Month: September 2019

Before I started this blog, my dearest and harshest critic – myself, had already tried his hardest to talk down the idea.

Questions like: What made you qualify to write this stuff? Are you an expert in this field? Who’s going to read it anyway? For some silly reason, all these negative self-talks were fueled by unfounded insecurity. It could explain why I spent many years sitting on the sidelines and why I became such a latecomer on the writing front.

Ironically, human nature is like this: We sabotage ourselves. It is only when we want something so badly, so bad that we must get up and act. Because you’ve used up all the excuses. No longer do you have the luxury of a last resort. That’s exactly what it is in my case.

In my approach to better understanding the subject matter, I see myself as a student, a learner on the go. Coming from this humble place, it’s enabled me to lay out my writing from a more practical and hands-on standpoint.

As I’m not habitually a happy-go-lucky person or a naturally born hardcore optimistic, writing then provides an outlet for me to crystallize my thoughts in a way that is less biased, judgmental and more balanced and articulate. It complements my effort not to overact in real time.

While no two experiences are alike, it is my hope that my posts have something to offer to readers, perhaps something that resonates well with you, gives you some food for thought or adds a bit value to your day…

One of most frequently asked questions during an interview: What are your weaknesses? seems to have scared the hell out of many applicants. Some people would dread facing this type of question fearing that something they say or not say may jeopardize the chances of landing a job.

Typically, when the stakes are high, so is the stress level. And the stress comes from the need to be perceived a strong person to the outside world. It’s our ego does the talking.

When I last came across this question during the interview process in 2013, I gave a clear and concise answer: I don’t like talking about too many negative things. The interviewer smiled. I thought OK it could be a good sign.

Apparently, there were total 89 applications received, only 5 people were shortlisted according to the HR manager. After going to three interviews, each with a different panel of interviewers, plus one psychometric test, I got the job eventually. Yes, I did win hearts and minds, but not without a fight. A fight to look my best.

Now, more than six years later, I have gained a better perspective on weaknesses. No surprise, I found a close correlation between weaknesses and strengths. They’re an inseparable unit from the same family after all.

Of course, questions along these lines aren’t just about weaknesses alone, they are intended to get you talk about self-awareness. For example, you may be asked about what action you’d taken to address own shortcomings or steps you’d followed to improve the imperfections. More importantly, the bottom line – what the results were.

For long we’ve labelled weaknesses as a black mark or shameful personality traits. We even have a stigma attached to them. However, I’ve noticed that those people who didn’t shy away from talking about their weaknesses, exhibited a great deal of courage and confidence in themselves. If we look more closely, our strengths really lie in our weaknesses. It takes strength to be vulnerable. That’s why there’s a fine line between weaknesses and strengths. Sometimes both are interchangeable.

Well, when all is said and done, where do I go from here? If I can start by saying I need to improve my time management, my sleep and I’m working on it. Now everyone knows, should I go hiding somewhere? I’m proud of myself for having the guts to say it out loud. Now, over to you!

It’s true that people love talking about themselves. But only when they feel comfortable about it.

We each have our own set of rules when it comes to the level of comfort. How our comfort increases or decreases depends on the people, events, things and time we are surrounded with. Basically these four indicators: Who, Where, What and When are the determining factors.

If you feel obliged to attend a social event, then chances are when you get there, you’ll probably have to make an extra effort to enjoy yourself and others. If it’s something you’ve been looking forward to, then naturally you’ll act in a way that you want to be there and have a good time. People will see that and respond to it accordingly.

So, what does it take to break the ice?

Back in 2016, I was invited to a lavish Christmas party hosted by a corporate travel agent and their sponsors. Judging by the fancy flyer (an on line version) I received, I expected t would be something big, bold and beautiful.

And? It didn’t disappoint. The atmosphere/energy was amazing – full of gourmet food, heady drinks and hundreds of interesting people. It seemed that everyone had one common goal in mind – networking, networking, networking.

It was exciting yet slightly daunting for me when I was steering through the venue not seeing anybody I knew. Well, except three travel managers whom I normally had contacted with on the telephone but never met in person. So, top on my agenda was to find them and put their faces to names. Luckily, everyone was given a name tag to be pinned on the clothes, I didn’t anticipate it’d be a too difficult task.

I went to grab a drink, did a bit people watching, hovered around the venue a few times to see where the main action was. Getting accustomed to the surroundings, the vibes and the party theme were all part of a strategy to put my mind at ease, just like a good warm-up you do before a major activity that type of thing. Once your muscles are more relaxed, you just go out there and do what you’ve trained or practiced to do.

As soon as I started to feel more comfortable, I decided to make small talk with a few random people, just to test out how far a casual conversation would take me to. Funnily enough, and this is true in many cases, way before we start to talk, our body language has already sent out a signal to a room of people. Basically, it tells them one of these two things:

1. Hey, you look interesting. I want to connect with you.
2. Oh No, please stay away from me, just leave me alone.

My inner radar was quickly on the look out for some like-minded people and it turned out the person whom I spent the most time with also had many things in common with me.

As I discovered, these four magical ice breakers worked wonderfully for me on that night. I’ll explain why below:

1. Names: People love talking about their names. The history, the background, the culture and how their parents chose their names in the first place. They might even tell you, why they decided to change their names later.
2. Travel: People love talking about their holiday destinations and adventures etc, the past, the present and the future.
3. Languages: If you speak a foreign language, for example Spanish. When you come across any native Spanish speaker, a few Spanish words exchanged here and there (combined with your cute accent) will get you noticed and bring you both closer.
4. Pets: Who wouldn’t love talking about their dog(s) or cat(s)? No explanations required here.

Lastly, even to your best possible effort, the results may not always be what you expected. That can happen. When all else fails, what do you do? Stay low-eye. But as soon as the music starts to play, just get up and dance! You never know who might come and dance next to you…

This is intended to be a short and sweet message…

I could wait till the stats have gone up to hundreds or thousands, but I wanted to do this now when the numbers still look ridiculously low.

My gratitude and special thanks to readers who have followed, read, browsed, liked or commented on my blog. You know who you are!

Ted