like it is, some prefer to sugarcoat it or give a polite answer, some use the infamous line “It’s not you, it’s me”, some say no words then go quietly. Whether it justifies or not, one thing we can be sure of is, the bond has loosened, the substance has cracked.

Is it that important to know why people leave? Will it ever satisfy us if we do find out why? It’s hard when we are not the ones who call the shots.

The thing that brought us together in the first place doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be something that keeps us together in the long run. Over time, some relationships become meaningful and deep, some become causal and shallow, some simply drift apart.

And? I believe in the chemistry. In the midst of searching high and low for an answer, it really helps me explain why people come and why people go…