The Art Of Moving On

Ted, because nothing heals an old love like a new love does – These are the words form a former colleague of mine.

Asked how she’d jumped from her recent marriage breakdown to a fresh new romantic relationship at such a rapid speed, she shared this quick tip with me.

And she knew what she was up against. In an attempt to avoid controversy or possible overreactions from other peers, she carefully kept her voice down, almost like whispering. The truth of the matter is: We already knew. It was an open secret: She’d started dating again.

A few years later, they got married and had a beautiful child together.

Why is moving on so hard to do for some? Still clinging to the past – those good old times together? Let’s be fair. What about those bad ones that led to each going their separate ways? The thing is, moving on doesn’t make you a heartless person. In fact, it means giving your heart to where it really belongs to.

When you become single again, you’re a free agent. Of course, you can date a new man or a new woman you like. It’s none of anyone’s business.

Ever wondered why some people moved on so quickly? We can argue it was a rebound. Maybe, maybe not. But no one can deny the fact that our brain loves it – the excitement, novelty and hope that a new love brings along.

I can certainly share this kind of sentiment. Though my experience has nothing to do with a romantic relationship. It’s my damn job hunting!

Every time I have my heart set on a job I like, my vulnerability starts to creep in. In two cases where I actually discovered a wrong spelling only after I’d sent the application. It was intolerable. What about giving a dull answer to an interview question? It was even worse. I got that sinking feeling. The thought of I might’ve ruined my chances of getting hired could prove a bit too much to bear.

Then, there comes the magic, the next day or so, you see more new jobs pop up on the screen – whether it’s on LinkedIn or seek.com.au, you realize, wow there’re plenty more fish in the sea! They are a breath of fresh air, you become alive again. It’s a new day, you can learn from yesterday’s mistakes, improve and try again. You no longer hold on to the past – it’s well forgotten. You’ve moved on, effortlessly, sometimes you don’t even know you have.

It’s human nature. We’d like to think that everything we hold dear is one and only. It’s not replaceable. Perhaps. Losing it would be like the end of the world. We know it’s not true. If something is gone or taken away from us, maybe technically, it wasn’t suited in the first place or it has simply passed its expiry date!

Whatever you’re after a new love or a new job, the way to moving on is by moving forward. It’s all about embarking on a new chapter in your life, isn’t it? That says, if you’re no longer on the same page, what do you do? Turn to the next page!

Till next time, watch this space…