An artist, a doer
Thoughts can be your enemy. Thoughts can also be your ally.
Our thoughts may not be disposable. But our thoughts are definitely replaceable.
If a thought is working against rather than for you, what are you going to recycle it with? Ted Tsai
Let’s face it. Even with good intentions, we all think negatively sometimes. Beating yourself up when you think in a negative way? It’s not going to bring you any positive outcome. So, what’s the point?
The key thing is to find ways of transforming the thinking pattern so that it doesn’t eat up the rest of your day. But how?
In September last year, I happened to see Dr Karl Kruszelnicki at Dymocks city bookstore on a book-signing event, for his latest book entitled: Karl, The Universe and Everything.
I’ve always been drawn by his wit and in-depth knowledge of many things – good, bad, beautiful and ugly. Sometimes even stuff you feel shy, embarrassed or ashamed to talk about, he writes about it.
Out of curiosity, I went to pick up one copy and had a quick browse while there. One chapter called Earworm really struck me.
I was fascinated by the well-researched information, particularly some good tips on how to get rid of earworms. To my surprise, chewing gum is said to be the most effective way to date.
If you don’t know what earworm means, according to Cambridge Dictionary, it means a song that you keep hearing in your head.
In my previous experience, an annoying song (I won’t name it here) was playing in my head again and again. It was spinning like a broken record, just driving me insane. It happened while I was out and about around a beach. All up, it lasted two hours.
How did I stop it eventually? As soon as I got home, I turned on my stereo and played one of my favourite songs on repeat. It was an instant cure! A gentle and effective way to kill an earworm, with no side effects! Of course, that song I played didn’t become another earworm. Even if it had, it wouldn’t have bothered me.
Well, that’s not the end of the story. To satisfy my inquiring mind, I wanted to know more. I wanted to find out if there’s a correlation between negative thoughts and earworms.
What if we start treating negative thoughts like earworms? Try chewing gum? Will playing my favourite 80’s songs help? Interesting huh? Well, that’ll be my next project. Watch this space.
For now, I’m going to leave you with something to chew on here. Till next time, stay tuned!
Failure shouldn’t be a dirty word, but we treat it like one.
If success is a commodity, then failure is the currency. After crunching the numbers, I realized you simply can’t trade success without failure.
In the process, no money laundry is required… Ted Tsai
Undeniably, many of us want to be treated like a special person. The question is what does it take to be one? Or I should really say what do you have to give to be one?
Not boasting here but believe it or not, I often get VIP treatment from retail stores. Things like freebies, samples and discounted items. What’s the secret?
There’s a bit psychology behind it. It’s about building a close relationship with the sales person you are dealing with.
Sounds a little too vague or too broad? In fact, it really all boils down to making the other person feel as special as you want yourself to be.
The starting point is to go out of your way to create a memorable experience. For me, it’s:
Say I’m in a shop and have been hovering around a merchandise for an extended period. This generally sends out a strong message to the shop that I want to buy something from them.
In turn, it’s an open opportunity for them to approach me and remember my face as a customer. If we interact and connect well on a personal level and I really like the goods, then I may take it straight away without making a fuss.
Later If I have a chance to go back to the shop on a second or third visit, I’ll look for the same sales person who served me in the first place, just to say hello and make small talk. My typical opening line is: Hey, do you remember me? I was here last time. I bought this and that…
As a returning customer, it’s amazing how people reward you for your continuous support especially if you have the big buying power. They may give you a complimentary gift in return. Of course, if you ask nicely, they’ll also be happy to offer you a special discount or throw in an extra for free. This has worked for me 9 out of 10 times. But buyer beware! Be prepared to walk away when it doesn’t work for you. There’re plenty more fish in the sea.
If I can sum up in just a few words:
Lastly, never take their kindness or generosity for granted. The moment you stop showing appreciation, it’s also the time you give your power away and potentially lose the VIP status. After all, in a particular order, it’s a matter of give and take, not take and give…
In the digital age we live in, it’s important to be emotionally intelligent, both in person and online.
Remember, if someone pushes your buttons, just stay calm, then gently and firmly push one of these buttons back – OFF or DELETE… Ted Tsai
Sniff sniff. I smell change on my way.
Change may be inevitable but complaint is not. Don’t forget: There’re plenty more fish in the sea… Ted Tsai
That night when Ang Lee won the best director of The Oscars 2013, for his work on “Life of Pi”, I was cheering loud in my living room! He really made me a proud Taiwanese.
Since his 1993 gay feature film “The Wedding Banquet” that scored a nomination in the best foreign film category of The Oscars, I’ve been so inspired by his journey to success in the movie industry, in the mainstream of Hollywood and beyond. So much so that I dreamed one day I’ll write a book or a screenplay that will be made into a film, directed by Ang Lee.
With two Academy Awards for best director under his belt: 2005’s “Brokeback Mountain” & 2013’s “Life of Pi”, no doubt he’s one of the most successful film makers in the world. Needless to say, he’s been my mentor – someone I’ve looked up to.
An unknown writer like me, I’ve finally reignited my passion for writing and rekindled my growing desire to write “that book” again – something that has been on the back of my mind for so long.
At one stage, I was considering doing some postgraduate course at uni but then as a writer I really don’t want to be bounded by or restricted to certain rules. It really needs to be organic and true to my original style. That is, when people read it, they know it’s me talking, not some academic guru lecturing.
Looking back, I actually met Ang Lee face to face in 1994 during The Asia-Pacific Film Festival in Sydney where his feature film “Eat Drink Man Woman” (another outstanding work of his) won best picture. It was a very rushed moment but I got to say hello and had his autograph signed on the back of the movie ticket I bought that day.
My first impression of Ang Lee? He came across as a humble, modest and quiet achiever. Today, even more successful and recognisable than ever, he is still the same person in that regard. He hasn’t let “success” go to his head or change who he is. He is really an inspiration and I just can not praise him highly enough.
You can be someone from a minority group or whatever. When you strive to achieve that top honour in any games or competitions, you may require to work twice as hard or even more, but you are still entitled to win. Success is still there for you to grab, to reach and to hold. Now, I don’t see my dreams as just dreams, they are my ambitions.
Writing has been a good escape for me, a healthy retreat indeed, a not-so-guilty pleasure now. It’s not a way of evading the reality, in fact, quite contrary to the myth, it really allows me to see the facts more clearly and sensibly. I should and I will continue this writing journey whenever I can.
Everyday’s a new start. Thanks for reading…
Chatswood Mall Market is a hectic place. There’s a good variety of market stalls to please all sorts of shoppers including food from around the world – Greek, Spanish, Turkish, Japanese, Chinese, Malaysian, Taiwanese, you name it. It also features a live musical entertainment in a wide range of genre every week.
“Citizen of The World” was the band busking one Friday evening some time ago. In fact, it was the second time I saw them there. Even though I was much drawn by their tune the very first time, I didn’t stay to watch them play. It was all because I was in a mad rush to do my grocery shopping.
It took me the second time to stop and immerse myself in their music. I found myself gravitating towards the energy and the emotions flowing through the band members. It felt as if the lead singer was singing for me especially when he was interpreting a very powerful ballad or a sad song as he called it. I could tell he must’ve sung it from his heart. It was very moving.
Captivated by their musical style, I decided to own it on the spot. Counted to 3, I took a few quick steps towards the centre stage, put a ten dollar note inside an open guitar case that already had some loose coins and notes lying around, then grabbed a copy of their latest EPs “Memories In My Head” from a box. For some reason, I was a bit nervous to get so close to them but I felt like they needed my support, so I just went for it.
Later that night I found the band’s Facebook page and decided to write them a text message to say how much I loved their gig. To my surprise, a couple of hours later the band members responded with thanks and some really kind words. One said it makes his day. The truth is they made my day as much as I made theirs.
I guess any one of us can be just another face in the crowd, but the thing is we all the power to make a difference to someone’s day even in a smallest fashion. I’d love to see the band make a name for themselves one day and continue to touch people through their songs.
Next time, if you happen to see an artist or a band playing a gig you like, why not stop, look and listen to the music. It’ll mean a lot to them…
PS: It gave me a great pleasure when they shared this post on their Facebook page.
When are you due for another dentist visit? Do you dread the day till it’s over? If you do, I feel for you.
In my case, I was almost 6 months overdue for the next dental check-up. I let it slip my mind for a long time. But hey I had good excuses. I led a busy life. I didn’t have time blah blah blah.
One morning out of blue, I decided it’s time to get off my back side and act, so I called my dentist.
It took less than two minutes to make the appointment and as soon as it was booked, the anxious feeling went away.
What’s easier, the day I had it done, it wasn’t as painful as I’d anticipated. In fact, the whole experience was so relaxing that I almost dozed off on the dental chair!
Now looking back, I’ve come up with two questions.
Question One: Why did I put it off for months and months?
Not surprisingly, my procrastination was largely to do with fears:
The next question: What prompted me to make that phone call at last? The quick answer is: Pressure.
I was not self-motivated enough till the pressure started to mount. Where did the pressure come from? The deadline! As they say, if you don’t use it, you lose it.
This experience has left me wondering if there’re any useful tools that can help reduce the likelihood of inaction or even better increase the chances of action.
In the process, I’ve found one technique to be effective:
As the year draws to a close, most of us will probably think of making new year’s resolutions. The intention is good but sometimes our yearly goals can be too big, too overwhelming and too scary. The challenge for me has always been how to make them stick.
Knowing what I’m like, what I’m good at and not good at, I’ll be trialing something new this time, I call it my new day’s resolutions as opposed to new year’s resolutions. It means taking small steps towards small goals in relatively shorter time frames. It’s about creating many small wins. After all, a small win is still a win…
I’ve been on the path to self-improvement for some months. As a strong advocate for life-long learning, I’ve found the process to be an eye-opener.
Each time I went exploring a new frontier – whether it was a new concept, a new mindset or a new skill, I was amazed by a sheer amount of knowledge the world had in store for us.
In the process I also had the privilege of sharing my personal journey with one senior manager in the office. Why him? Well, in our day-to-day interactions, whether it’s a casual talk or a deep discussion about work issues, he’s someone who has lots of experience under his belt. He’s someone I look up to but most importantly, I’ve never felt judged when I voice my opinions in front of him.
One morning we were just chit-chatting about life in general. When I briefly touched on the subject of leadership skills, he jumped straight to the heart of the matter and said: cultivating leadership skills is all about having a sense of entitlement.
I smiled and nodded in agreement, but looked slightly puzzled in anticipation of what he was going to say next.
He started by telling me an interesting case occurred in his former workplace, a renowned global company. According to him, people in the leadership positions have this unique trait – a sense of entitlement that separates them from the rest. Interesting huh?!
Before I dive into it, first though, let me ask you one quick question: Have you heard of charity snack boxes? I’ll explain the concept to you if you haven’t. It’s something designed to raise funds for an intended charity organisation.
The “deal” is you take one piece of snack (a lolly/candy, a chocolate bar or something similar) and insert one dollar coin into a small box provided (or whatever dollars specified on the boxes).
In Australia, you can see charity snack boxes in many places like on the reception desks or check out counters of some retail shops or banks etc.
So, what happened to his last workplace was the charity snack box on the executive floor never balanced, whereas the charity snack boxes on the non-executive floors almost always balanced every time.
My reaction up to that point was somewhat cynical. Perhaps the example given was morally or politically incorrect or overly generalised. But with a bit observation, the idea of entitlement started to ring true.
The moral of the story?
I could see how leaders carry themselves. They walk into a room like they own the place, they make themselves comfortable around people, they say hi to everyone they meet on the way. They make their presence visible, they also make their presence count.
Leaders may “borrow” what’s available on the table without asking for permission. Those “small” things in their eyes are probably nothing. But let’s be fair, behind their fancy offices and shining glass windows, they are a bunch of C level executives who also take risks not everyone is willing to take…
Ted Tsai 