Move on!
I hear people say this all the times. Nice try but easier said than done!
Is there such a thing as you can just snap out of it and jump into the next chapter of your life without sweat? It surely sounds unbelievable to me. What’s with carrying through an old painful memory till time passes and heals you over? What can be done to shorten the process of getting over it and getting back on your feet again? If it’s been a treadmill day in and day out just to forget your problems and you haven’t seen any tangible results, isn’t it about time to gain a new perspective and redeem yourself? What does it take to get you there? Let’s explore it…
I remember how one troubled mind rested heavily on my shoulders a few years ago. So much so that it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Determined to give it a kick up the arse, I took my dog out to a beautiful hidden gem (pictured) that I discovered a few weeks prior. It was located in a lovely neighbourhood surrounded by leafy trees, an inner harbour and friendly locals. The walk proved to be a pleasant one but with a surprise twist.
How it started was, on my way back, I happened to meet an elderly lady who was standing in her front yard chatting away with a middle-aged man who was probably half of her age. They looked related so I just assumed they were a mother and a son. She gave me a smile as we were getting closer to the footpath near her, then she asked: What is the name of your dog? Jamie and he’s a boy, I responded. For another minute or two, I continued to stay up there and listen to her talking fondly about her grandchild living in Melbourne. Right then, just when I thought: Done with socialising, I should be heading off soon, she unexpectedly came around and asked me the same things again and again – the same questions about my dog’s name and all that. By that time, I got a pretty good idea about her condition. She was someone living with dementia.
It was such a sobering moment that I became a bit speechless, almost ashamed of myself for acting out my depressed feeling that way at the start of the day.
Ironically, the whole day I was trying the hardest to get this shit out of my head, then met this elderly lady who couldn’t even remember the most basic things just being said a few minutes earlier. In such vast contrast, it was more than enough to wake me up from my inner demons and insanity I was struggling with – I realized: I have choices and I have options.
If I want to, I can choose what I forget (or forgive for that matter). For some people who are battling with dementia, they don’t have that luxury. Interestingly, now I look back, I can’t pinpoint exactly what that troubled mind was all about then. It seems like a distant memory that’s not worth my time revisiting it. Funny how I thought by forgetting it, it would create a magic bullet for easing my troubled mind, in fact at the end it was the act of facing the problem that made a difference…
Ted Tsai 