Month: June 2018

Posted on

Have The Guts To Know The Gut

What comes to your mind when you hear the word colonoscopy or gastroscopy? Are you familiar with the procedure? For me, it’s important to have an honest discussion about it because I believe in prevention is always better than cure. So, the reason for this post is to bring awareness to what sometimes can be over-looked – our gut health.

Let me be open and straight about it. I had the first colonoscopy and gastroscopy done back in 2013. It went well. As expected, the report showed no sign of abnormality. I was relived. It wasn’t over though. The gastroenterologist told me to come back in 5 years to have another procedure. As it drew closer and closer to the 5 years mark this year, I became more and more nervous and anxious. My brother on the other hand, facing the same scenario, was rational, laid-back and cool about it. He perceived it as a way of detoxing for the body and a necessary process to fully understanding the gut health.

I decided to conquer my fear by facing it. Only last month my brother and I were again sitting in the gastroenterologist’s office for our appointment. I knew why I was there for but chose not to say too much. My brother by my side did the most talking. A top specialist in his field, the same gastroenterologist that I saw 5 years ago, met and greeted us, then started it off by asking us a range of standard questions. It sounded like all in a day’s work to me. Finally, he popped the question I had dreaded: When would you like to have the procedure done? Right there, without thinking too deep, I took the boldest step in a long while and said it in a firm tone of voice: As soon as possible. He flipped through pages of his calendar that already looked very full and put me down in an instant and said he can do it in two weeks. Yes, book me in – I answered in a rapid-fire manner. Within minutes, forms were done, we left his office. My brother was surprised by my snap decision to want it so quickly and to be treated as a private patient at a private hospital instead of a public one.

Once the date was set, the reality began to sink in. I wasn’t scared of the procedure itself but more so the fasting and bowel cleansing process. The second time didn’t mean it was easier. I was willing to going through this short-term pain because I understood the long-term benefits of doing it. The rest was all a matter of just grin and bear it and stop complaining about it.

On the day I was admitted to the hospital, I was incredibly calm and settled thanks to my brother for keeping my company and being my driver of the day. I was so well taken care of by the nurses and doctors that it didn’t feel like I was having a procedure at a hospital but more like a pampering treatment at a day spa. Once I was wheeled into the operating theater, it was getting so real. My eyes were focusing on the operating theatre lights above while one thought running through my mind: I’m going to put my faith in these health professionals. The general anaesthetic quickly took effect and then it was a case of my life was in their hands.

The next thing I knew was a male nurse waking me up and I remember my first question to him was: Is it all done? Yes, all done – he said. Wow, that was quick. They continued to monitor my body for a little while before sending me to the recovery room where I was waiting to hear the results from the gastroenterologist. Shortly after I was given a bit light refreshment, the gastroenterologist came back to explain the report to me: It went well. I found two polyps and removed them. I was a bit taken aback at the news but was grateful for what he’d done. Later on, my brother returned to pick me up. We had a brotherly heartfelt talk while he was taking me home. I thought that was nice.

So, what can I say? I’m glad I did it. I might’ve acted like a drama queen in all these but hey I’m older and wiser enough not to justify my behaviors to anyone. This experience has taught me so many lessons that I can’t simply articulate them all in one go or put them into words. That night, I had a bath at home trying to relax a bit after a long day. It may sound strange, but I literally gave myself a pat on the back and said “Well done Ted”…

Posted on

Too Many Questions And No Answers

A few days ago I went to create a new page titled “Header Image” on this blog of mine. Underneath that I inserted some narratives to describe where the photo was taken and those beautiful features around it. I felt like I had something more to say about it. So for this post, it’s an extension of that page…

If you’ve been here before, you’d agree that the view here is simply spectacular. I love being here, so does my dog. When we come up here on a sunny day, I tend to settle into my spot – a comfortable shady area away from direct sun but still exposed enough to see what’s going on. I often sit or lie down with my arms and legs stretched as far as I can then just watch the day go by. Being in a zone like this, I normally just close my eyes and try to meditate. It’s never ceased to amaze me just how slowly time can go by when I take a moment to quieten down. Of course, it’s not all calm and peaceful. Within minutes, many unwanted thoughts can pop up and even smallest noises from everywhere can shift my attention away. This has always been a challenge for me. But my philosophy here is I don’t need to be a meditation master. Just happy to be a doer.

How the story goes is in the last several months when I was in this place, I did what I used to doing – looking intently into the horizon, where the sky and the ocean met, then in a non-religious sense, asking nature a whole range of questions about things that weren’t particularly going well in my life or some fears or anxiety I was experiencing, in the hope of getting some clue or hint in return. Time after time, as it turned out, my efforts seemed in vain. It felt like I was just barking up the wrong tree in all attempts. With no exception, to say conclusively, it was a case of too many questions, too many why’s and no answers. Bearing with this, my frustration started to grow and my patience began to run out. I couldn’t help but question power of nature and wonder what’s the point of it anyway.

So. I stopped asking… then one day I came to realization that all those times I wondered why I never got a response, nature had done its part to inspire and give me all the answers but I hadn’t been listening.

What was it then? Silence… 

Posted on

The Healing Power Of A Man-To-Man Talk

Guys are notorious for their reluctance to speak their mind or share their feelings or thoughts when going through some tough time. The stigma of showing the vulnerabilities for men is so great that we’d rather bottle things up than risk looking weak and fragile in front of everyone.

As a man, what’s your own coping mechanism? Do you tend to put on a brave face? When it comes to mental health, most guys are probably guilty of this: Sweeping the issues under the carpet and not dealing with them. It may help save our faces in the short term but later it’s bound to backfire and explode.

Believe or not, the average time it takes to secure an appointment these days is five weeks. So busy and so time poor! This kind of timeframe seems unrealistic if you just want to have a quick catch up with your mate. No wonder there are more people nowadays connect with each other electronically than those face to face. For me, I often work around my schedule on a moment notice or better yet spontaneously. But one week ago, I changed it – my ritual a bit. I sent an “early” invitation to a business-associate-turned-friend Huw to see if he is free to catch up one day in the next week or so. I told him from the outset that I have a special voucher for a complimentary cocktail at Amora Hotel Jamison Sydney for myself and a guest, hoping it’d be enough to lure him to join me for a sip. Luckily, it all worked out well for both of us, so we decided to meet up the following Tuesday.

Shortly after he accepted my invitation, I had this faint idea that I’ll just spend one good hour with him. To get the ball rolling, I thought I’d start off by talking about my recent blog posts. The rest we could just go with the flow.

On the day we joined up at the meeting point, we both arrived early. No time to waste! We started chatting away while making our way to the hotel. Once we got to the bar, I was in an even chattier mood thanks to the aesthetic effects of the bar setting and the exotic flavours of the cocktail drinks.

As time went by, I found myself telling Huw more about my vulnerable stuff. Funnily enough, I noticed that he started to reveal his side of vulnerabilities to me, too. A sign that we had built a mutual trust. We covered a wide range of topics like job security, career reinvention, stress in life, mental health, physical health, hair loss, fears, anxiety, Cal Newport’s Deep Work and Mel Robbin’s Five Second Rule and so on.

By the time we were about to wrap up and call it a day, almost 2 hours had passed. It felt as if I’d just got out of a therapy session. I realised things meant to be uncertain or unknown would remain the way they were supposed to be or intended. It’s called the future for a reason. I still had the same fears or anxiety before and after I walked into and out of the door. But the difference is in knowledge. I’d always thought I was alone in some way or had bigger or unique issues than all other guys. It turned out some of us are actually in the same boat. Through a candid man-to-man talk like ours, it’s helped me see the light and understand the healing power of sharing vulnerability between men. And, that’s just one talk alone, imagine if we do more of it…