Tag: Life

It’s funny we often use the word “thick” to describe someone’s lack of intelligence or common sense in their ways of thinking, talking or behaving. Interestingly, when it comes to the skin – the largest organ in the human body, we refer “thick-skinned” to people who aren’t easily hurt, offended or embarrassed by criticism or people’s negative comments. The word “thick” in this context, isn’t too bad at all. Judging by its whole meaning, we can all agree on the positive connotations that come with it. Obviously, we’d rather be thick in the skin than in the head, wouldn’t we?

I wasn’t born with a thick skin. Throughout my life I often consider myself as a thin-skinned, introverted person. Wearing this inward label every day, has it been serving me well up to this point? The answer is I wish I could’ve been more thick-skinned in many cases. If you’re sick of sitting on the sidelines, perhaps it’s time to think about cultivating a thick skin mentality and incorporating it into your personality? Wouldn’t it be nice if we can call upon it only when a situation is required, other times we just relax and stay the way we are? The question is always the same. When facing a new challenge, the first thing that pops up is: Where should I start? What’s the first step I should be taking before I can hone the skill? What should I do to increase the chances of success? I don’t know if there’s a rule book I can follow but instead of searching far and wide, going above and beyond, a better place to start is where we’re right now. Read on and find out where I started.

A couple of weeks ago my CEO called me to his office. It turned out he wanted me take on an office project – refurbishing part of the workplace. He was very specific about what he wanted it to look like. My task was simply to find someone who can do just that. Because I already had a couple of contacts on file who specialized in this type of thing, I was very confident from the outset that I’d achieve a good outcome. Interestingly, right before I stepped out of his office, he looked at me with a grin on his face then left an unexpected remark – go out and spend the money! I wasn’t 100% sure if he was serious but I wasn’t going to treat it like a joke.

While I wasn’t given a budget to run this project, I was very careful about where the money would go. In other words, I didn’t want to spend it like there’s no tomorrow. Over a course of a week, the consultant came back to me with a quote that seemed a bit too dear. When I presented it to my CEO, he looked at it and approved it straight away. I thought, Gee that was fast. There was no point for me to stand there and argue with him. I was happy to leave it at that. But, part of me still believed there was a room for price negotiation. So, did I do anything about it?

It was a venture completely outside my comfort zone. A day after the quote was approved by my CEO, I turned around, put on a brave face and called the consultant. I could feel I was mumbling and my voice was shaky. My message was kind of subtle and blurry but he totally got it – I wanted to get the price down. He asked me how much. I paused, refused to give away my bottom line. Before I hung up, he knew it was a matter of “the ball is in his court”. A few hours later, he came back to me with a revised quote – way better than I expected, a total saving of AUD $600.00. I cheered inside. That’s enough to buy our team a plenty of pizzas. Thick crust or thin crust you may ask? I don’t care…

A few days ago I went to create a new page titled “Header Image” on this blog of mine. Underneath that I inserted some narratives to describe where the photo was taken and those beautiful features around it. I felt like I had something more to say about it. So for this post, it’s an extension of that page…

If you’ve been here before, you’d agree that the view here is simply spectacular. I love being here, so does my dog. When we come up here on a sunny day, I tend to settle into my spot – a comfortable shady area away from direct sun but still exposed enough to see what’s going on. I often sit or lie down with my arms and legs stretched as far as I can then just watch the day go by. Being in a zone like this, I normally just close my eyes and try to meditate. It’s never ceased to amaze me just how slowly time can go by when I take a moment to quieten down. Of course, it’s not all calm and peaceful. Within minutes, many unwanted thoughts can pop up and even smallest noises from everywhere can shift my attention away. This has always been a challenge for me. But my philosophy here is I don’t need to be a meditation master. Just happy to be a doer.

How the story goes is in the last several months when I was in this place, I did what I used to doing – looking intently into the horizon, where the sky and the ocean met, then in a non-religious sense, asking nature a whole range of questions about things that weren’t particularly going well in my life or some fears or anxiety I was experiencing, in the hope of getting some clue or hint in return. Time after time, as it turned out, my efforts seemed in vain. It felt like I was just barking up the wrong tree in all attempts. With no exception, to say conclusively, it was a case of too many questions, too many why’s and no answers. Bearing with this, my frustration started to grow and my patience began to run out. I couldn’t help but question power of nature and wonder what’s the point of it anyway.

So. I stopped asking… then one day I came to realization that all those times I wondered why I never got a response, nature had done its part to inspire and give me all the answers but I hadn’t been listening.

What was it then? Silence… 

Just thought I’d say hi to a friend who hadn’t been around on Facebook for a while. His last post was as far as December 2017. So, I wanted to check on him and make sure he’s in a right place both mentally and physically. The first thing that popped up in my head was to ask him: How’s life treating you? A question like this wouldn’t have been anything out of ordinary, but we’re both creative people (he’s a singer and a song writer) and particularly myself a strong advocate in empowerment, I thought I’d better come up with something different or unconventional. I paused for a few seconds, then right at that moment the thought that crossed my mind was: why don’t I put the question in reverse? How are you treating life? a new powerful question was born from there.

It was amazing how quickly it transformed my mindset when I shifted gears. For the first time in a long while, it felt like I was in the driving seat, I was the one in charge of the life’s ups and downs. Funnily enough, I only meant to write a how are you, a short catch-up message to a friend, but unexpectedly it ended up an opportunity for me to review my attitude towards life, from an opposite angle.

I sent him a message shortly before this post and yes I did ask that question: How have you been treating life? and all that. Deep down I wouldn’t expect a fast response after all he did say he’s signing out a bit and keeping a low-profile on the social media front. In fact, it’d be entirely fine by me if I don’t hear from him for days or even weeks or months. The truth is I know he’s been busy treating life as it comes. I just wanted to say: Thank you for inspiring me my friend. Keep living your dreams…