Month: March 2021

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I Accept

Acceptance is hard to do. It feels like admitting defeat, a surrender to control.

Now older and wiser. I’ve learned the hard way.

Acceptance takes many forms depending on the situation you are in. For me, acceptance is about coming to terms with the reality and letting go of things in the category of “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, might’ve”.

Well into the mid life, I’ve reached the point of no return, a stage I see as it’s now or never.

I no longer feel obliged to fulfil other people’s expectations on me. By that I’m saying I’ve decided to do my own thing, once and for all.

Change involves risks, so does staying put, not wanting to change. With this in mind, it won’t be that scary to venture into the unknown.

Over the course of my longstanding career, for two and an half decades, I’ve always been a white collar guy climbing the corporate ladder. After being made redundant in early 2020, an event I later realised a blessing in disguise, I’ve had the opportunity to slow down and explore the next avenues – be my own boss, a free agent.

The idea of working for others has begun to wane. I think I’m done with that. Every time I look at those job ads on Seek or LinkedIn, I get a feeling of distaste. I want to meet the people who wrote them and tell them: Get real!

How does acceptance come into play here? In the pursuit of doing what I was born to do, finding my niche and my calling, I accept:

EVERYTHING

When I accept everything, it’ll come as no surprise whatever I meet with along the way – people, things, events.

When I accept everything, I’m not saying I approve of it, I’m saying I simply acknowledge their existence, like it or not.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I don’t want to accept everything.

When I accept everything, it also includes at times when I’m not accepted by everything.

Strangely enough, when I accept everything, everything seems to become nothing…

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Be My Own Therapist For A Day

In the past few days I had an uneasy feeling, a mild form of anxiety. Why? My dentist appointment is coming up, my car registration will be due in a month or so and I still have no idea of what my job prospects would look like. Anyway, all sorts of things.

Then the other day, I went back to review those long posts I wrote on Facebook in 2020. It reminded me how shitty the year it was for my life. Compared with now, I must say what I’m anxious about is nothing.

Everyone is a marketer of their public faces. We all try to make ourselves look good on social media. But only when you’re honest with yourself, will those candid words of yours save the day. That’s the power of authentic writing.

In recent months I’ve devoted the bulk of my time to filmmaking. I see it as an extension of my writing journey. It’s addictive. Mind you, it’s not all fun and games.

Some of you probably know I like spending time around nature – beaches and bushes. So it should come as no surprise that the content I’ve created is centred on these settings.

First thing I’ve learned from the filmmaking process is: Nature has its own set of timing. You only get one shot at it. You can’t ask nature to do it again or rehearse each scene over and over. If you missed out the sunset, c’est la vie. Come back next time. Still no guarantee it’ll be smooth sailing going forward.

The second thing I’ve learned is: Unpredictability. No matter how much you’ve prepared and practiced in advance, you can never predict what’s going to happen next. For example, I was in the middle of introduction on the set, then a few seconds later, before I was about to wrap up, a plane was flying over affecting the sound quality. What can you do? Do it again. That’s life!

The third thing I’ve learned is: Bloopers are bound to happen. Unplanned and uncensored. No worries! Have a laugh. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Forget about perfection. Often, in the end it’s those unexpected, unscripted, spontaneous, out-of-nowhere funny moments that become legendary and memorable.

After being my own therapist for a day, what can I say? In a few words, writing and filmmaking have saved me. They are an antidote to my anxiety. Best of all, all natural remedy, repeat as necessary, no prescription required…

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We Get Desensitised

Too much of the same thing, good, bad or ugly, we lose interest very quickly. Even with the best of intentions, the novelty will eventually wear off overtime.

The other day I decided to un-follow those Facebook pages that I once loved. Why? I had enough. The spark was no longer there.

In the very beginning I simply skipped over those boring posts. As they’d become a bit same old, same old to me. At the end, I removed them all, in one stroke. Now my feeds look cleaner and tidier.

Imagine someone keeps telling you the same old story over and over again. If it’s a good news, you may feel happy for them at first. But later, when you hear it long enough, it’ll start to sound like a broken record. Likewise, if it’s something a bad news, you may feel sorry for them at first. But later, when you hear it too often, you will start to feel a bit numb.

When I was working in the city CBD, I noticed most people just couldn’t care less about the homeless people or beggars on the street or outside a mall. Not that they had no sympathy towards them. They got desensitised. It’s sad but true, it’s same bunch of people sitting there day in day out, nothing has changed. We get used to seeing them this way.

Fortunately or unfortunately, our brain is biased. In this day and age, information overload is the norm. When a news repeatedly filters through to our head space during the day, our attention span will only get shorter and shorter. Consequently it will no longer touch us.

It’s no wonder someone like me has become very selective. To make sure my listeners or followers stay engaged, focused and interested, it’s important to keep the stuff I share original. The best cure for boredom is creativity.

And the last word? Repeat after me. Say it once, not twice: We are only humans. We get desensitised…