Mental Health Is An Issue That Won’t Go Out Of Print

We all know what number to call for emergencies. It’s 000 in Australia. In US it’s 911. In this day and age even when personal data security is everything, our mobile/cell phones are still designed to let us make emergency calls without needing a password. It goes to show how important it is to have quick access to assistance during a crisis. On that front, where can you go to if yourself or someone you care about is battling with mental health problems? Can you name at least three places on top of your head? Do you know their phone numbers by heart?

In Australia, there’re charities like Lifeline, Reach Out and Beyond Blue. They all have done a wonderful job on educating the public about the mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression which affect 20% of the population. To that effect, we can never say we’ve done enough as long as the stigma of mental illness is alive and well in all corners of our society. It’s true we’ve come a long way to raise public awareness and put the mental health topic on the table for discussion. The opportunities are all there, the challenge is to encourage more people to step up and speak freely about it.

Right now it’s December, a festive season, the happiness is in the air everywhere you go. What on earth am I bringing up the issue of mental health again? I don’t mean to drag you down. But here’s how it came about: Over a month ago, I bumped into a friend while taking a bus to work. He looked like he’d lost a big chunk of weight, just not the same person I used to know. I couldn’t help but ask him what had happened and if things were OK. In brief, he told me he’d gone through a tough time in his personal life. He was made redundant late last year as a result of the workforce restructuring. Thereafter, a series of unfortunate events such as not being able to find another job caused a whirlwind of emotions. It was hard to take. By his own admission, he suffered from depression – a condition he only kept to himself. Why so? He didn’t feel like bothering anyone especially his family in overseas. It was understandable but what stunned me most was when he talked about his suicidal thoughts. That was a real shock. On the surface and on paper, he was someone of a high calibre, who seemed to have his life figured out. As a young millennial, he already had amazing credentials under his belt – a certified chartered accountant, a master degree, have worked for one of the big four accounting firms in the world and other prominent employers alike. However, none of these achievements guaranteed a success he desperately needed. When people are out of job not by choice, life can be a brutal place and that’s exactly what happened to him. Being unemployed for too long is like being an outsider sitting on the sidelines, not participating in the game and just watching the days go by. His confidence was eroded, his mind played a dirty trick on him. He began to wonder: Is that it? Is that all what life is about? They say: All good things come to an end. Sure, so do bad things. At last, it took him a total of ten months to land a current job – even though it was only a fixed term six month contract with no possibility for extension. For now, life is back on track as he said but the uncertainty over what would happen after six months worried him. He feared that he’d relapse into old depression again. I took a deep breath, paused for a few seconds before asking him this question: When you were coping with those stresses, were you all alone by yourself? He replied with a straight yes. I wasn’t surprised by his answer. That’s the thing, behind a closed door, there can be a depressed person we never know existed.

I came up with this catchy headline “Mental Health Is An Issue That Won’t Go Out Of Print“, while drafting this post in my head. I’m a firm believer that you and I have the ability to write or re-write the next chapter and the next etc.. We can do so in a way that sees mental health as normal part of our lives and treats it with ultimate openness. It’s important to note that the stigma of mental illness wasn’t born out of nowhere. It was something we created right under our noses and passed it down year after year. So, what are we going to do about it? It’s all in the attitude – how do we act towards people (including ourselves) with the mental health conditions. In my friend’s case, what he said to me that day hasn’t changed a thing about how I see him as a person. If anything, it’s only more of him, not less of him…

Take care!

Got A Problem? Face It Before You Forget It

Move on!

I hear people say this all the times. Nice try but easier said than done!

Is there such a thing as you can just snap out of it and jump into the next chapter of your life without sweat? It surely sounds unbelievable to me. What’s with carrying through an old painful memory till time passes and heals you over? What can be done to shorten the process of getting over it and getting back on your feet again? If it’s been a treadmill day in and day out just to forget your problems and you haven’t seen any tangible results, isn’t it about time to gain a new perspective and redeem yourself? What does it take to get you there? Let’s explore it…

I remember how one troubled mind rested heavily on my shoulders a few years ago. So much so that it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Determined to give it a kick up the arse, I took my dog out to a beautiful hidden gem (pictured) that I discovered a few weeks prior. It was located in a lovely neighbourhood surrounded by leafy trees, an inner harbour and friendly locals. The walk proved to be a pleasant one but with a surprise twist.

How it started was, on my way back, I happened to meet an elderly lady who was standing in her front yard chatting away with a middle-aged man who was probably half of her age. They looked related so I just assumed they were a mother and a son. She gave me a smile as we were getting closer to the footpath near her, then she asked: What is the name of your dog? Jamie and he’s a boy, I responded. For another minute or two, I continued to stay up there and listen to her talking fondly about her grandchild living in Melbourne. Right then, just when I thought: Done with socialising, I should be heading off soon, she unexpectedly came around and asked me the same things again and again – the same questions about my dog’s name and all that. By that time, I got a pretty good idea about her condition. She was someone living with dementia.

It was such a sobering moment that I became a bit speechless, almost ashamed of myself for acting out my depressed feeling that way at the start of the day.

Ironically, the whole day I was trying the hardest to get this shit out of my head, then met this elderly lady who couldn’t even remember the most basic things just being said a few minutes earlier. In such vast contrast, it was more than enough to wake me up from my inner demons and insanity I was struggling with – I realized: I have choices and I have options.

If I want to, I can choose what I forget (or forgive for that matter). For some people who are battling with dementia, they don’t have that luxury. Interestingly, now I look back, I can’t pinpoint exactly what that troubled mind was all about then. It seems like a distant memory that’s not worth my time revisiting it. Funny how I thought by forgetting it, it would create a magic bullet for easing my troubled mind, in fact at the end it was the act of facing the problem that made a difference…