Month: May 2020

How well do you know your neighbours? Do you say hello when you see them? Or do you look away and pretend they don’t exist?

It’s the third time that I have this kind of conviction. When an emergency arises, who are you going to call? The closest people around aren’t necessarily always your colleagues, friends or family but believe or not – your neighbours.

DIY to save money and the hassle? It depends. It’s so true that some things are best left with the experts. I remember 5 years ago, the electricity in my unit went off completely. The outage occurred not due to some natural cause but a faulty switch which I tried to fix it myself. Silly me!

Relying on the only source of power – my smart phone, I managed to find my way in the dark, called my brother and asked two neighbours of mine for assistance. Before I got the problem resolved, their help in the interim proved to be so invaluable.

Through my brother, I got hold of an electrician named Gregor that night. I’ve known him for years. He’s one of those guys – No problem is too big or too small for him. The fact that he could come over on such a short notice, I was very grateful for that. His 5 star service and humble character impressed me once again. What a life saver! 

What’s next? The more recent case saw me getting into a sticky situation, it was almost embarrassing. Two weeks ago, I locked myself out of my apartment after taking the rubbish out in the garage room near the main road. It was almost midnight, cold and dark. Most people would already be in bed that time of the night. Poor me! I was still outside my door, standing alone with a set of keys in my hand. No matter how hard I tried, the key just wouldn’t turn. To not make the situation worse, I decided to ask for help. But ask who?

For the convenience, I thought of the neighbour on my left. I peeked over the side but couldn’t see anything other than the blinds and the lights in the living room. Well, at least the lights were still on. Should I or shouldn’t I? I had no time to think. I rang the bell hoping someone would come and answer the door. A minute passed, it was quiet with no sign of movement. Just when I thought it was going to be a long night, I heard the sound of footsteps coming towards my way. There he was – my new neighbour! I was half relieved to say the least!

I’m sorry to bother you but… do you think you might have WD-40 lubricant by any chance? The lock on my door is stuck for some reason – I asked politely. Hmm… He paused for a second, the look on his face showed some hopefulness, then I saw him walk back in to check. A minute or two later, he came with a can of lubricant similar to WD-40. Yes! I cheered inside.

Just one spray was all it took. That missing clicking sound I so desperately wanted to hear was back. The next thing I knew, the door was unlocked and re-open in front of me! I was overjoyed.

Home sweet home. I kept thanking him for his help, I even commented he’s saved my life. He responded with a smile and a few nice words, before we each retired to our own places.

What can I say? Certainly not everyone is wired about the idea “love your neighbour as yourself”, but at the very least, let’s be civil and be neighbourly. You can never know, one of your neighbours might become your accidental hero one day…

I don’t normally have visitors. Every time I hear the doorbell, I usually feel a bit unnerving about what’s going to happen. Now with the government public health orders in place during the coronavirus outbreak, I have every reason not to welcome any unannounced visitors.

Around two weeks ago someone knocked on my door. Feeling slightly annoyed, I yelled: Who is this? What do you want? Reluctantly, I opened the door. It was the guy – the new neighbour from upstairs standing there.

As he came a little too close to me, I asked him to step back a bit (you know social distancing). He sort of did. A few seconds later his girl friend and a telecom technician also joined him. They explained to me that they had trouble getting broadband access network connected to their unit. As a matter of courtesy, they asked me if OK they could come in and check the cabling on my side.

That really put me on the spot. Their request had nothing to do with me. A. I don’t use that type of broadband (nbn). B. According to the government enforcement information, no household should have visitors during the pandemic. So, as much as I wanted to help, I said No. But for the following 2 minutes, I started to justify myself. Typical me! A people-pleaser. Luckily, He got the point, apologized then left.

After that, I started to rewind the tape in my head and tried to analyse everything. For a minute or two, I was beating myself up. Fortunately, as soon as I caught myself doing that, I quickly stopped the negative self-talk before it had a chance to spiral out of control.

Perhaps because I’m now older and wiser. I’ve come to realize:

When we say No to one thing, we’re in fact saying Yes to another thing. It’s fair to say that we all say Yes and No at the same time. So, go ahead and say No. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate.

A week later, I ran into the guy (I still don’t know what his name is) in the garage while washing my car. To ease the awkwardness, I casually asked him if he’d got their internet connection sorted. He said Yes. Actually, he’s changed the service provider to the same one as mine. A short and sweet response!

What can I say? Saying No is hard and uncomfortable but when we say it with conviction, more often than not, we’re in fact doing ourselves and others a big favour. Knowing saying No is still helping people in some way, I’ve built enough confidence to say No in no time…

Like many of you, I’m home a lot these days.

As an OCD person, housekeeping helps me stay in control of my anxiety. But I also need to remind myself – Don’t go overboard. I remember my shrink said to me: It’s good to be organised but if the ritual becomes a pest, it can be problematic.

Anyway…

Here in the southern hemisphere, another gorgeous day today in Sydney. So lucky, we’ve been blessed with many beautiful sunny days this autumn. I love the fresh smell of sun dried clothes. No artificial fragrance can beat the power of natural sunlight. It’s free and environmentally friendly, too.

After my dog’s passing 2 months ago, I still keep all his stuff in the house. Everything is “business as usual”. For example, his food is still in the cupboard, his toys are still in the basket. As for his bed, I now place it on my bed instead of the floor. It gives me a great sense of belonging and comfort. At night when I go to sleep, I feel as if he’s very closed to me.

The other day I was sorting my dog’s toys before washing them. Most of them were in a good condition except for his favourite one which had lots of wear and tear. Now he’s gone, everything he had touched holds a sentimental value me. By no means I’d throw it away.

Then, there was one new toy he’d never wanted to play with. I thought: What’s the point of keeping it? So on the spur of the moment, I decided to give it away to charity.

Life goes on. For me, it means there’s something to hold on to, there’s something to let go of.

Yes my dog’s gone but only physically. In many ways he’s very much present in my life. As I’ve been on this spiritual journey, taking a more philosophical approach to life’s ups and downs and unexpected events, I realized, I’m not alone. I’ll carry him with me to the next stage of life wherever it may take us…

Life, to be continued…