Tag: Writing

Getting older is not a choice, but getting wiser is.

Back in the day when I was still doing New Year’s resolutions, I would set myself a series of goals to achieve in the next 12 months. While I tried to be as specific as possible, there was one thing I dared not write down: retirement at 50.

Too young? I thought it was just wishful thinking, an unattainable goal. So I never bothered to include it as one of my long-term aims to work towards.

That was between 2001 and 2004. I was in my early 30s—ambitious and driven, with a steady job that paid the bills. The idea of retirement was still too far away in the future to consider.

Surprise! Nearly two decades later, who would’ve thought… I quit my last job in March 2020. Yes, I was exactly 50!

Following my resignation, I had time to do a bit of soul-searching. It gradually dawned on me that I did not want to go back to full-time work again.

After weighing up the pros and cons, I knew I was ready for change. So that was it! I decided to get out of the rat race, make a fresh start, and do my own thing. In May 2021 I announced my retirement on Facebook and have never looked back since.

A career trajectory came to a halt. What’s next? A new trajectory called lifelong learning has taken off. Now I am an artist, my own boss, the CEO of Ted Tsai for life. In the process of mastering my craft, I expect myself to show up every day and be professional all the way.

Why dedicate myself to lifelong learning when I also have the freedom to do less? It’s a good question. The short answer is: respect.

Here’s a family story I can share with you.

My dad was a self-made man, a veteran investor back in the 80s when we were living in Taiwan. Through years of learning and analysing the stock market, he had built a wealth of knowledge enough to turn him into an expert in the field. The most obvious thing I saw then was people from his business circle often came to him for advice. I would say that was his moment of glory.

Later, when we migrated to Australia in 1990, he became a different man—the opposite of who he was in his heyday. I remember he said from the outset that he was too old to learn English. But he was only 49!

Consequently, the language barrier quickly took a toll. It cost him his potential to make it big here. Feeling like a fish out of water, an outsider in a new country, his confidence was eroded by a sense of helplessness. It was tough to watch him go from hero to zero in such a short space of time.

The main takeaway from my dad’s experience is: never stop learning.

Going forward, it feels like 2022 has passed by quickly. As I write this, we are entering the last quarter of the year; the change of seasons is on the horizon. Our spring is on its way. Yes, time flies!

Well, I am not that old yet in case you are wondering—still a decade away (or 13 years to be precise) from being called a senior citizen. It may be a euphemism for old person or retired person, but “senior citizen” is what I aspire to as I get older. Someone who is sharp, young at heart, interesting, or perhaps a role model for others to look up to. Older and wiser, respect is not only earned but also learned. And that is where lifelong learning comes in…

People are forgetful beings. Sometimes we forget how far we have come until we look back on the past.

It’s been 11 months since I followed my calling to become an artist. This post is about my new venture in the art world and what I need to do in order to stay in the game.

A dancer is a person who dances, a writer is a person who writes. An artist is a person who creates artworks. Our claim to be someone is only believable when we have experience under our belt to support it.

To embrace a new sense of identity, it’s no less than building up a portfolio of work to show to the viewer. As a late bloomer on the scene, if I want to master my craft and make a name for myself in the next 5 to 10 years, I must now be willing and ready to hit the ground running.

For me, art is a lifestyle, a way of living. It takes time to cultivate the techniques and become proficient at it. Practice makes perfect. When I go back to review some of my earlier drawings and compare them with the recent ones, I can see a marked difference in those strokes. That is, if you keep a record of all works past and present, gradually it will turn into your guidepost for improvement. It will speak for itself.

Game on! In December 2021 I stumbled across a London based Derwent Art Prize and decided to give it a go. I thought why not, it’d be a great opportunity to put myself out there and make a mark. By entering an art competition like this, it symbolises and validates my newly reinvented status as an artist.

And? Among a record number of 6126 entries received, did I get the nod from the judges? No, unsurprisingly, but I felt like a winner already the moment I submitted my work.

What’s on? The next one on my radar is The Lester Prize based in Western Australia. Mark the date 17 June 2022. Here I come!

As this post draws to a close, you probably can’t guess I’ve indulged in three days of writing about my artist’s journey so far, but now it’s time to return to my man cave and start creating my next masterpiece…

Suffer smart, suffer strategically, suffer for a good cause, suffer for survival, suffer for better results.

To do or not to do? Should I or shouldn’t I? For many of us, it’s a question of “Is it a right thing to do?”, but more so, it’s a question of “What consequences am I willing to bear?”.

Lately I’ve started to see my action or inaction as a matter of cost. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Sometimes I feel whatever I choose to do next, I’m going to suffer anyway, I might as well do something that will benefit me in the long run.

There’s a price to pay for everything we do. Things like being a couch potato, reaching for comfort food when you know you shouldn’t, losing control in some bad habits or erratic behaviour, all come at a cost. So do other things like following your calling, making a midlife career change, starting your own business etc. When you choose to go down that road, expect to meet with tolls along the way.

What about Buy One Get One Free stuff? Well, the words say it all. You need to buy one in order to get another one for free. Even a freebie, technically it’s given free of charge but traded in exchange for your most valuable commodity – time and attention.

In my case, I often pay the price of procrastination. Take exercise for example, love it or hate it, there’re times when I just don’t want to do it. Typically, in my head I’ll say to myself that today is not the day and all sorts of excuses.

I keep putting it off till the pain of not doing it becomes greater than the pain of doing it. It’s a turning point! Just get up, open the door, go out and do it anyway. To add a useful point of reference here, a moment like this, swearing (Fuck it!) does help. Pretty soon, some 20 or 30 minutes later, an adrenaline rush starts to kick in, billions and billons of my body cells then come alive and jump for joy.

To sum it up, choose your suffering and live to tell the tale…

Dare to bare? You bet!

For the past few weeks I have been out and about at Cobblers Beach, one of the most popular nude beaches in Australia.

Talking about freedom, I simply can not find any activities freer than that.

If you are a newcomer to this or someone who’s curious and wanting to try, my advice is: Don’t be too self conscious. No one is staring at you, no one is thinking of you and no one is laughing at you.

When you set foot in this beautiful, secluded cove surrounded by bush inside Sydney Harbour National Park, you will sense a nice and relaxing feel to it. People are just happy to go about their own business – skinny dipping, sunbathing, soaking up the atmosphere. No one is interested in judging you. They don’t care if you are in the nude or not. The choice is yours. It’s a friendly community around here.

Look around, you will notice people with various body types and skin tones. We all have our own unique set of DNA. As we go through each stage of life, our body changes, we grow into different shapes and sizes as a result. Being in a place like this, it’s about celebrating who you are, accepting yourself and being comfortable in your own skin.

In art form, to become an aspiring artist, learning to master figure drawing or life drawing is essential. When I started to draw self portraits around 6 months ago, I knew sooner or later I would have to tackle this area – human anatomy. I see it as an important step in upskilling and improving my drawing techniques if I want to take it to the next level.

In the process, it led me to appreciate the aesthetic structure and complexity of human body. Think about drawing a number of body gestures and movements, to be able to keep everything in proportion and bring it to life on paper, it requires a sharp eye, a kind heart and a steady hand. It’s an art!

Facing your nude self is facing your true self. Every day after having a shower, I will stand naked in front of the mirror. As I look at my own reflection from head to toe, I then start saying those three words “I love you” five times. It’s not kinky or odd to show some self love and support this way. When you see the truth in nudity, you know the body we were born with is really the one and only…

We know waiting is a hard thing to do. But what’s even harder is waiting in vain or is it?

After three and an half months of lockdown, Freedom Day finally arrived on the 11th of October. No more counting the days, the wait is over.

To make the most of the fine weather and the privileges given to people who are fully vaccinated, on the first Freedom Sunday, I was out and about as normal, spending time at the beach, just doing things I loved and missed.

While in the middle of the costal walk, I decided to head towards the cliff – a nice spot to get a bird’s eye view of the ocean. Then when I got there, I found a small group of photographers was already in the front. They got in first, secured the best position over the edge of the cliff.

Everyone of them was well-equipped, carrying a big camera with a heavy-duty strap across their chest, as well as a shoulder bag over their back. Not to mention their most striking tool of trade – the lenses. They looked bulky, gigantic, long, perhaps over an arm’s length, were covered in a protective coat, mounted to the cameras. I could see they were out here for some serious fun.

While they all seemed to be happily chatting away, every few seconds or so some would look up and check what’s going on in the sky. Any ideas?

As I stepped a little bit closer, I overheard them talking about wind speed and direction and an impact on what they were waiting to see – an eagle.

Apparently, a mother eagle was sighted off the cliff here. What’s so interesting about it? Well, she was seen circling around the area (I also noticed it earlier), teaching her offspring how to fly.

The news must have spread fast. That’s why it drew this bunch of geeks to the site on this sunny day. Watching such a majestic bird in action would be an exciting pastime for these like-minded men. Imagine she was up in the sky, putting on a great show of flying over her territorial airspace, swooping and soaring. Call them bird-watching enthusiasts, nature photographers or whatever. They looked like they were ready to give it their best shot any time.

To record an eagle’s swift movement on film, any seasoned photographer would probably say it’s a matter of waiting and yet there’s no guarantee.

These birdwatchers could’ve been there all day not catching the glimpse of the eagle. But judging by the level of their energy, stamina and the bond between them, no doubt they were having a ball, regardless the eagle showed up or not at the end.

After stumbling across them that day, I felt inspired to write a post about waiting. Now it’s here!

The thing is, waiting is no stranger to fun and games. So, play with it. If we think about it, waiting is about managing expectations. Where there are expectations, there will be surprises or disappointment along the way. When we can factor the waiting time into the process and engage in activities that are worth waiting for, then waiting probably would not feel like waiting after all…

Likes, followers, the more the merrier. But what if you have only one reader?

Numbers may not be lying in front of us but there is more to it than meets the eye.

Back in the day when I was a university student at UNSW, I would spend hours and hours at the library researching relevant materials for an upcoming assignment or a soon-to-be-due essay.

Once I had all the handy resources at my fingertips, it could be several drafts later before I had a final version ready to be handed in. Whether it was a labour of love or a pain in the arse, I sweated blood to get it done on time, the world should see it and admire it. Right? Well, not quite. At the end it would only fall on one person’s desk on the other side – my tutor, he or she would decide its fate – pass or fail, like it or not. Only one reader matters in this instance.

As a writer, when an article of yours only reaches one reader as opposed to one hundred or more. I can imagine why it’s hard to see there’s a silver lining in this situation or convince yourself that it’s all worth it. I get it. But for me, it’s more important to keep improving the quality of my writing than crunching the numbers.

Sure, if your life depends on it and if your income steam has a lot to do with it, it’s a business, you want to grow your audience and boost your site traffic to make it economically viable.

I’ve come a long way to realise that to have something to work for us, not against us, is to use it, and use it to our advantage. In other words, it’s about using a fresh lens to view the same object, at an angle best suited for our needs.

If I ever get sidetracked, one role model I look to is the old myself. Just rewind to the beginning of the time when I first started this writing journey. To revisit and think about what my intention was then. Soon, without fail, it will really speak volumes for me…

I loved seeing the excitement on my dog’s face every time we were going out for a walk. Even though my home offered him the comfortable surroundings – safety, food and shelter he needed, still, nothing compared to the freshness and liveliness that he could only get from going out and about in the bush or at the beach.

I don’t classify myself as a homebody. I like to strike a balance between time spent at home and time spent outside. But due to the effects of lockdown, somehow, I’m used to the idea of staying home and keeping away from everyone else. Well, it’s a right thing to do anyway.

Life at home is pretty full-on and productive. Oddly enough, my challenge isn’t boredom, but how to slow down and do less. Many times I found myself burning the midnight oil, just because I was in the zone, doing things I enjoyed – painting, drawing, writing, editing videos, dancing, exercising etc. With no shortage of home stuff to keep me occupied, busy and mentally stimulated, I’m pretty self-sufficient when it comes to entertaining and educating myself.

Having said that, I’m only human. We are all social animals. There’s only so much you can do in your own company. At times when I feel like connecting with family or friends, I either go speaking with my mum on Skype or go online to check friends’ posts on Facebook. I’m home alone but I’m not alone in a sense.

During lockdown, I only go out for two reasons – doing grocery shopping and driving my car around neighbourhood. Lately I’ve noticed I got a minor anxiety one or two days before I started to do these types of things. Not surprisingly, it was driven by fear – fear of going out.

It’s scary to see 1000 plus daily cases in our state NSW in the last two weeks or so. Fortunately, where I live this part of Sydney is very safe – there’s been no reported cases since this wave of pandemic began in June. To say this to someone like me who’s afraid of stepping outside at the moment, it does provide some degree of comfort.

Pleasingly, our state is fast approaching the magic number – 70% of adult population fully vaccinated. It’s estimated we will reach the target in around mid October. Following that, a range of freedoms will be given to fully vaccinated people. I look forward to that.

I don’t know if my fear of going out is only temporary. Perhaps it will go away by itself as soon as Sydney’s Freedom Day arrives on our doorstep. But regardless, I do know there’s only one cure for fear – face it…

Do we need to speak to be heard?

My mobile phone rarely rings these days. When it does, a good rule of thumb is: I will only answer it if it’s a number I can recognise. The reason is simple. I communication with my family predominately via Skype. With friends, I mostly use social media like Facebook or we just send each other text messages in a flash. It may sound strange but for me, talking to people on the phone seems to be a thing of the past.

But because of this mindset, about a week ago, I nearly missed a call from someone I knew – an ex colleague of mine. Luckily his name popped up on the screen, so I felt comfortable taking it.

While in the middle of our conversation, I thought I’d mention to him that this is the first time in months I speak to another human being. Oddly enough, when I was telling him that, the line started to break up a bit. So I had to repeat three or four times before he was able to hear the full sentence. His reaction? Well, he didn’t sound too surprised. After all, being a single person living by myself, it’s no big deal considering the situation we are in today affected by the pandemic. With our movements still being largely restricted by the public health orders during lockdown which started in June and has been extended to the end of August, I will continue to stay at home, live a low-key, modest, and self-sufficient lifestyle.

I may have been quiet for sometime, however in no way it suggests I’m lonely or bored. In fact, quite contrary to that, there’s been a lot going on in my head for as long as my waking hours. I try to spend time on things I love to do – dancing, exercising, painting, writing, editing videos, playing keyboards etc. plus those mundane house chores I can not avoid. Life is busy and also productive in that regard.

2021, while we are still in the midst of pandemic, I see it as an opportunity to slow down, preserve energy, and be kind to myself. For me, solitude is a choice I make, rather than a condition that’s been forced on me. To describe a flow state that I’ve experienced this time around, again, words are just not enough…

Let’s face it, face masks are uncomfortable. But I’d rather wear a face mask now than an oxygen mask later.

In response to the latest COVID-19 outbreak in Sydney, our state government took a swift action to make face masks mandatory again in all indoor areas.

Last Wednesday when I was in a local supermarket, I spotted a group of 3 young people not wearing face masks upon entering the store. Politely but firmly, I turned around and told them to comply with the rule. They did immediately. To be honest, afterwards I felt a bit bad about having to tell them off. In all seriousness, it was none of my business. I didn’t work there, I was just another shopper like everyone else. Why should I care? But No more Mr Nice. I did not regret telling them to do the right thing.

Just when I thought it was a happy ending, as I proceeded to the other aisles, unfortunately I saw a few more shoppers wandering around not having face masks on. I soon realised, I can’t help everyone and not everyone wants to be helped. At the end of the day, it’s their responsibility.

When I finished shopping and was about to leave the premises, I took a peek at the surroundings, to my horror, I noticed another person not wearing a face mask inside the store. He was a GP (a doctor) I used to see many years ago. I was a bit speechless.

For some silly reason, I could hear my own voice trying to justify their behaviour – not wearing a face mask. Perhaps they have already got a vaccination and so on. Then I stopped and thought No, a rule is a rule. If people don’t like it or think it’s unfair, they can go to court to challenge it and have it removed. But in the meantime, let’s all do our part to keep our community safe. To put things into perspective, think about a range of PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) those frontline health workers are wearing day in and day out: surgical masks, face shields, gloves, long-sleeved gowns etc. For the rest of us, wearing a face mask when going out and about is not a big ask at all.

Should I wear a face mask? For me, it’s not even a question. I wear a face mask to protect myself and others and I am proud of it…

It’s true what they say about the power of art.

In the past 3 years or so, I have bought more than 100 books related to painting and drawing. To explain my crazy purchases, I guess somewhere in my conscious mind I was planning on becoming an artist and perhaps using art as a form of therapy when one day my dog is gone.

But when my dog’s illness got worse and he passed away unexpectedly last year, I was hit hard by it. My grief at the loss ran so deep that I didn’t want to look at any books let alone sit down and paint.

Life has changed. I accept it. And the way I accept it is by reinventing myself.

Just last month, I told my friends and family I’m not returning to the corporate world, I’m retiring. Part of me knew I was going to find my calling and start something new. And that something new is painting.

It was time to dust off those art books on the shelves, take out the painting, drawing tools and accessories, and start painting. They’d been part of the furniture for too long.

When everything was set, what came next? The first few minutes, it felt like I’d just woken up from years of hibernation. I was sitting in front of a piece of watercolour paper, looking a bit lost, like a writer facing a blank page, I didn’t know what to start. But I said to myself, just paint whatever.

As soon as I picked up a pencil to draw a line, I was hungry for more. Once brushwork was set in motion, a few good minutes turned into a few good hours. Wow! I realised I’d experienced a flow state.

As a newbie, an aspiring artist, it’s important to start from scratch, learn the basics and study the techniques, then develop my own unique style. I must say, with practice, I’ve seen some pleasing results, beyond my expectations.

One thing I’ve benefited from the painting process is that, I’ve transformed myself into a calmer and more observant person. I am able to appreciate some fine details in small things and often find myself in awe of their magic and hidden beauty. Simple objects like fruits and flowers, when I look at them closely, I can see there’s a tiny universe in their make-up.

It’s going to be a lifelong hobby. Looking back, that little kid who loved writing, doing calligraphy, drawing manga, then stopped for 4 decades, he finally woke up, got out of the rat race, and put himself on the path to becoming an artist.

And the last word? Long time no see Ted.