Tag: Life

Let’s face it. Even with good intentions, we all think negatively sometimes. Beating yourself up when you think in a negative way? It’s not going to bring you any positive outcome. So, what’s the point?

The key thing is to find ways of transforming the thinking pattern so that it doesn’t eat up the rest of your day. But how?

In September last year, I happened to see Dr Karl Kruszelnicki at Dymocks city bookstore on a book-signing event, for his latest book entitled: Karl, The Universe and Everything.

I’ve always been drawn by his wit and in-depth knowledge of many things – good, bad, beautiful and ugly. Sometimes even stuff you feel shy, embarrassed or ashamed to talk about, he writes about it.

Out of curiosity, I went to pick up one copy and had a quick browse while there. One chapter called Earworm really struck me.

I was fascinated by the well-researched information, particularly some good tips on how to get rid of earworms. To my surprise, chewing gum is said to be the most effective way to date.

If you don’t know what earworm means, according to Cambridge Dictionary, it means a song that you keep hearing in your head.

In my previous experience, an annoying song (I won’t name it here) was playing in my head again and again. It was spinning like a broken record, just driving me insane. It happened while I was out and about around a beach. All up, it lasted two hours.

How did I stop it eventually? As soon as I got home, I turned on my stereo and played one of my favourite songs on repeat. It was an instant cure! A gentle and effective way to kill an earworm, with no side effects! Of course, that song I played didn’t become another earworm. Even if it had, it wouldn’t have bothered me.

Well, that’s not the end of the story. To satisfy my inquiring mind, I wanted to know more. I wanted to find out if there’s a correlation between negative thoughts and earworms.

What if we start treating negative thoughts like earworms? Try chewing gum? Will playing my favourite 80’s songs help? Interesting huh? Well, that’ll be my next project. Watch this space.

For now, I’m going to leave you with something to chew on here. Till next time, stay tuned!

Chatswood Mall Market is a hectic place. There’s a good variety of market stalls to please all sorts of shoppers including food from around the world – Greek, Spanish, Turkish, Japanese, Chinese, Malaysian, Taiwanese, you name it. It also features a live musical entertainment in a wide range of genre every week.

“Citizen of The World” was the band busking one Friday evening some time ago. In fact, it was the second time I saw them there. Even though I was much drawn by their tune the very first time, I didn’t stay to watch them play. It was all because I was in a mad rush to do my grocery shopping.

It took me the second time to stop and immerse myself in their music. I found myself gravitating towards the energy and the emotions flowing through the band members. It felt as if the lead singer was singing for me especially when he was interpreting a very powerful ballad or a sad song as he called it. I could tell he must’ve sung it from his heart. It was very moving.

Captivated by their musical style, I decided to own it on the spot. Counted to 3, I took a few quick steps towards the centre stage, put a ten dollar note inside an open guitar case that already had some loose coins and notes lying around, then grabbed a copy of their latest EPs “Memories In My Head” from a box. For some reason, I was a bit nervous to get so close to them but I felt like they needed my support, so I just went for it.

Later that night I found the band’s Facebook page and decided to write them a text message to say how much I loved their gig. To my surprise, a couple of hours later the band members responded with thanks and some really kind words. One said it makes his day. The truth is they made my day as much as I made theirs.

I guess any one of us can be just another face in the crowd, but the thing is we all the power to make a difference to someone’s day even in a smallest fashion. I’d love to see the band make a name for themselves one day and continue to touch people through their songs.

Next time, if you happen to see an artist or a band playing a gig you like, why not stop, look and listen to the music. It’ll mean a lot to them…

PS: It gave me a great pleasure when they shared this post on their Facebook page.

When I first studied English as a 12-year-old school boy, I fell in love with the language straight away. Even to this day, the richness and the versatility of the language continue to fascinate me. The scope of what words can do really goes beyond imagination.

There’re many types of greetings in English, a typical textbook example often goes something like this:

Person A: How are you?

Person B: I’m good. Thanks, and you?

Person A: I’m good, too. Thanks.

Well, that’s pretty much the end of a conversation.

Of course, many real life conversations don’t always follow this pattern. They flow differently depending on the situations but more or less they all work along the same lines of “How are you?”.

In the very beginning, I was only a kid trying to figure out the massive grammar rules and all that. Relatively new to the English-speaking world (or the West as you may call it), I’d always thought “How are you?” was a meaningful question. But very soon I realized that no one seemed to take the question literally or seriously. Most of us were happy to take it and leave it – we gave a quick answer, then we moved on.

It’s not an overstatement to say that “How are you?” is the all-time most frequently used and abused cliché. There’s some everyday evidence to back it up. But I don’t want it to just end there.

Where do we go from here?

I truly believe “How are you?” needs a bit more personal attention or TLC. It’s a question not to be taken too lightly. After all, we are talking about our states of mind, aren’t we?

To delve into the world of “How are you?”, it’s a greeting that has power to change someone’s day, for better. If we mean it like we should, then it deserves a few more seconds of our time. A little bit patience goes a long way. It’s not hard to just stop, listen and wait for the answer before we end a conversation and go about our business.

Of course, not all human interactions warrant a high level of attention and that’s when more causal greetings come in like “hi” “good morning/afternoon/evening” etc. It’s simple, friendly, carefree, apt and to the point.

To a further extent, a great Australian charity organisation like R U OK? has been at the forefront of advocating a suicide prevention through life-changing conversations. With a question like Are you OK? as a starting point, it aims to re-write and re-define how we respond to this age-old question and help alleviate the stigma around not feeling OK or depression. This is a movement that gives much needed weight to this simple question.

While not everyone always wants to talk about their issues, it’s nice to know that people do care to listen… So, How are you?

Passion passion passion… What is your passion? What are you passionate about? This buzzword is just about everywhere.

If you’re a job seeker, chances are you’ll come across passion-related questions at job interviews. What are you going to say about it if you’re asked?

You might’ve already heard it a lot on some popular podcasts or read it from many social media post feeds etc. Topics about passion never stop to follow us around.

Should we declare that passion is now officially a cliché?

Passion, so overly used and abused that our brain literally has become desensitised. Don’t blame ourselves if we’ve already lost our way even before we set out to discover it.

Is it about time to take a step back and re-think about our obsession with passion?

It seems that the harder we try to chase our passion, the further we push it away. Time and time again we end up feeling frustrated and defeated even more.

When desperation comes into play, what does it leave us? Or maybe I should say where does it take us? Well, It moves us further away from our goals. It backfires.

For me, the last time I was in desperate need of finding my passion was when I was made redundant in October 2011 from a company that I had been with for 11 years.

Did I find my passion? No, but fortunately I did land a few jobs here and there. Whether I decided to stay, that’s another thing.

In hindsight, now I know the reason why I didn’t find my passion. The mistake I made was I tried to turn it into a money-making machine. By doing so, I lost track of what passion is all about – it is something you volunteer to do and enjoy doing, even without getting paid for it. Great if you have opportunities to monetize it down the road, but still OK if it doesn’t give you a short-term financial reward.

So, where is a good place to start if you aren’t there yet?

Try a bookstore! Remember the last time? Which aisle did you go to first when you walked in to a bookstore (either online or a retail store)?

In my case, I found myself hovering around the art/design, writing reference, business and health sections a lot. It’s a good indication, isn’t it?

I know I’ve grown and cultivated a newfound passion and I’m willing to do it for free. The trick is how to take the pressure off. The same answer I keep coming up with is: I don’t need to be good at it but I need to be good at doing it often…

 

Australia has long been regarded as The Lucky Country – a land of opportunities and a fair-go for all. The reality is we aren’t immune to all sorts of adversities, hardships, issues and problems like the rest of the world.

At the time of facing an uncertainty, I often experience a mild form of anxiety. It’s just part of the package called life. Perhaps it’s my fighting spirit or my survival instinct, I don’t allow myself to go astray. When I’m trying to re-group myself, two questions I ask myself are:

1. Who’s got the most unrelenting quality to deal with unpredictability in life? And
2. Who can I draw an inspiration from to help me get through the rough patch?

Well, we all need to eat, don’t we?! Perhaps diving into where food comes from is a good way to start. This is how the story goes…

One Saturday morning when I was sorting out my groceries, I was very much captivated by the colourful fruit and veggies – blue berries, strawberries, apples, grapes, cherry tomatoes, potatoes, cucumbers, broccoli, yellow squash, you name it. Nothing brightens up my weekend like the fresh produce.

As I put them away in the fridge, I started to think of those hard-working people behind the scenes – growers I’ve never met.

To me, the abundance of food is always within easy reach, readily available at supermarkets. Whatever we need, just put them in trolley, go to a checkout counter and pay, then the job is done. Whereas, to growers, their crop is at the mercy of weather conditions every day of the year. Too much rain, too little rain or no rain at all can throw their livelihood into disarray.

What do they do when the weather turns ugly? What do they do when the drought hits? What do they do when the crop is ruined by an unforeseen calamity?

Do they grin and bear it, get back up and try again? Or do they just say “tough”, “why me?” and give up?

What do growers do to stay resilient, viable and competitive?

You bet! They’ve given me plenty of food for thought…

Buying birthday presents for some people isn’t always easy. Not because they are hard to please but because they seem to have “everything” already. Do they really need more stuff to be added to their rooms?

When the vice president of my previous company came to visit our team from the Asia Pacific headquarters in Singapore, we all wanted to put our best foot forward and make a good impression. During his short stay in Sydney, one day he came to our area and asked some of us: Tell me what gift should I buy for my mum’s birthday?

It was a question that left many of us scratching our heads. There was a long pause before we started to give out our well-thought of answers among us. It did feel like a competition. Everyone thought their idea was the most brilliant, the smartest, everyone wanted to look good in front of the big boss. Who came out on top at the end?

One by one, none of us seemed to be able to come up with something good enough to be taken seriously. Then Ricky – the usual quiet co-worker, the keep-his-head-down, the stay-at-the-corner and the work-his-butt-off type of guy suddenly burst out. He said this in a very convincing tone: How about sponsoring a child that was also born on the same day as your mum?

The rest of us kind of went silent. Why? Because we knew he nailed it. No one could beat him.

Later that day, the vice president came back looking happy and relaxed. We all realised he’d taken Ricky’s idea on board. There he was, holding a World Vision child sponsorship application form he completed on behalf of his mum. The smile was written all over his face. It’d make a wonderful birthday gift for his mum and a brighter future for a child she sponsored…

Time flies. It’s already October. Before we know it, it’ll be 2020! As the festive season is fast approaching, how do you celebrate?

Do you go with the flow? Or do you prefer to do things of your own free will? If you’re more an extrovert, you probably like something big, loud and lively. If you’re more an introvert, you probably like something small, quiet and low-key. The fact is there’s no rule book on how to spend your holidays, it’s our free time after all.

Working in the corporate world means I’m surrounded by people all the time. There’re plenty of opportunities for interactions either through face-to-face or internet or telephone. My job keeps me on my toes. No two days are the same and there’s never a dull moment.

At home though, it’s a different story. By choice, I operate my personal life at a much slower pace, involving no more than myself and my fury kid Jamie.

The concept of solitude is like venturing into a private haven, taking me far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. It’s exactly what I need at the end of the day. It doesn’t make me a loner.

All in all, if you don’t enjoy your own company, how can you expect others to enjoy yours?

In the creative process, I need to be fully engaged in oneness. I need to be alone. I need to be that person who thinks alone, reads alone, and writes alone. Yes, I’m alone, solo, by myself, on my own, whatever you call it. Loneliness is the last thing on my mind. Without trying to sound too arrogant, it’s not in my vocabulary.

You? Perhaps you too do a lot of things alone. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Now, the question of Is one really a lonely number? My answer is: Not at all.

So, what is a lonely number then? In my opinion, zero is a lonely number.

Loneliness is best described as a state of mind derived from a behavioural response in which case one can be either alone or not alone. It has nothing to do with numbers, whether you’re one or with one hundred.

Lastly, before we go and tackle the epidemic of loneliness in our society, perhaps one single step that everyone can take is to let go of the misconception – the assumption of one is a lonely number…