It’s funny those people who often mock and ridicule the OCD sufferers, they never look at themselves and say: Why am I so obsessed with laughing at them?… Ted Tsai
Ted’s Quote 26
Ted’s Quote 25
Every writer starts from zero, they start from scratch.
One word, one sentence, one paragraph, one page, one chapter, one book, you’re always back to square one.
If you feel you barely scratch the surface every time you write a post, welcome to the world of writing. Join the club! Time to start from the ground up again… Ted Tsai
Stop Trying Too Hard
I’ve been a try-hard. That’s the thing. After a long shot, you come to realise that you’ve barked up the wrong tree or the timing just wasn’t right, it was working against you.
What else do you do? Keep trying? What about letting your hair down a bit and doing something different?
This is when the power of walk comes in.
I started taking bush walks and coastal walks around 10 years ago. I’ve literally done hundreds of them since. It’s a great way to rejuvenate and recharge batteries when life sucks.
In the very beginning, I used it as a therapy to heal my heartache from the breakdown of my last relationship. Over time it became my weekend ritual. It automatically ingrained in my sub conscience, without effort – I don’t have to plan, I don’t have to think. Sundays, when housework is done. I’m out and about.
Manly beach, one of the most famous beaches in Sydney, was my top choice that Sunday afternoon. The sea breeze provided an instant comfort while we were walking on the way to Shelley beach – a smaller, quieter beach.
Once got there, I was so drawn to the catchy music near by. I went a little further to find out what was going on.
There I was, at a park adjacent to the beach, I saw a young female DJ. I decided to walk up to her.
“Hey, nice music, makes me wanna dance” I said. “Thank you, this is my kinda music, come and join us if you like” she responded. I hesitated… then I saw a couple of guys in their group waving at me, I thought why not so I went over. Straight away I sensed a good vibe around them – friendly & welcoming.
DJ, new friends, sun, beach, music and dance all in one place, this is definitely my kinda thing…
There’ll come a time when giving your 100% won’t necessarily mean you’ll receive 100% back. Count yourself lucky if you get any. For me, walking away from “trying too hard” and going back to basics before going back to civilization is a good way to finding clarity. This is something I often have to remind myself of…
Ted’s Quote 24
A busy life, a quiet life, a complicated life or a simple life?
Whatever life we choose, remember, it’s a life we LEAD, not a life we follow. Ultimately, we’re responsible for it… Ted Tsai
How Many Friends Are Too Many?
I remember a fantastic episode of a science program Catalyst on ABC five years ago. It was one of those well-made TV documentaries – entertaining and educational, once you watch it, it’ll stick with you for a long time.
According to the report’s findings, the number of friends we have is determined by our DNA…
What?! Wait! DNA?! Really?! Seriously?!
Well, no joke. Since it was born out of scientific studies, not some kind of fiction or opinion, I had no reasons for doubting it.
On reflection, my own SMALL circle of friends. What can I say? It hasn’t changed much if anything at all in the last five years or so. Should I try a bit harder? Perhaps not. Am I comfortable with the number of friends I have? Absolutely.
Let’s face it, in this date and age, having more friends equates more fame and more popularity. Who wouldn’t want more of them? The fact is, friends come friends go, whether we like it or not.
Two weeks ago, it was one of those days I felt the need to spring clean my life. Again, easier said than done. Where should I start?
To get the ball rolling, I went to check the stuff in my closet, hesitated. Just give it a break – I mumbled. I already gave away a few clothes to charity the other day. I wasn’t too keen on doing more of it. Then somewhere along the line, on the spur of the moment, I don’t know where I got it from but I heard a voice in my head saying: What about tidying up the friend list on my Facebook account?
Part of me protested. No, I need them there to make my numbers look good. No, they don’t bother me. No, what would they think if I removed them?
Just do it! Sweet Heart. Just freaking do it. Dear.
I did. I took ten friends off the list.
Then there came the infamous break up line: It’s not you, it’s me. Whether it’s that or the other way around. It doesn’t matter. No one cares. Even if they do, they’ll move on very quickly.
After saying sayonara, ciao, bye bye and adios to those friends whom I no longer connect with, there’s been zero impact on my life, at least on the social media front.
If you also buy into the idea of “the number of friends we have is determined by our DNA”, then you’ll find easy to let go of:
- The need to be liked or accepted by someone
- The need to please people
Most importantly, you’ll be totally OK with:
- Being who you are
Time to crunch the numbers: friends, old friends, new friends, no more, no less…
Ted’s Quote 23
There’s no magic bullet when it comes to passion. It’s something you cultivate and create.
In the process, a surefire way to know if you’re passionate about something is by asking yourself these two questions:
- Am I willing to do it for free?
- Am I willing to do it alone?
Ted Tsai
Ted’s Quote 22
Free also means Without. Therefore, “Freedom of Speech” can be defined as Silence (or Shut Up).
Without prejudice, I’d like those negative people, harsh critics or extremists to exercise their rights this way sometimes… 👄📩 Ted Tsai
Ted’s Quote 21
The fact is we human beings are biased. We all take sides.
How do I know for sure? The answer lies in the heart!
Where is the heart located in the chest? It’s not exactly in the centre, is it?!
Our challenge is to draw a fine line between preference and prejudice. The preference side is OK, the prejudice side is not… Ted Tsai
Fight Negativity With Sensitivity
They say: Fight fire with fire. Well, try to apply it to negative people, it may fuel them even more and backfire. The point is? Don’t feed the monster!
A friend of mine once said to me: Negative people are like bad smell, better stay away from them fast. I laughed in agreement.
Since then I have been paying close attention to what’s around me – the environment, the people, even the words I say, to ensure I don’t become a minus. The point is? Negativity is contagious.
Not surprisingly, this has led me to discover something interesting about human nature – the loudest is often the weakest. One important thing to note here is eyes never lie…
So, don’t believe those things they say about a sensitive person. We aren’t all nothing but a drama queen. The truth is: When putting our sensitivity to good use, we can easily detect all kinds of smell AND be the first to exercise the power of walking away!
The point is? Sniff sniff before they make you sneeze sneeze…
What Does It Take To Be A Real Man?
Following my recent health scare, all I wanted was some normality to return to my life.
I guess it’s always easier to write about this kind of experience after the event has passed, not when you’re still in the middle of it. For me, a lesson can only be learnt after it’s taught, agree?
One check-up after another, a blood test, a brain scan, next a consultation with an oral and maxillofacial surgeon, when is it going to end?
I was over it. At times, it felt like forever, my patience was once again put to the test. Why me? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink… What if I have a cancer?
At one point, I became this stoic and cold person. I could shrug it off and carry on another day no problems. But other times, I was a complete opposite to the guy 24 hours ago. I watched myself going from one extreme to another – from feeling carefree and careless to feeling anxious and powerless.
Waiting is the hardest thing to do yet there’s nothing you can do about it. You can only hope that one day that time will be on your side. It’s not a big ask, is it? Apparently it is if you don’t do your homework!
Finally, 4 weeks later, I got some breathing space I desperately needed. I was given the all clear by the doctor and the specialist. To finish it on a positive note, it felt like someone had handed me a second chance in life. I couldn’t be more grateful.
Typically, men don’t care enough about their health, compared with women. In many cases, men have that ego thing going on, stopping us from reaching out. In a short term, it may help save our face but in the long run, will it save our life?
What does it take to be a real man? For me, a real man is someone who knows himself inside out including strengths, weaknesses and vulnerability, someone who takes care of his health including physical health and mental health.
Sometimes we just can’t be bothered. Sometimes we are in denial. Sometimes we think problems will go away themselves. All these are convenient excuses. What we need is a gentle push, to go out of our way to do the “inconvenient thing” like getting our health checked. It’ll put us in a better position to do the rule-in and the rule-out thing, instead of just guessing what it might be.
Looking back, this health scare has re-affirmed to me one thing – life is unpredictable. I could’ve got totally different results. I could’ve come out of it a crashed man. But I didn’t. Why not? Older and wiser, I checked the facts. Don’t freak out until you know the facts! I was prepared for it – come what may. Good or bad, it’s better to know and do something about it, than not know and do nothing about it.
That’s what a real man is all about…
Ted Tsai 