An artist, a doer
Everyone’s one and only. But not everyone’s unique.
To be unique in your own way, you’ll have to bring out the best version of yourself, continue to evolve and make improvement every step of the way. When you’re on this self development journey, there’s NO STOP sign of what you can achieve… Ted Tsai
Lead a simple life, not an easy life… Ted Tsai
You’ll never know why someone decided to defriend or disconnect with you. It’s not your job to find out why. Your job is to continue to be yourself… Ted Tsai
Fair enough, shit happens. But having a bad hair day? It’s up to you… Ted Tsai
Ted, because nothing heals an old love like a new love does – These are the words form a former colleague of mine.
Asked how she’d jumped from her recent marriage breakdown to a fresh new romantic relationship at such a rapid speed, she shared this quick tip with me.
And she knew what she was up against. In an attempt to avoid controversy or possible overreactions from other peers, she carefully kept her voice down, almost like whispering. The truth of the matter is: We already knew. It was an open secret: She’d started dating again.
A few years later, they got married and had a beautiful child together.
Why is moving on so hard to do for some? Still clinging to the past – those good old times together? Let’s be fair. What about those bad ones that led to each going their separate ways? The thing is, moving on doesn’t make you a heartless person. In fact, it means giving your heart to where it really belongs to.
When you become single again, you’re a free agent. Of course, you can date a new man or a new woman you like. It’s none of anyone’s business.
Ever wondered why some people moved on so quickly? We can argue it was a rebound. Maybe, maybe not. But no one can deny the fact that our brain loves it – the excitement, novelty and hope that a new love brings along.
I can certainly share this kind of sentiment. Though my experience has nothing to do with a romantic relationship. It’s my damn job hunting!
Every time I have my heart set on a job I like, my vulnerability starts to creep in. In two cases where I actually discovered a wrong spelling only after I’d sent the application. It was intolerable. What about giving a dull answer to an interview question? It was even worse. I got that sinking feeling. The thought of I might’ve ruined my chances of getting hired could prove a bit too much to bear.
Then, there comes the magic, the next day or so, you see more new jobs pop up on the screen – whether it’s on LinkedIn or seek.com.au, you realize, wow there’re plenty more fish in the sea! They are a breath of fresh air, you become alive again. It’s a new day, you can learn from yesterday’s mistakes, improve and try again. You no longer hold on to the past – it’s well forgotten. You’ve moved on, effortlessly, sometimes you don’t even know you have.
It’s human nature. We’d like to think that everything we hold dear is one and only. It’s not replaceable. Perhaps. Losing it would be like the end of the world. We know it’s not true. If something is gone or taken away from us, maybe technically, it wasn’t suited in the first place or it has simply passed its expiry date!
Whatever you’re after a new love or a new job, the way to moving on is by moving forward. It’s all about embarking on a new chapter in your life, isn’t it? That says, if you’re no longer on the same page, what do you do? Turn to the next page!
Till next time, watch this space…
When you think the glass is half full and you live life to the full, you don’t need a bucket list… Ted Tsai
Just because you’re out of job, it doesn’t give you the right or an excuse for selling yourself short.
So far, I’ve been lucky enough to have had 4 interview opportunities. To be shortlisted from a pool of how many applications, it’s a good recognition.
One question I got asked over and over again is: What are your salary expectations? This premature question often makes me uncomfortable but I can see the logic behind it. My answer has always been a standard one: I gave the number in line with my last role as Office Manager, plus I said if they can’t meet my expectations, I’m willing to negotiate for a mutually accepted number within their budgeted range or can review it in 3 months. So, you can see there’s a room for everyone to come to an agreement.
Somehow, my salary expectations must’ve scared them off. They decided to chicken out or avoid me altogether. Well, if they prefer to hire someone cheap, fine by me but just not me.
Anyway, I’ve come up with a good tactic of tackling this type of questions going forward. Won’t say too much here but I’ll let you know how it went at a later day.
So, Office Manager, almost every company has one. It sounds like a fancy title, but till you do the job, you realize it’s one of the most under-rated or least-appreciated roles in the office. Ready to get your hands dirty? A faulty light tube, a leak in the toilet, a dishwasher problem, a swipe card not working, the front door not opening, the lift not working, here and there etc. All these represent only a small fraction of what I used to do in my last role. But I did it anyway. Because I regarded myself as a problem solver and I got paid (enough) to do the job.
Now, I’ll swift gear a bit. Since I posted a long note about my redundancy news a few days back, I got to learn that a friend has also suffered the same fate recently. Everyone deals with their own personal issues differently. We should respect that 100%. For me, an issue like this, I’m very open and transparent about it. There’s no shame. Zero. Of course, I thought for a while before posting it but I’m glad I did. An outpouring of support from friends, colleagues and family has been amazing.
I remember back in January, I had a candid, heartfelt one on one conversation with my reporting manager – the CFO. In our meeting, he complimented me on my ability to handle the bad news – the grace and the dignity that I’ve conducted myself with during the difficult time. He even said: Ted, this is something I can learn from you. I was flattered of course, at the same time, I knew he meant it. He’s not someone known for giving compliments freely.
I said to him: the reason why I’m not worried about life after redundancy is this:
Let’s look at the evidence: None of my ex colleagues or friends (I’m talking about a big number of people from different companies and sectors) including myself who were made redundant or became jobless for that matter continue to be jobless forever. None. Everyone landed a job at the end, unless they decided to retire or not to work for a while. As long as you don’t give up, there’ll be an opening door for you.
This is the same sentiment that I’ve been carrying with me from day one since I heard the “bad” news. I know it sucks, but it’s not all that bad. A couple of days before I left the company for good, I had a chance to speak with someone high up from the head office. Already had 3 experiences under her belt, she said being made redundant is one of the best things that has ever happened to her. I knew she wasn’t exaggerating.
Having said that, not everyone is coping. One of my former colleagues said on the email that his anxiety or depression from the teenage days has resurfaced as a result of it. Amid the uncertainty ahead, he decided to open up and share his vulnerability with us. And? None of us was judgmental about his mental status, we all lent our support to him in our own private way.
One important thing I’ve learned from this journey is: Do not assume.
Do not assume there’s no use going on. The truth is quite the opposite. There’s plenty of use going on and on and on. Just because you don’t see the result you want straight away, it doesn’t mean your effort of doing it has been wasted. It’s just stored somewhere for improvement next time.
Do not assume people don’t care. The truth is: Yes, some don’t give a shit but most do. Choose to be around those who do care, stay away from those who don’t. But bear in mind, those who don’t care perhaps it’s not usually their fault. They may have enough shits to deal with in their life already. Your problem is probably something too small to care about compared to their own.
That’s all from me today. Before I started to write this post, I’d sent off one application. So I’m using this writing thing as a reward. I think I deserve giving myself a pat on the back. Till next time, watch this space…
What’s not to like about Mondays? After sending 6 job applications last week, I’ve received 2 interview invitations. Not bad huh?
I must say, this is only a beginning. There’s still a long long way to go. Having said that, I’ve already had a good taste of some early but small successes. Yes, I celebrate success as soon as I complete each job application. Yes, I break down success into smaller parts for a reason and believe it or not, there’s a psychology behind that. Small is manageable!
Success, success, success. Is that all I think about all day? Can’t I enjoy my free time, sit tight, keep my feet up and relax a bit? Of course, I can but everyone’s situation is different. For me, being a single person with no other source of income, I must be more proactive than anyone else. This is non-negotiable.
One important thing I’ve learned from this job seeking process is: Stay humble. Even though this is a “look at me” self campaign, all about marketing yourself, putting yourself out there, impressing the recruiters and telling them how great you are at doing your job, you can still be humble and confident at the same time. No one is going to think less of you.
So, what has it got to do with old-school humbleness? Isn’t it a bit too self-defeating? Think the other way. Try being arrogant and see how far it’ll take you. I dare not!
At the end of the day, this is not all about me. To put it simply, success isn’t a one-man show, never has, never will. If I succeed in landing a job one day (hopefully sooner than later), I won’t forget an army of supporters behind me – Referees who gave me good references, family and friends who encouraged me and wished me luck.
See, if I’m already this excited at such an early stage, can you imagine when I announce hey I’ve got a job? Till next time, watch this space…
What’s your definition of success? When someone is crossing the finishing line? Think about that moment of glory? How long does it last? Seconds! Then? It’s over.
A few days ago, a reader was kind enough (or should I say brave enough?) to write me a comment on my last post. I was so glad that it was well-received. When someone makes an effort to write you a reply, it’s always appreciated.
There, I briefly touched on the idea of worthiness we often see on social media. Why do I believe it should come under fire? Well, too much emphasis has been placed on the outcome or the result, whereas, the boring part, the process or the work done behind the scenes has been largely played down or ignored.
Like right now, I’m in the process of looking for a job – from preparing a CV, writing and re-writing cover letters to going to interviews, etc. Of course, the final goal, the ultimate destination I want to arrive at is landing a job I like.
To manage my own expectations, I’ve learned to let go of them just that. If I don’t, I’ll be like the way I used to be – being hijacked by the result. Over time, when a desirable outcome doesn’t come soon enough, you become more and more anxious, discouraged, and paralyzed. Then? You start thinking about giving up.
Obviously, it’s easier said than done. To be fair, I didn’t become this “carefree” or “careless” person overnight. It came with experience. That is not to say, I don’t have my moment. I still do. But it’s just that when I have “one of those days”, I’m now able to keep its duration to a minimum.
Sometimes, you have to suck it up, grin and bear it. Don’t leave too much head space for overthinking. A good trade-off for experience is that once learned, it’ll become one of your skill-set for life. From there, you can go on raising your game and lifting the bar higher.
To be honest, when I finish one job application, I then quickly move on to the next one. I’m a strong advocate of that. Why do I think it’s a good strategy? The reason is simple. Because life goes on. The earth continues to move at its own pace. It doesn’t stop for your sake or anyone else’s. The trick is, when you are on par with the universe’s speed – not one step ahead or two steps behind, but in parallel, and guess what?! When a reality sets in, more often than not, you’re more likely to be surprised than disappointed.
I know it may sound crazy (perhaps even sickening), but I actually quite enjoy this painstaking job seeking process. I love spending hours working on one cover letter. I love the fact that many people out there want the same job as much as I do. It brings out the competitiveness in me. It makes me want to try harder and harder. This is how I see it: For each job application sent means one more vote counted towards my next dream job. If it’s going to take another 20 or 50 to get there, so be it. Bring it all on.
It’s funny, it’s been almost a week since I was made redundant, I’ve actually worked longer hours than when I was in my previous job. As they say, looking for a job is a job in itself. It can’t be more true. Another interesting thing I’ve found is: Every time I thought I’d written an error free (or near perfect) cover letter, only later did I discover some holes in it. It goes to show that there’s always room for improvement.
If we can re-define success as something that is in the process, not necessarily in the end result, then it’ll leave some far-reaching and lasting effects. At least, in my book, success won’t look like something so remote, unattainable, or out of reach.
Right now, I only look back when I need to find ways of improvement. What about you? If you’re a student, perhaps success to you is about finishing one essay and improving the next one from there. If you’re a new blogger on the block, perhaps success to you is about writing a quality post and improving the next one from there.
I’m pleased to say that as I write this, I’ve already finished 4 more job applications. I’ll continue this momentum as I go on exploring my next career path, wherever it may be. I expect some twists and turns in the pursuit. After all, a career trajectory is a curve, not a straight line…
Till next time, watch this space!
2020, my first month of the year was busy and productive. What about you?
Friday, the 31st of January, the last time I set foot in this place that had been the centre of my corporate life in the past 4 years. I packed up all personal belongings (not that I had a lot), said goodbye to my colleagues, and left my swipe card for good. I took one last look before heading down to the lifts. This is it. The door is closed. I’ve moved on, no hasta la vista baby. I won’t be back.
In the wake of my departure, last night, I wrote a long post on Facebook saying that I’ve been made redundant. Since then, I’ve received an outpouring of support from friends and colleagues. It’s made me realize that I’m not alone in this journey, now and in the future.
My original idea was to wait until I’ve landed a job, and then I can start bragging about it. But I changed the plan. Unexpectedly, the responses have been overwhelming (in a pleasant way).
That’s the thing. We live in a result-oriented, outcome-driven society. Often what makes the cut, what makes the cover story is a gloss finish we see. In between, we don’t get to see the by-products or the unsexy side of the process that comes along with it. Perhaps we all have been conditioned to believe that only a happy ending is Facebook-worthy, others aren’t.
I’m glad I broke the theory, the stigma around the bad, and the ugly. I don’t need to over-state the good and the beautiful. We’ve seen enough of it on social media already. What should be trending now is: People can feel free to talk about their vulnerability and be completely OK with it. It’s your platform, play hard, but most of all, play real.
I don’t wish to dwell on the redundancy that’s now truly behind me. It’s a history. Right now, it’s all about my next move. But before I can make a move, I’ll need to recharge my batteries.
It’s important to note that it’s only the job that was taken away from me. The ability to rebuild my career has not, conversely, neither the ability to sabotage myself.
You can be your best ally. You can also be your own worst enemy. Since no one can hold two thoughts at the same time, it’s a choice you need to make. Both are hungry wolves. One will power you up, and the other will eat you up. If you believe what I’ve just said makes sense, then you’d agree that before you can bounce back, you’ll have to acknowledge the ball is in your court.
Well into February, the new year seems already like a distant memory. Day one, I’m making no plan A, let alone Plan B. I won’t say I’m unemployed. I’ll say I’m between jobs. See the difference? Living in the moment is an art and truly a lifelong subject. I’m happy to just do simple things in life – playing it by ear, doing some writing, enjoying this little haven of mine, and it’s OK not to know what the next avenue is…
Till next time, keep exploring and watch this space…
Ted Tsai 