Month: September 2018

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From Head Space To Outer Space

Feeling stuck in a rut? They say it’s all in your head. It sounds too familiar, doesn’t it? I don’t disagree with it. If we accept this statement is true, what does it leave us? What’s next? What do you do if a thought no longer serves you? If we can’t end the struggle for once and all, can we at least interrupt the thought pattern? Let’s dive in…

I admit sometimes I have the tendency to think the problems I’m dealing with are bigger than anyone else’s in the world. Of course, usually they are not but it just feels like that at times. It’s particularly true when I’m not in the right head space. What about you? I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Knowing thoughts can be distorted, exaggerated or dramatized, is there any technique we can adopt to help us break through what seems to be “just imaginable”? When a set of irrational beliefs spirals out of control, the challenge seems to become bigger. How do we find a way to keep things in perspective so that we don’t get sucked into a deep black hole. What’s the trick? Check this one out…

So near yet so far away. Only last week was my first time visiting Sydney Observatory, a delightful small gem hidden away from the Sydney CBD. What took me so long? Good question! I don’t think I can be excused for not doing it sooner considering I’ve been living in this city for more than 28 years. Anyway, even astronomy isn’t really your thing, it’s still worth paying a visit to this historical building (admission is free) or just exploring the surrounds. The hill behind the building offers some amazing views as you can see in this picture.

Shortly after I took some photos from there, I went back in the observatory. Immediately I was greeted by what appeared to be the only staff working that day. She was so friendly and bubbly that without a doubt gave the place a good feel to it. Following a brief induction, I walked into the first exhibition room on the right-hand side. A giant full-length poster inside a display window instantly grabbed my attention. It captured countless small stars in the universe through lenses of a telescope. Many of them just looked like white tiny dots to me. Standing in front of it for I can’t remember how long, suddenly, my outlook on so-called problems just shifted. Right there and then those huge problems or shitty stuff in life started to lose their strong hold over me.

From head space to outer space, it looks million miles away but my recent visit to Sydney Observatory has helped bridge the gap and allowed me to see things the “sizes” they are – No distortion, no exaggeration, no dramatization. It was an unexpected find in my own little universe…

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Got A Problem? Face It Before You Forget It

Move on!

I hear people say this all the times. Nice try but easier said than done!

Is there such a thing as you can just snap out of it and jump into the next chapter of your life without sweat? It surely sounds unbelievable to me. What’s with carrying through an old painful memory till time passes and heals you over? What can be done to shorten the process of getting over it and getting back on your feet again? If it’s been a treadmill day in and day out just to forget your problems and you haven’t seen any tangible results, isn’t it about time to gain a new perspective and redeem yourself? What does it take to get you there? Let’s explore it…

I remember how one troubled mind rested heavily on my shoulders a few years ago. So much so that it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Determined to give it a kick up the arse, I took my dog out to a beautiful hidden gem (pictured) that I discovered a few weeks prior. It was located in a lovely neighbourhood surrounded by leafy trees, an inner harbour and friendly locals. The walk proved to be a pleasant one but with a surprise twist.

How it started was, on my way back, I happened to meet an elderly lady who was standing in her front yard chatting away with a middle-aged man who was probably half of her age. They looked related so I just assumed they were a mother and a son. She gave me a smile as we were getting closer to the footpath near her, then she asked: What is the name of your dog? Jamie and he’s a boy, I responded. For another minute or two, I continued to stay up there and listen to her talking fondly about her grandchild living in Melbourne. Right then, just when I thought: Done with socialising, I should be heading off soon, she unexpectedly came around and asked me the same things again and again – the same questions about my dog’s name and all that. By that time, I got a pretty good idea about her condition. She was someone living with dementia.

It was such a sobering moment that I became a bit speechless, almost ashamed of myself for acting out my depressed feeling that way at the start of the day.

Ironically, the whole day I was trying the hardest to get this shit out of my head, then met this elderly lady who couldn’t even remember the most basic things just being said a few minutes earlier. In such vast contrast, it was more than enough to wake me up from my inner demons and insanity I was struggling with – I realized: I have choices and I have options.

If I want to, I can choose what I forget (or forgive for that matter). For some people who are battling with dementia, they don’t have that luxury. Interestingly, now I look back, I can’t pinpoint exactly what that troubled mind was all about then. It seems like a distant memory that’s not worth my time revisiting it. Funny how I thought by forgetting it, it would create a magic bullet for easing my troubled mind, in fact at the end it was the act of facing the problem that made a difference…

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OCD Your Flaw Or Your Gift?

The fact is we all have something. I decided to write a post about OCD here, a condition I’ve wrestled with for years since I was kid. No doubt facing my own imperfection in a public domain on my blog can be very confronting but that’s exactly the reason why I’m doing it and will keep doing till it’s not hard anymore. It’s funny when you set out to combat your fears head on, the very first step you take, you effectively reduce their significance and impact. As to why it works, I’m sure there’s a whole bunch of scientific theories behind it. But when the results can speak for themselves, I’m happy to take a lazy approach and not dive in to the deep, dry stuff.

Much has been said about OCD in print and on line. For those ones I’ve researched on, they all offered valuable insights into this sometimes-misunderstood mental illness. It was very fascinating to read some of those lines that described the symptoms that I was too familiar with. Anyone who’s interested in this topic can Google it and find many useful links and sites available. In short and in plain language, OCD is a form of anxiety disorder. The rituals associated with it are simply ways of coping mechanism. The very core of OCD is about controlling.

Contrary to the common views on OCD which see it as a mental illness and for the most sufferers who may even regard their OCD as something shameful, I now have a completely different take on it. In recent years I’ve begun to recognise the positive aspects of OCD. Things like great powers of observation, strong attention to detail and an acute sense of order and organization, all these are character traits ingrained in people with OCD. For me, anything that requires precision, accuracy and quality control, I’m up for it and can create amazing results. It’s about turning the infamous flip side of OCD and transferring it into something I can use to my advantage. The process doesn’t involve changing the person I am. I believe the skill set revolves around those tedious rituals that people with OCD perform is the same skill set that required to achieve great successes in life. The trick is to shift the focus area to something that’ll bring meaningful achievements.

Looking back at my journey, the hardest part wasn’t dealing with OCD itself. It was accepting it and worrying less about what others may think of me. It took me years and years to get there. All I can say conclusively is the only way to “come clean” is really to be comfortable with who you are. I was born this way for a reason and after years of questioning, struggling and battling, I no longer see my OCD as inner demons but as an innate gift… Very blessed!