Month: November 2018

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Feel The Pain, Heal The Pain

Pain, no one likes it, we all try to avoid it. It’s only natural. We’re all humans. But is pain that bad? Does pain hurt us so much that it deserves no place in our lives? When we feel the pain, what is it trying to tell us? Is there anything else other than the discomfort that it inflicts on us?

Last week I finally surrendered to my thumping headache. After 2 days of enduring pain, I decided enough is enough. So, I dragged myself to the local supermarket and buy a mini pack of Panadol (paracetamol). It was the first time in many years (possibly more than 15 years) that I went to buy an over the counter (OTC) medicine to treat a pain related symptom. Judging by my poor track record, I don’t think any pharmaceutical companies would like me as a consumer. Why wouldn’t they? I’m just not one of those guys who would reach for a painkiller as soon as I experience some physical pain. It may sound strange or weird but I’d like to test out my tolerance level for pain and give my body a chance to fight and respond before I resort to the medicine option. Of course, provided the pain is not serious, urgent or life-threatening. Luckily, I haven’t been in a situation where I needed to seek an immediate medical attention. Just for the record, I’m not against medicine but I’m a firm believer that my body needs time to settle the pain, understand why it’s hurting, then go into a right channel of healing.

In my recent case, taking medication was certainly a wise decision to make. I started to function like my normal self very quickly. Going through a work day not affected by my headache was a bless. Thanks to the magical power of paracetamol. However, deep down I knew it’d only be temporary. 6 to 8 hours passed, the effect began to wane, the pain came back in no time. It was as clear as it started. A pain medicine is never intended for long term use anyway. If we read the label carefully, it says: provide fast, effective temporary relief of pain. So, after having popped a total of 6 pills into my system in a matter of 2 days, I thought it was time to confront my pain head on, literally. It wasn’t hard to see why my headache was only a symptom. The real cause lied in my weakening immune system due to a lack of sleep. All it took was one wild chilly wind blow, then bingo! I caught a nasty cold.

To treat the cause rather than the symptom, I consciously made time throughout the day to allow myself to rest and slow things down a bit. It was amazing how fast my body recovered from it. I woke up feeling rejuvenated. The headache was gone by itself without drugs. Right there and then, I knew I’d treated my body right.

None of us is a machine. We do need to recharge our batteries every once a while. Walking away from the rat race for a few hours or even for a day for a health-benefit reason won’t set us back both in the short and long runs. If it does, we’ll have to question if it’s all worth it. When we put a highest priority on health, we’re in front in a game. Other less important things can wait. When our bodies start to send a signal to our brains that something is up in the form of pain, it’s a red flag. My experience has taught me that an effective coping mechanism for pain is fundamentally about giving what the body needs, not wants – it may be painstaking but is worth taking…

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Are Rules To Be Followed Or Broken?

Are you someone who does almost everything by the book? Is there a rulebook in your life that you’ve been following but never questioned if it’s still serving you? Is that rulebook written by yourself or someone else? Do you believe in rules are to be followed or broken? 

The world-famous Taiwanese sculptor Ju Ming once said in one of rare TV interviews a few years back: If you look around nature, things come in all shapes and sizes, but nothing in perfectly square. It was such a profound statement. I literally sat in front of my laptop re-playing it in my head and trying to digest every word that came out of it. So powerful that it’s stuck with me ever since. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I guess I can call it a light bulb moment. In case you don’t know who Ju Ming is, of course you can Google him and find more information about his life on Wikipedia or his website. The reason why I reference him here is because it gives me a good starting point to argue that rules aren’t born out of nature, they are predominately man-made, crafted and created by individuals for specific purposes – like law and order.

Of course in our society, there’re regulations to be obeyed to, protocol to be followed though. No exceptions. All people are expected to be law-abiding citizens in all circumstances or they’ll face the consequences. Anything that is still unfair, unjust, unequal, it takes laws to change laws. We know the process can take years and in many cases, failures, setbacks, frustrations are not uncommon. It can be a whole new set of topic to discuss but for now, to a much smaller scale, I want to talk about what do we do about those rules in our personal lives. Are they helpful? Are they stretching you or limiting you? Ju Ming said, as a beginner you can acquire as many skills as you like when you’re learning. But in a creation process, you need to unlearn, stop thinking, throw away all the things you’ve been taught by others, do nothing but simply executing the work.

Researching on the topic has been a rewarding experience for me. I’m absolutely captivated by Jun Ming’s artworks and his philosophy of life. Even though you don’t consider yourself as an arty type of person, will find his artworks full of life and engaging to watch. I first heard of him when I was only a child but who would’ve thought two to three decades later I’d write a post inspired by him. So, back to the question of: Are rules to be followed or broken? Before I started to write this post, I thought I had a “right” answer based on my own presumption but after I’ve done more study of this subject, I’m going to surprise myself and say: I think it’s both.

If you’re an artist or someone who wants to pursue a mastery in your field, rules are to be followed when you first learn the basic techniques. Over time they will help you lay a solid foundation before you take your skillset to the next level. As you progress, rules are to be bent so they adapt to your unique personal style unlike and unmatched by others. Finally, when you execute your work, rules are to be broken or let go, so you aren’t bound by any preset concepts, thoughts or ideas, that’s when you produce something, a masterpiece truly your own. Sounds like an art? I think it is…

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Wanted. Desperately Seeking Attention

Believe it or not, the moment you open your eyes, get out of the bed in the morning, get ready for a new day, you are already a wanted person, even though you don’t feel like it. Guess which part of you is the most sought after by the world? Your attention that is – the invisible but super highly valuable asset you’ve ever had. Look around, it’s not hard to understand why. You step out the door, go to places, watch for the traffic lights, the road signs, the cars. When driving or crossing the streets, your close attention on the traffic conditions keeps you safe and sound. Meanwhile, there’re tons of distractions from all corners of the world are also fighting for your attention. Somehow, within your conscious mind, you decide to block them all and only focus on one thing that matters most – the road safety. However, as soon as you arrive at your destination, you check your phone or other mobile devices, read your Facebook feeds or new emails, before you know it, another round of battle for your attention has already begun. Day in and day out, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even when you sleep. The world wants your attention badly. If your attention isn’t your most important asset, then what is?

To conceptualize the idea of attention, a good way to start is looking at its closest cousins – thoughts. Much has been said about our thoughts and how important it is to watch what we’re thinking in our heads as it can lead to how we speak to ourselves and others, how we act and react to circumstances we are in. Ever wondering how many thoughts do we have a day? Let’s Google it and see. And? What are the numbers? Thousands! I’m amazed by just how those neuroscientists or researchers came to their conclusions. Assuming those numbers they came up with are right, it goes to show how complicated and thoughtful creatures we as human beings really are. To me, thoughts alone aren’t enough to make or break our days. It’s thoughts that we pay attention to make or break our days. Furthermore, since we can only hold one thought at one time, then the quality of our output all depend on choices we make consciously and subconsciously.

Like it or not, the world is a biased place. It has favuoritism towards positivity. Our attention can go through the roof, work their way to sabotage us if we spend too much time dwelling on negativity. I don’t think negative thinking is that big deal but it’ll become one if we give more weight than it deserves and let it expand out of control. Take my recent experience as an example, the other day I found myself getting more passive aggressive at work. The trigger? I didn’t feel appreciated. It sounds like a silly reason, doesn’t it? I’m sure no one likes to feel underappreciated or underrated especially when someone fails to show appreciation in a way we expected. The question is: Should we be the ones pay the price for it? In my case, I kept hanging on the same thought- not feeling appreciated and the moment I captured myself falling into the deep trap, I started asking myself: Why am I still paying attention to something that clearly doesn’t serve me? How should I stop it? Paradoxically, the harder I tried to stop it, the more emphasis I placed on it, the more attention it got from me and the deeper I got stuck in it.

Later that day when I got home, I no longer got hung up by my earlier thought as there were more important things in my place for me to focus on. I realized: to shift our attention, it’s not about getting an old thought out of our heads or de-focusing. It’s about letting a new thought into our heads and re-focusing. Do you agree? If you’ve read this post up to this point, I thank you for your attention…