With no sign of stopping, negative and positive thoughts are two longtime enemies constantly battling in my head.
I admit I’ve been feeding the hungry monster but I know I’m not alone. Maybe it’s time to take a bolder approach, even if it means fake it to make it. I say to myself: Dare to dream big.
To declare your long forgotten passion, what’s better than writing it down? Well, I’m not known as the most popular or the loudest or the most confident person in the room, I suppose I’ve never intended to be one anyway… but give me a pen and a piece of paper, some innate power will start to flow through. What is it like? It’s addictive. You forget to eat, to drink, to go to toilet or to sleep.
I love the moment when the outpouring of creativity and imagination is coming at me. It’s like opening the floodgates, I can write as if there’s no tomorrow. Different from the pack, writing to an introvert like me is a way of expressing confidence. However, over the years I’ve allowed the harshest critic to ridicule it. As a notorious perfectionist, no surprise I’m that critic.
Part of me knows the passion is still in my blood and tonight I don’t why or what’s “right” with me, I’m letting my thoughts run as freely as possible. Perhaps I’ve reached the tipping point. You realize the way to mute the negative voice is to keep doing what the critic wants you to stop doing.
I can see this is only a beginning. Nothing is tangible yet. Hope it’s not a passing fad or some short-lived adrenalin-driven enthusiasm. I shall be watching this space with interest. 🔍❤️🌏
So, what is this all about? In my wildest dreams, I have this book written by me, then adapted, made into a blockbuster movie and most importantly, directed by Ang Lee, a two-time Academy Award winner for Best Director. I’ve been talking big here, now I need to act big. Very keen to review this post in 5 to 10 years time to see what stage of life I’ll be at… 📽🎞📷 PS: I’ve edited this post several times before I feel comfortable posting it. It goes to show practice makes perfect. It’s especially important for someone from an non English speaking background trying to get his message across and hoping to make a mark globally.
One of reasons why I admire Ang Lee and his works so much is his “silliness” to challenge and reinvent himself. He doesn’t shy away from the “reality” or the “status quo”. He continues to explore the impossibles in the face of unknown even it means carrying the anxiety 24/7. I remember he said in an interview that he carried the anxiety every day for 4 years when making the movie Life of Pi.
Of course Hollywood doesn’t speak his mother tongue but the journey he’s taken to get him where he is today, the respect he’s earned from people within the industry and the stories he’s told to entertain and educate us around the world, if you are lucky enough to get a call from him one day, trust me, you’d love to speak the same language as his…
Ted Tsai 