How To Break Stereotypes

Taking a dog out means sometimes we’re restricted to several public places. No hard feelings, I understand.

On a very rare occasion both Jamie (my dog) and I were allowed in an audience area, but we were at popular dog friendly Manly (Sydney) beach anyway.

We enjoyed watching Cheerleading Championships with family on Sunday afternoon exactly 3 years ago. These young people were truly amazing. To push the body beyond its limits like that, they must’ve done lots of hard work behind scenes.

What struck me most is a good mix of male and female competitors among the groups. It was a refreshing change. After all, cheerleading had been one of the female dominated sports for as long as I could remember. Of course, to this day, it’s still the case.

Wait! Before I go on any further, have I just heard someone say cheerleading isn’t a sport?

Well, my position is anything that’ll help break male stereotypes, count me in!

It’s funny, way before we were born, we had already been conditioned to and moulded into some certain types by our carers. They included the colours of clothing chosen by our parents, the kinds of toys we were given to play with and the roles we were expected to grow into in the family, at school, at work and in the society in later years.

Generation after generation, stereotypes about people were formed and passed down. Ideas about gender were generalised and portrayed in the media, in our head and in all corners of the world.

Under this framework, spoken or unspoken, written or unwritten, if you are someone who fits in with a particular group, you are welcome as part of the tribe, but if you are someone who doesn’t fit in with the group, you are seen as a black sheep at best or at worst as an outcast. Whichever happens, it can be a very lonely place to be.

The question is, how do you to break stereotypes and free yourself from it?

To bring the under-represented self to the table, my take is: It’s your niche, keep on doing what you’ve been doing.

If you’re someone who loves cooking and you want to be a master chief instead of a doctor as perceived by others, go and put on your favourite apron, keep on polishing your signature dishes and learning new skills required to be a top cook like no others.

If you’re someone who loves playing a musical instrument and you want to be a music producer instead of an engineer as perceived by others, go and practice, practice and practice necessary skills required to be at the helm and write as many musical notes as possible to shout out the noises, gossips and critics from the outside world.

Others can form as many stereotypes about you as they like, but realistically you don’t have time to break them all. So, don’t waste your time on that.

Conversely, do not stereotype stereotypes. It may sound a bit abstract, but I think you get the idea. Fight fire with fire may backfire. When a stereotype is created out of the norm, it’s an indication we simply don’t know any better at a given time.

One last thing to note, breaking stereotypes is about proving yourself right, not about proving others wrong. Now, that’s my type…

Why Impatience Means Business

This is The Spit Bridge in Mosman, one of the most beautiful suburbs in Sydney Australia. No joke. It’s got a split personality. Every now and then it splits into half and half, one end opens in an upright position to allow boats taller than its height to go from one side to the other.

Of course, when it’s open, the traffic on the bridge has to stop and stand still until the bridge closes again which can take a while.

If you don’t mind waiting, you can simply enjoy the wonderful water view around. But if you are in hurry, you’d better pray that you don’t come across the red traffic light there as the wait can be painfully long. Once you get stuck in there, you can’t turn back. The only option is wait.

What about in life or in business, what would you do if you’re sick and tired of waiting? They say patience is a virtue, unfortunately it’s just not one of my strongest points.

2 weeks? What?! I reacted in disbelief. Well, that’s what the bookstore staff told me when I asked her how long it’ll take for this particular book to arrive. Slightly disappointed, I still went ahead and placed an order.

Once again, my patience was put to the test. Clearly I was being too overly optimistic about my capability to wait.

Well into the fifth day, I started to show a sign of impatience. No longer could I hold it, so out of desperation I rang the bookstore to find out the status of my order. You can imagine how eager I must’ve been. It was driving me wild. Not getting a satisfying answer, I thought perhaps I should try on-line.

I did. Within minutes I found a reputable on-line book retailer selling the same book. Best of all, it was “in stock”, available for shipping next day, even at a cheaper price. No time to waste, I went straight to make an order. What’s next? The book and other 2 titles arrived in just 3 days.

I know it’s still a long way away before I become a patient person. However, I can certainly do something to keep a balance.

While I’m a keen supporter of bricks and mortar stores and really want to see them survive and thrive in the ever changing market, I’ll continue turning to on-line retailers to buy items that aren’t readily available in store. With this mind, I have the best of both worlds.

Wait no more. Since patience isn’t my department, I might as well use impatience to my advantage…

Embrace Mediocre Self 100%

What comes to your mind when you hear the word mediocre?

Average? Below average? Not too good? Not too bad? So so? Just OK? 50 50?

All in all, there’s a negative connotation attached to it. That’s no surprise. Why? If you look it up in an English dictionary, you’ll see why.

In terms of word origin, derives from French via the Latin, mediocre literally means halfway up the mountain.

For the sake of argument, if you reached the midpoint of the world highest mountain Himalaya, would you call yourself an average achiever? That’s whopping over 4000 km above sea level! Mediocre in this context, in any language is no average at all. In fact, for that kind of height, it’s considered to be a peak in many countries no matter what yardsticks you use.

Let’s face it, whatever goals we set out to achieve, big or small, the size doesn’t matter, we’ll always feel a mountain of work in front of us anyway. If the first step is hard enough, let alone finish midway.

Funny we often celebrate for having taken the very first step, but we disapprove of ourselves for getting there halfway? Shouldn’t we even have a bigger celebration to mark the effort?

Mediocrity, whichever angle we look at it from, it’s an accomplishment in itself. It may not be something you want to rave about, but at the “core” of it, lies in your ability to get to the top. You’re already halfway! Congrats!

Next time I hear the word mediocre again? I’ll take it as a compliment…

Two Years On…

Two years ago, I finally ignited my passion for writing and created my own blog. Admittedly, still at its infancy stage but at least it was born.

Without trying to sound too arrogant, since then I’ve embraced a new identity: a writer and a blogger. It doesn’t just stop there. I have evidence to back it up!

I don’t deny the fact that I did give up once. But thankfully not for too long. Two weeks later I made a comeback. I realized I simply cannot walk away from it.

Two years on… Well, what can I say? If I could sum it up in only a few words: Watch this space!

From me to you… Never surrender!

Ted

Words Matter, But Word Order Matters Even More

Words hurt. Words heal. Words can limit you. Words can also un-limit you.

The importance of word choice has been so widely discussed that it needs no further explanations or elaborations. I’ll save my breath here.

Asking questions is another art form of words. It’s also one of surefire ways to gain some clarity about things we’re curious about.

A change in word order or “question order” however opens up a new set of opportunities for seeing things or yourself in a different light, only for better.

When asked: How is life treating you? We accept it’s a fair, ordinary, everyday type of question. But if you shift around and rearrange it to: How are you treating life? And? How do you feel? Now you’re in charge of your life…

Why Living In The Moment Is A Must

This tranquil setting within a little-known reserve provides a temporary escape from a busy life outside. We came here on Sunday afternoon to enjoy the peace & quiet.

It’s a secret haven for me. A place where I can recharge batteries after a flat out crazy week in a corporate world.

Right here, you can’t help but want to slow down. When it comes to meditation, I’m not good at focusing on breath in and breath out that kind of thing. My mind wanders like a dog off a leash. Somehow, having a free will doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll set you free.

Interestingly enough though, at a bush site like this, I rarely think about the past nor the future. Living in the moment is a must. Meaning you have to watch your step. If you don’t, you are bound to hit your toes or trip over…

Curiosity

The less obvious, the more intriguing.

Curiosity led me to discover this track to a secret Lagoon. Yes, I got lost in the middle but that was part of fun.

I love exploring the unknown because the novelty that comes along with it just never wears off. Again, I shared this moment with my little one Jamie…

Now, I’m sharing it with my readers. What are you curious about?

More often than not, I’m let down by own expectations. But when it comes to curiosity, I’m more likely to be surprised than disappointed.

There’s something about curiosity I can’t quite resist. Looking back at those so called hidden treasures I stumbled across, it wasn’t a map or a GPS or a guidebook, but curiosity that helped find my way…

No English, No Chances

Google chose their APAC headquarters to be based in Singapore rather than in Taiwan and elsewhere in Asia. Why do you think that is?

To be successful on the global stage, you must have a great command of English. If you don’t, you can forget about it. In that, Singapore outperforms the rest of Asia.

If you’ve ever studied a foreign language, then you probably already know the challenges and frustration that come with it.

So, what does it take to get your message across in a different tongue? Why do some countries do so well while others don’t?

In reference to English as a second language, today I learned that Taiwan, my birth country, ranked poorly (scored “low”) on the English Proficiency Index (EPI) 2018 released by English First (EF). Standing uncomfortably at the 48th place worldwide out of 89 non-English-speaking countries, this disappointing result was Taiwan’s worst over the last 8 years, dropped from the 40th place in 2017, the 2nd worst record in history.

With the next index due to be released on 05 November 2019, I’m very keen to find out how much worse it can get!

So, what needs to be done to increase the level of literacy and overall linguistic skills in English for Taiwan? Not that there’s a lack of focus or support from Taiwanese authorities, schools and parents. In fact, there’s plenty. But relying solely on an existing curriculum or external support network will not help students go far enough, because they have their own limitations, and this is true for any countries.

From a personal experience, it was the extra time and effort invested outside the school hours that helped me make a difference. Back in the day, I used to listen to the English broadcast on the radio to improve my listening and speaking skills. I also hired personal tutors (who were native English speakers) and went to private English classes in the evening.

I remember how I usually sat in a front row of the classroom acting like a top student. I just grabbed any opportunities I could to practice my English and ask a lot of questions.

Having a bit thick skin allowed me to keep my fears under control. Some common fears such as fear of being laughed at, fear of being called a show-off and fear of making mistakes weren’t simply in my vocabulary! To this day, I’m still the same person who loves learning new words and phrases.

With the convenience of internet everywhere, there’s really no shortage of external learning resources. So, to thrive, it all boils down to “inside job”. What? Inside job? Don’t freak out. By that I mean working on it internally to acquire language skills or any skills for that matter.

Lastly, confidence doesn’t come from self-talk, it comes from self-practice. It may not be as easy as ABC in the beginning but with practice, practice and practice, the results will soon speak for themselves…

Jamie’s Poetry 3

English is a funny language!

I can’t stand you. Your behaviour doesn’t sit well with me…

After I break up, I break down…

You may shut me up but you can’t shut me down…

If I can’t put up with you, I put you down…

Getting too serious? Don’t be. After all, life has its ups & downs. What goes up, must come down! Trust me, chin up, stress down!