Tag: Fear

Sitting on the edge of the ocean, just feeling the breeze, listening to the waves and watching the clouds. It was so relaxing and peaceful. No need to fight or flight. There was nothing to run up against anyway. Soon after the sun was set, we then proceeded to the near by park, about 0.7 km from Curl Curl beach.

They say always expect the unexpected. Sure, I agree 100%. I learned the ropes and learned the hard way.

Things started to get a bit out of ordinary when we got there. A woman roughly in her late 30’s, was on her bike, circling the park as if she was looking for something. Believe it or not, she was the only person I talked to the whole weekend.

I saw her coming towards us in a rather mad, ruthless manner. It was kind of annoying that she didn’t stay on the right (left) side of the shared path. What the hell was she thinking?

She stopped in front of us. Her shortness of breath was quite noticeable even from a distance. But more so was she looked like she was about to cry. Have you seen my boy? She asked. He was out for a jog, was supposed to be home half an hour ago. Tears quickly fell down on her face.

I felt her worries, a mother’s anguish at what might happen to her son. I wanted to offer my sympathy but decided to say nothing and just listen. A little 5 minutes later, her mobile phone started to ring. It changed everything for her.

It was a call she’d been waiting for. A sign of relief was written all over her face. She smiled fondly at the news that her 12 year old son had arrived home safe and sound. I told her to give him a big hug! I WILL – she said with a big grin – a sharp contrast to her earlier state of distress.

After we parted, I thought for a minute, really, the biggest fear we can experience is possibly the fear of losing the ones we love.

Living life fearlessly doesn’t mean getting rid of fear. Realising this type of fear is not meant to go away but serves one purpose – to cherish people we love and never take their presence for granted.

The pandemic is a wake up call for many of us. It’s caused fear on an unprecedented scale. We don’t know if history will repeat itself, do we?

But what now? It’s a good question. For me, after losing my job, my dog and smashing my car, a series of unfortunate events in 2020, I had enough. I just want to do what I love to do and do it now, today, not tomorrow. Because tomorrow may never come.

If lucky, when tomorrow comes, expect it’ll come with a new price tag, a new development. A well thought out Plan B or a shiny crystal ball may not be enough to keep up with change that’s coming at you. That’s life.

What’s the underlying message of fear? It’s loud and clear, isn’t it? If we can’t lose it, well, perhaps it’s time we use it…

Risks are everywhere. Places we often regard as the most safe, secure and comfortable in the world – our homes, aren’t necessarily a risk-free zone.

Like it or not, we take risks all the time. Sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly. Even risk avoidance in itself is another form of risk-taking. Funny huh?

Fears come in all shapes and sizes. For some people, simple things like going out and about, can prove to be overwhelming and challenging.

Every one is different. A person who is afraid of heights, doesn’t mean he or she is scared of flying. Another person who is afraid of crowds, doesn’t mean he or she is scared of public speaking. It doesn’t have to make sense as long as it feels real – that’s what people care about.

I remember quite clearly, one Sunday afternoon I ventured into Manly Dam in Sydney and did a bush walk there, regardless the weather forecast said it was going to be unpredictable. I gnored, I still went, I didn’t care.

Well, it was very stubborn of me. I tempted fate, got what I deserved – rain! Silly me.

If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, then you’d know being in a bush under cold, wet and dark conditions can be a very unpleasant experience. It didn’t take long before I realised I was covered in mud and dirt.

For someone who is a clean freak and has some form of OCD, it’s a big deal. Admittedly, sometimes I do put on a brave face and act like it doesn’t bother me. But on the inside my fear of contamination and fear of germs can go through the roof. Anyway, I should write a new post about it one day.

No fuss. I wasn’t the only guy in the bush. Still, there were a few crazy people around, joggers and dog walkers alike. Knowing I wasn’t alone, motivated me.

Of course, I had other choices. The easiest thing for me to do would’ve been staying at home, putting my feet up, lying on my couch and having some comfort food.

Why didn’t I do that?

Well, I put myself in this position for a reason. I wanted to face my fears and find ways of building strengths again, of course also to keep a promise to my dog Jamie.

I can’t lie to you about the fact that I often relapse into an old mindset or a bad habit altogether. Just go around in circles: Fight, flight, fight, flight, fight, flight, repeat and repeat again. But that’s OK. At least every Sunday cycle, I do get out and get back on my feet again… literally speaking!