Is reality real?
This is me 4 weeks ago taking my dog Jamie (his hair) to my favourite weekend getaway. Since discovering this hidden gem 8 years ago, we’d been hanging out here a lot. It had everything I wanted all in one place – peace and quiet, a bush on one side and a beach on the other.
In places like this, whichever way I turn to, there’ll always be a vision of us together. I know some of our footprints we left behind in the past won’t be buried in the sand anytime soon – That’s the beauty of going the road less travelled.
Well into the night, a magical thing happened when I got home. The bowl (porcelain) that I used to keep Jamie’s ashes (sealed tightly in a bag) had a bit “temperature”. It felt a bit warm when I touched it. I was mesmerised by it.
I’m a science kind of guy, if some phenomena can’t be proved by science, I’d rather not believe it or at least remain sceptical till it’s been proven to be true. But let’s face it, sometimes science has its own limitations. Not everything can be measured scientifically or conducted in a lab. One perfect example is, to this day, no one scientist in the world can prove conclusively that it’s the chicken or the egg came first.
They say Seeing is believing. But in real life, I’ve “seen” time and time again, it’s more a case of: There’s more to it than meets the eye.
I don’t know why but since Jamie’s passing I’ve started a new self discovery journey – to explore my relationship with the universe, from a spiritual stand point of course. Just to be clear, I’m not a religious person, nor do I practise any particular faith. There’re pros and cons. OK, I’m a free agent, not bound by any preconceptions or teachings. But because of it, I’m on my own and my free will is too primitive, just not enough for me to find some answers. That means, I have homework to do.
It’s time to learn, un-learn and re-learn.
A few days ago I woke up hearing a voice in my head: It’s your beliefs that create your reality. I immediately hit back and said (not verbally): No way! Reality is just something that happens to you. But deep down, I knew this is not it, there’s more to it.
Remember that famous quote by Henry Ford: Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.
It’s human nature, if you believe in something, you’ll keep on finding evidence to back it up and support it. Likewise, if you don’t believe in something, you’ll look out for information to reinforce your non-believer beliefs.
For some bizarre reason, I believe Jamie is alive somewhere, in a different space, perhaps in the fourth dimension. Some may argue that it’s my wishful thinking. OK, maybe I need a reality check, but who can prove me right or wrong? No one.
After a few days of self reflection here and there, I’ve come to realize:
1. I’m 100% responsible for my decision of letting Jamie go. So, I have to bear 100% consequences of my action. That includes pain. Pain is inevitable. But pain is also invaluable information.
2. Do not force the answers, they will come to you naturally and unexpectedly.
3. When “time is right”, Jamie will send out signs or hints only in a language we both understand.
4. Jamie lives in my heart and will always be there for as long as I live. I see myself as an extension of him.
5. The best way to honour Jamie’s love for me is continue to follow in his “footsteps” and do what we loved to do.
When you seek comfort, what you get in return is only temporary. But when you seek reality, what you get in return is (more) permanent. Remember the word “Reality”, it has no plural form for a reason. That says it all.
If I believe he is, then he is. If I don’t believe he is, then he is not.
It’s up to me…
Ted
Ted Tsai 